Beacons of Love
by TheGoose2012
Summary: Training to fight the Grimm can be hard. Dating can be even harder. With some extra time off before the Tournament, can Honey and Randi help their classmates find love? And why exactly is Yang laughing so hard next door? A comedic spin-off to In RWBY's Shadow in which Honey and Randi set up a matchmaking service at Beacon.
1. Lighting the Beacon

**Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! To celebrate, your favorite OC team (well, my favorite team) is back for some lighthearted fun. Much like RWBY Chibi, this will be the comedic spin-off to lessen the emotional trauma of In RWBY's Shadow. It takes place before the Tournament, which for timing purposes, has been delayed due to security issues. Basically, just needed an excuse for this to happen before the fights but after a certain pairing developed.**

***If you haven't read In RWBY's Shadow, I'd recommend tackling that first. Bit of a spoiler in this chapter regarding the ultimate pairing there.***

**Speaking of In RWBY's Shadow, I've begun uploading edited chapters on Wattpad and AO3. Changes are minor (mostly grammar/spelling corrections), but I will be updating it on here in the near future. Expanded to the other two sites just to spread the love (or pain...I'm really not sure sometimes). FFN will always be my first love.**

**Well, enough stalling. You guys came to see a little more of Team LHSR, so lets dive in.**

* * *

"Is it ready yet?" Honey anxiously asked, practically bouncing as she peeked over her teammate's shoulder.

"It's done," Randi patiently answered, shaking her head with a soft smile as she indulged her friend's excitement. "I finished the edits this morning, but it's taking a while to upload. You know how slow the system gets in the evening."

Randi returned to watching the slowly expanding progress bar on the screen in front of her. Despite her calm demeanor, Randi couldn't deny the thrill that wormed its way into her. What had started out as a random joke from a friend had taken off without much warning. Honey had been a little hesitant at first, but once they got started, she seemed determined to see it through.

"How about now?"

"Still not done," Randi sighed. "I should've done this earlier, but it took a little longer to finish than I'd expected." Randi had zero experience editing videos or designing an app, but with a little persistence – and a lot of online how-to videos – she'd managed to get it done. "Still a few minutes left."

"That's what you said _last_ time!" Honey complained, stamping her foot in an adorable pout. "What's taking so long?"

"Too many people online, I'd guess," Smit offered from across the room, not even bothering to look away from the game he was playing. "Ha! Noob! That's what you get for camping."

"Speaking of…"

"Smit!" Honey roared…or, well, as close to a roar as she could manage. "Stop hogging all the bandwidth. This is important!" She tried to snatch the controller from his hands, but Smit agilely twisted away from each attempt, eyes still glued on the screen in front of him as he continued to wreak havoc on the other players.

"In a minute, _Mom_!" Smit shot back, even as his player died in a horrific explosion. "Aw, c'mon Winchester. You really gonna start noob tubin' in here?" Honey abandoned her attempts to stop the online slaughter as Smit berated their classmate for his apparent lack of skill. Instead, she stomped back over to Randi, resigning herself to the never-ending loading cycle.

"You two really going through with that stupidity?" Lilly groaned from her bed, staring daggers at Randi over her textbook. Lilly had made her hatred of their new pet project evident every step of the way, even going so far as to look for ways to stop them. Of course, Randi expected as much and had taken the precaution of backing up all of her files in multiple locations. When their video footage mysteriously vanished one afternoon, she simply pressed on with one of several copies without saying a word.

The look on Lilly's face that evening had been priceless.

"Absolutely," Randi grinned, glancing over her shoulder to her team leader. Lilly continued trying to summon death with her eyes, but eventually gave in and returned to her studies with an exasperated huff. Evidently, she'd given up hope of stopping them, though she'd proven quite the sore loser.

After realizing that Lilly was bent on sabotaging their efforts, Randi installed a lengthy password to protect the file from further attacks. Lilly probably thought she was _so_ smart with that Semblance of hers, connecting with Randi to watch her type. The indignant squawk when Randi typed in _Lillyisabutt_ the next day proved her suspicions. Since then, Randi had been careful to avoid looking at the keyboard as she typed, just to be safe.

"Oh, c'mon. It's not _that_ bad."

"Easy for you to say," Lilly grumbled back, sinking further into her mattress.

"But you two look so cute together!" Honey's rationale did little to appease their leader, who audibly ground her teeth together in annoyance. As always, Honey began to waver against Lilly's irritation. "Does it really bother you that much?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Lilly growled through clenched teeth. Her tightening grip on the book before her threatened to rip it to pieces.

Honey looked to her faunus teammate for support, but Randi was tired of fighting the girl's battles for her. Honey could be quite forceful, but only when she felt she had to be. Otherwise, the girl folded at the slightest pressure – especially when it came to Lilly. Sure enough, Honey sighed in defeat as she prepared to give in.

"W-well, if it's such a big deal, then I guess we should ju–"

"It's done!" Randi declared victoriously, dashing Lilly's last hope. "The app is live."

"Eeeee!" Honey squealed with glee, nearly bowling Randi over as she rushed to watch the screen. "Finally! Do we have any hits? Where does it show our traffic? Has anyone watched our video yet?"

Randi slipped out of her seat, gently pulling the smallest member of Team LHSR onto the chair to contain her. "It just went up, Honey. Give it a few minutes."

Lilly scoffed from behind them, abandoning her reading once more to rain on their parade. "Minutes? Try days, at least. There's so many apps on the Beacon servers. I doubt anyone will even notice a new one, especially on a Saturday evening. You'll be lucky to beat that stupid Grimm game in popularity."

"Hey! You leave Jumpy the Beowolf out of this!" Smit protested.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Lilly asked, shaking her head in disappointment. "The point is, it takes time to generate any meaningful traffic. It's not like everyone's gonna suddenly know about your stupid app the moment it goes live."

Honey's shoulders fell as Lilly's words silenced the room. Even Smit turned to watch as his match ended, eyes darting between Lilly and Randi in anticipation of some sort of theatrics.

"What, no snappy comeback?" Lilly taunted. "What's the matter, Randi? You finally willing to admit I'm right about something?"

"Oh, are you done already?"

"What do you mean _already_?" Lilly demanded.

Randi glanced at her scroll with a frown. "It's just…I kinda expected you to rant for a little longer. Really rub it in my face or something. This…this is disappointing."

"I can go on, if you want," Lilly offered with a smug grin.

"No, it's just…I usually have better timing than this." Randi tapped her foot impatiently as she glanced aimlessly around the room for several seconds. Lilly looked to Smit, but he just shrugged in return, as in the dark as she was. "Eh, close enough. Wait for it…"

One by one, the four scrolls in the room pinged with a notification. The same sound could faintly be heard echoing in their neighboring rooms, but Randi knew it would be rippling throughout the entire school. Even the exchange students would receive an alert, blanketing her entire target audience with their specially prepared advertisement.

Horror dawned upon Lilly's face at the implication. "Randi, what have you done?" she demanded.

"Like you said, we need to generate traffic to our site. What better way than a large-scale advertisement sent directly to every scroll in Beacon?" Randi grinned as Lilly collapsed to her knees with a broken wail. Setting that up hadn't been easy, forcing Randi to call in a few favors to get help with the mass distribution.

Coco provided the key ingredient, having pieced together the teachers' notification system from helping Professor Port with some lessons – a punishment that Coco considered akin to death. Thankfully, he'd had her do almost all of his work, including sending out an alert about his absence before the dance. Velvet, who seemed quite tech savvy, then showed her how to attach her video, as well as schedule the release for a specific time.

Honey jumped as her scroll chirped suddenly. "What's this?" she asked, reading the message that Randi knew would be on her own scroll as well.

"I set it up to send us both notifications when someone signs up," Randi explained, even as her scroll let out another tone…and another…and another. "Wow. The student body sure is desperate." _Not surprising, given the lack of dates at the dance. Wish we had come up with the idea before then._

The periodic alerts soon turned into a steady rhythm as the bored masses of Beacon found a new source of entertainment. Across campus, students latched onto the idea vigorously, creating profiles while trying to hide such from those around them. More alerts came as some went so far as to submit the questionnaire, hoping that Randi and Honey could find them a match and end their loneliness.

Beacons of Love had officially launched.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"I'm so bored!" Yang groaned loudly, even if she knew the empty room wouldn't respond. After the Breach, the Council made the controversial decision to postpone the Tournament to investigate the attack and beef up security, meaning she suddenly had a ton of free time. Problem was, she had no idea what to do with it at the moment.

Ruby was busy with her new friend Emerald while Weiss had some important meeting with her sister. _Sheesh. Could those two be any more formal?_ Apparently, Schnees did not merely hang out. Their time was _far_ too valuable for such frivolities.

Blake…well, she was busy with her usual obsession – studying the White Fang reports in the library. It wasn't as bad as before, but she still wasted a lot of precious free time on her former organization. Yang doubted the _actual_ members of the White Fang invested as much effort as her partner did.

That left Yang with nothing to do. She'd already gotten someone to spar with her, but couldn't find many other challengers after putting the boy through a wall. _One of the risks of training_, she assured herself. Really, the guy was lucky, considering the small lock of hair his bladed boomerang had claimed. She'd smeared an Ursa across the forest in Initiation for far less.

Since then, she'd eaten dinner, watched a few videos online, played a game, and even…even done her homework early. That last detail sent a shiver through her spine. _Nooo! I'm turning into a nerd! Must…find…entertainment._

Yang's scroll suddenly lit up with an alert. Desperate for a distraction, Yang lunged for the device, nearly launching it across the room before her fingers managed to halt its flight. "Hm, what's this?" she asked aloud. When no one answered, she quickly opened the video. Yang watched with interest as an image of Beacon faded into view on her scroll. The familiar voice of Team LHSR's faunus, accompanied by soft background music, began to speak.

"Beacon Academy. Aspiring Huntsmen and Huntresses from all over Remnant have gathered here to prepare for their futures." Images of several teams in full combat attire drifted by. Even shots from the training rooms briefly graced the screen. "But there's more to life than just fighting."

The combat images faded quickly, only to be replaced by photos from the dance. Team JNPR's dance. Blake, Sun, and Neptune laughing around the punch bowl. Yang greeting a couple at the entrance. Even the photo of Lilly and Smit on the dance floor. Yang chuckled at how mad Lilly would be when she saw _that_.

"Sadly, hunting for a date can be much harder than tracking down a Grimm." Yang found herself nodding along to Randi's voice. She hadn't been on a date since Signal. _Even longer since I've had a good one._ "So let Beacons of Love do the work for you! Simply create a profile, answer a short questionnaire, and leave the rest to us. We'll match you with an appropriate partner for a blind date in Vale, away from the prying eyes of your nosy teammates. Our team has already helped others find romance, so why not you?"

As proof of Randi's claim, the video cut to Smit and Lilly. Smit had his arm around Lilly's waist and grinned goofily at the camera. Lilly, on the other hand, seemed less than pleased with being featured. "I hate you so much, Randi," Lilly growled, even if she didn't seem to protest when Smit squeezed her against his side.

The next clip proved far more convincing. "We couldn't be happier," Pyrrha giggled before leaning over to kiss Jaune's cheek. The blonde dope started laughing as redness flooded his face. Much more accustomed to commercials, Pyrrha kept her composure as she turned to the camera again, fingers interlocking with Jaune's. "Randi and Honey helped us find happiness together. They can do the same for you."

"Beacons of Love is free to use, so what have you got to lose?" Randi's voice questioned. "Sign up now, and we'll even include a ten percent discount from Clemens, a premier restaurant in Vale." Yang had heard of the place. A little pricey, but not outrageously so. The local reviews had been fantastic since it opened last year. "Download Beacons of Love and start your happily ever after."

The video ended with a simple shot of Beacon Tower against a blank background. A soft beam of light rotated out from the tower before slowing to a stop to reveal a large, pink heart and turning Beacon's most prominent point into a cheesy lighthouse. The image remained frozen in place for a few seconds before an overlay appeared to suggest more videos. Yang ignored the urge to check out the latest Combat Class bloopers as the wheels in her head began to turn rapidly. Her eyes hungrily darted to the empty mattresses in the room as a mischievous smile began to take over.

_Those three could use some more socializing,_ she reasoned, even as she began downloading the new app. It took a few minutes to install, but that just gave her time to flesh out her plan. Her fingers soon danced across the screen as she began creating a profile – notably, one that didn't sport her name. By the time she reached the questionnaire, she didn't even both suppressing her growing cackle. Today had suddenly become _very_ interesting.

Very interesting, indeed.

* * *

**Randi and Honey in charge of the shipping at Beacon? Prepare for antics to ensue. I have a few months' worth of chapters planned, but may add more if I think of any. There'll be a few running gags, but most of the chapters will be standalone content covering a single pairing/date. Planning to return to the Friday update schedule that In RWBY's Shadow followed last year, so stay tuned.**

**To those asking about a sequel for Team LHSR, I'm kind of on the fence about it. Had another review asking about it this past week. My wife keeps insisting I should. Not sure why you guys are so desperate to have me traumatize you again, but I'll think about it. Lilly's ongoing depression would play a big part, which I'd think would be a bit of a downer, but to each their own. You guys suffered through In RWBY's Shadow and seemed to like it, so maybe you're just gluttons for punishment. Feel free to let me know whether that'd really interest you. Guarantee it won't happen anytime soon (next up is my murder novel), but I might add it to the list.**

**By the way, big thank you to bookwyrm321 for her support. This story sort of came to life based on a conversation we had a few months back. I've said it before, but go check out her Legacies of Beacon if you have some time.**

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**No preview of what's to come here. Just a shameless plug to follow me on Twitter ( TGoose2012). I offer advice and post random stuff about my writing and life there.**


	2. Cool Jazz

**Been stuck in New Jersey all week for work. Finally heading home tomorrow. Really hate being away from home. Judging by the list of things my dog has destroyed in my absence, she's not to fond of it either.**

**Glad to see such a positive reception for last week's chapter. Really weird posting a second story. Already getting favs and reviews right out of the gate.**

**Anyways, this week's chapter features the first pairing arranged by Honey and Randi. The pairing is actually one I first saw in bookwyrm321's story, Legacies of Beacon. Really like the pairing and decided to lead with it. Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

"Lookin' fancy, Weiss-cream," Yang commented as Weiss carefully finished getting ready. "Who's the lucky fella?"

"Weiss is going on a date?" Ruby excitedly questioned, earning an eye roll from her slightly annoyed partner.

"If you must know, I have a meeting with a potential client of my father's company this evening," Weiss deigned to answer. "As heiress of the SDC, I am to meet with their representative and discuss the preliminaries of a business agreement."

"So, a fun-filled evening with a mysterious stranger, eh?"

"Nothing of the sort," Weiss growled back as she adjusted her tiara and did a final inspection in the mirror. A Schnee must exude perfection, after all. "Just some boring dinner at some overly pompous restaurant all designed to somehow impress me. An hour of small talk, poorly veiled comments about some single male relative around my age, and then a short lecture on how some tiny little shop can somehow vastly improve the successfulness of the largest dust company on Remnant." Weiss's tone made it clear this wasn't the first time she'd endured such pathetic attempts to impress her.

"Lame," Yang summarized. "You sure you're not just sayin' that to throw us off? Methinks the lady is single and ready to mingle."

"I'm hardly one of those idiots signing up for that Beacons of Love tripe."

"You don't approve of Randi's idea?"

"Quite the contrary," Weiss corrected, gently brushing out some microscopic wrinkle in her dress. "Randi and Honey have found a host of pathetic losers in need of their services. As a woman of business, I can wholeheartedly respect their ability to capitalize on the failings of our fellow students. However, you won't find _me_ among their clientele."

"Wow, harsh Ice Queen," Yang replied. "Well, I for one think it's great that they're helping others find love. Other than Arkos and Smilly," The rest of Team RWBY shuddered at Yang's insistence on naming couples, "the dating scene's pretty lame around here. Heck, even Blake's been on more dates than the rest of us."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blake flatly asked.

"You and Sun!" Yang answered. "You two have already been on three dates. Most of us can't even claim one."

"Neptune and I spent time together at the dance," Weiss fondly recalled.

"And haven't so much as spoken since," Yang quickly pointed out. "Besides, he didn't even talk to you for most of the night. I think that only counts as half a date, at most."

Before Weiss could argue the point, Blake interjected once more. "Three dates? Did I miss something?"

"Well, you two went to the dance."

"True," Blake conceded, holding up a single finger to keep count.

"Before that, he went to that rally in town with you."

"Yang, I hardly think infiltrating a White Fang recruitment rally counts as a date." Notably, Blake's counter remained at one.

"Whatever. The two of you were at a social gathering late at night…alone. Sounds like a date to me." Blake seemed less than impressed at Yang's logic, still waiting for the third example. "And let's not forget the docks."

"Again, investigating terrorists doesn't count."

"And what about getting drinks at a local diner beforehand, hm?" Yang grinned cheesily as Blake stammered a denial, then reached over and raised a second finger for Blake. "Plus, don't think I don't know about your little rendezvous last night."

"What are you talking about?" Blake asked, a little faster than necessary. "I went shopping last night."

"Yeah, and just happened to run into monkey boy along the way."

"How do you…" Blake's mind raced, trying to determine the source of Yang's surprisingly accurate knowledge. "Lilly!"

"Sorry!" a muffled voice returned from the next room.

"We just happened to bump into each other at our…_my_ favorite diner. He and Neptune asked to join me. Afterwards, Sun offered to pay for our drinks." It slowly dawned on Blake how much that sounded like a date.

"Sounds like a very happy _coincidence_," Yang chuckled.

"Either that, or I've got a stalker." Considering some of the encounters they'd had with Sun, she almost believed it true. "Then again, maybe I should be more worried about the stalker on my team…"

"You wish," Yang cackled, before noticing Weiss's poor attempt to slip away unnoticed. "Hey, Weiss-cream, I'd better see some pictures of your hot date later."

"Blake, please control your brain damaged partner," Weiss groaned. "I'll be back in a few hours. And no using Lilly to spy on me!" Weiss punctuated the last command by slamming the door behind her.

After a few seconds, Ruby looked to Yang with a burning question. "You really think she's going on a date?"

"Absolutely," Yang smiled, fishing out her scroll and quietly opening her newest app. The "Weiss-cream" profile loaded immediately, having used it yesterday to arrange Weiss's "business meeting." Using the built-in messenger function, she let her teammate's date know she'd be there soon – or, rather, the real Weiss would be. Yang silently wished she could be a fly on that wall.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Weiss could admit to being pleasantly surprised by the choice of venue. Clemens was nice, but didn't feel as stuffy as the restaurants her father typically frequented for business. Rather than a room full of snooty, old, rich people glaring at her for nothing more than being more prominent than them by birth, she enjoyed the relaxed mixture of young couples and families. The live music was simple and tasteful. Cutlery and dishes clinked as the patrons focused on enjoying their evening rather than competing to see who had the best manners. The hum of conversations and muffled laughter made it feel far more friendly than she'd anticipated.

A young man in a simplistic suit greeted her warmly as she entered. "G-good evening, Miss Schnee," he stuttered, likely a little awestruck at meeting her. "Welcome to Clemens. We're honored to have you dining with us tonight. May I cake your toat?" Weiss giggled as the host stumbled over his words. "Take your coat! May I take your coat?"

"Thank you, but I'll be fine," Weiss answered, doing her best to give him a comforting smile. His face had already turned several shades of red. His hands shook nervously, practically fanning himself with the pair of menus he desperately clutched. Weiss figured that, for his own sanity, she should hasten their encounter along. "Has my counterpart arrived yet?"

"I don't believe so. If you'd like, I can show you to your table."

"Thank you. That would be lovely."

The host led them along the outskirts of the dining area, drawing several sets of eyes at the new arrival. Already, Weiss could hear a few mentioning her name in hushed whispers. Thankfully, her table turned out to be within a private area off to the side. She could still see some of the other diners, but most soon returned to their meal as she awaited the arrival of her fellow business representative. The host pulled out her chair for her and deposited the menus, then promised the waitress would be by momentarily. He nearly tripped over the single step leading out of the secluded dining platform, but recovered at the last second before hastily rushing away to safety.

Rather than be annoyed by the display, Weiss took comfort that this place clearly wasn't frequented by the high society jerks she was used to dining with. She clearly stood out from their usual customers. _Father would despise dining here. This place obviously isn't fit for a Schnee._ Jacques's disapproval only served to endear the place more to her.

She still had several minutes before their appointment. The menu proved just as welcoming as she'd hoped. Foods were described with their _actual_ names. No fancy renaming of dishes. No creative descriptions to make baked chicken sound like a delicacy. She even smiled at seeing such things as chicken nuggets and mac 'n cheese listed…and not just in the kids' menu! Sadly, she knew she couldn't order something like _that_ in public. The media would have a field day if Weiss Schnee was caught eating finger food. She quickly located one of their fancier options – lamb skewers with mint sauce. She'd let her associate squirm over whether to order wine with the meal. Watching some overstuffed windbag fret over such details was her one solace in these meetings.

The soft melody from earlier finally concluded, only to quickly be replaced by a simple rendition of Path to Isolation. The idea that this small ensemble would choose to play one of _her_ songs struck her as audacious, but they quickly proved more than capable as the opening bars gently caressed the dining area. Weiss soon found herself leaning back in her chair, eyes closed as she quietly hummed along.

"Weiss Schnee, as I live and breathe." Weiss sat up quickly, eyes locking onto the young man who'd addressed her. "They never told me I'd be dining with the heiress of the SDC tonight."

_So this is the representative they sent? _He looked nothing like she'd expected. The darker-skinned boy seemed around her age. His outfit was far more relaxed than most people would wear to a business meeting, though she could admit he looked good in his blue-trimmed fedora and untied necktie. The plain, white shirt peeking out from his black vest hung open at the top, while the long sleeves were rolled neatly above his elbows. The strange mix of formal and casual was oddly appealing.

"Name's Flynt, by the way," he grinned, flashing a bright, confident smile as he set a small case down beside him. "Flynt Coal."

"A pleasure," Weiss replied. Honestly, he seemed a far better option than the men she normally had to entertain on behalf of the SDC.

Their waitress – a young woman who couldn't be very far into her twenties – nervously approached and introduced herself as Jade before asking if they were ready to order. "I'm good. What about you, Schnee?"

"I am ready as well." Weiss bristled slightly at the casual use of her last name. The way he said it had sounded so dismissive to her, but she calmed herself down, giving him the benefit of the doubt for now. "I'll have the lamb skewers with mint sauce, if you please."

"Anything to drink, ma'am?"

"Water will be fine."

"And for the gentleman?" the waitress asked, turning to Flynt.

"Hm…" Flynt eyed the menu for a minute, then turned to their server. "Jade, was it?" Jade nodded in acknowledgement. "This is my first time at Clemens. Tell me. What do _you_ recommend?"

Jade paused for a moment, studying the boy as if she could somehow determine his personal taste off nothing more than his looks. Flynt sat calmly through it all. "We just got a fresh order of salmon in this morning. The chef does an excellent salmon steak. It's actually the first thing I ever ordered here after I got hired."

"Then salmon it is," Flynt smiled, offering his menu to Jade. "Haven't had seafood in a while."

"You won't be disappointed," Jade promised. "Water for you, as well?"

"I'll take a sweet tea, actually." Jade nodded along to the order before rushing off to the kitchen. "So, I never thought I'd be paired up with someone like you."

_Normally, you wouldn't._ Father always preferred to send one of the company's numerous lawyers, but the short notice of this meeting didn't leave time to send one. Instead, with Weiss already in the area, it only made sense for her to come. She'd been trained for such eventualities, of course.

"I understand, but I felt your request warranted a more personal touch." _Always turn a negative into a positive._ Rather than admit this was merely out of necessity, letting a potential business partner believe they were important enough to earn a direct meeting with the future head of the SDC would make them more willing to make concessions later. "After all, we _both_ stand to benefit from a successful agreement."

"Is that so?" Flynt said, a note of doubt in his voice. "I didn't realize you would normally send one of your butlers to handle this kind of stuff. Guess it makes sense though. Why bother, when you can just flash some lien and call it a day?"

Weiss bristled at the poorly veiled swipe at her family, but did her best to rein in her emotions. "Now then, shall we discuss the specifics of your offer?"

"My _offer_? Man, you rich people are somethin' else." Flynt leaned his chair back with a soft laugh.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Weiss kept her hands beneath the table, concealing how tightly her fists were balled.

"Listen to yourself! You're talkin' about this like it's just some sort of transaction. Maybe take a sec and enjoy the evening before we start drawin' up contracts."

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Weiss could feel the anger boiling up inside of her, but did her best to keep things professional. Even so, she couldn't resist making it clear who had the upper hand here. "My time is _very_ valuable. I'd rather focus on the matter of business, as I'll need to submit a report later this evening."

Jacques always enjoyed flexing his power in such ways – putting people down by reminding them who the more prominent person was. Weiss hated emulating him in any way, but couldn't deny the small satisfaction it brought.

"All business, eh?"

"I apologize if you expected anything else," Weiss hedged. "Should your proposal be accepted–"

"Proposal?!" Flynt nearly fell out of his seat at the word. "Ain't you movin' a little quick there, heiress?"

"Are you saying you do _not_ have plans to purchase dust from the SDC?"

"Dust, huh?" Flynt recovered, though his smile seemed just a touch too friendly at the moment. "My father used to own a little dust shop back in the day."

"Your family no longer runs a dust business?" _Then why bother dragging me out here?_ Surely he hadn't planned to waste her time. She already hated being forced into these types of meetings – a ploy be her father to ensure she stayed focused on _his_ aspirations rather than her own.

"Not since your father's company ran him out of business." Flynt's smile vanished, along with Weiss's patience.

"So, what, you thought you'd waste my time this evening to get some sort of revenge?" Father would never approve of her going on the offensive – that was his job – but she'd had enough of this buffoon's games.

"Nah, I'll save that for the Tournament," Flynt commented, grabbing the case he'd brought with him as he rose. "Ya know what? I think we're done here. Thanks for nothin', Schnee. Guess I shoulda known you'd be as worthless as your dad."

"How _dare_ you!" Weiss screamed back, cutting him off before he could leave. "I did not come out tonight to be lectured by some petulant little brat!" Of all the things Weiss couldn't stand, being compared to her father so flippantly always set her off. Weiss's hand shot out before she could stop herself, striking Flynt across the face. He stumbled back a step, slowly raising his own hand to his cheek.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" Flynt asked, setting his case down on the table.

"You're not leaving here until you apologize," Weiss seethed, standing her ground.

"Is that so?" Flynt watched her carefully, judging whether she really intended to back those words up. What he did next surprised her. "How 'bout I play you a little song? Maybe that'll show you how _sorry_ I am."

Before Weiss could ask what he meant, Flynt produced a silvery trumpet from his strange case and raised it to his lips with a smirk. The first note blared angrily at her, but she didn't expect it to throw her back into a recently vacated table.

_He…he's armed?_ The situation had spun out of control. Every eye in the room was now fixated on the two, unsure of what would come next. A family near the entrance quickly ushered their children back out the door as Flynt lowered his weaponized instrument and tipped his hat to her. "Send my regards to the old man, Schnee," he laughed, calmly strutting away.

A glass smashed into the back of his head, shattering and spilling wine down his back. Aura prevented any real damage, but Weiss's surprise barrage made it clear she wasn't finished.

"Want me to play for you that bad? You sure are desperate, Schnee."

"Stop _calling_ me that!" Weiss demanded, eyes quickly scanning for something to fight back with. "My name is Weiss, and I'm still waiting for that apology."

"Have it your way." Flynt's next note rippled through the air as Weiss dove behind the table, knocking it over for protection. Unfortunately, it also rained down the table's contents on her. _I'll kill him for this!_ Weiss vowed as she wiped gravy from her face. Sadly, there wasn't time to worry about the mixture of soup and wine that ran down her back, ruining her new dress in an instant.

Her barricade withstood the continued barrage from Flynt, but Weiss could feel the table pushing against her, meaning she wouldn't be able to stay hidden forever. She waited until he paused for a breath, grateful that he hadn't mastered circular breathing.

In the brief gap of his attack, she dove out from the table, hurling anything she could get her hands on. Wine glasses. Cutlery. A plate of food. All became weapons as Weiss recalled her training in the cafeteria at the start of the semester. Sadly, the restaurant seemed fresh out of whole swordfish.

Their strange dance continued back towards their table and the seclusion of the reserved seating. Weiss did her best to stay behind cover, throwing whatever she could find in retaliation. _Need to keep it all away from the customers._ Thankfully, their private table was far enough away from everything else to serve her purpose.

Flynt ducked, just in time to avoid the pair of steak knives that lodged in the wall behind him. Weiss charged forward, wielding a bus tub as a battering ram. Flynt planted himself once more and unleashed another melodic blast. Weiss's new shield groaned against her arms as she fought forward, struggling with each step to close the gap. The moment she felt his attack lessen, she lunged forward, finally revealing her concealed weapon – a large breadstick. Her aim proved true as she crammed the thing into the trumpet's bell, plugging the infernal instrument before he could attack again. Using her momentum, she tackled the brazen imbecile to the ground. Flynt tried to push her off, but she slapped his hand away, snatching a new weapon from the floor to bludgeon him with.

The wicker basket bounced harmlessly off his face. Both of them froze, suddenly recognizing the absurdity of their position.

"What on Remnant–"

The older gentleman from the kitchen never finished his exclamation as an excited clapping cut him off. A small boy – no older than seven, if Weiss had to guess – applauded their performance with a burst of laughter. His young sister bounced in her high chair, giggling along. Soon, a few others picked up the clap. One by one, the patrons joined in, blindly congratulating the "performance."

"Bread in my bell?" Flynt chuckled from below.

"It was the best I could come up with, okay?" Weiss complained. Considering he'd come fully armed and she'd had nothing but what she could find to fight back with, Weiss felt she deserved a _little_ understanding. "What was I supposed to do? Stab you with a flute?" One of the nearby musicians quietly tucked her instrument behind her before Weiss could try.

"Nah, it wasn't a bad plan. I can dig it."

Weiss felt a pair of arms quickly lift her off the boy. The gentleman from earlier wore a painfully fake smile as he softly waved to his customers, steering them both away from the public and into the kitchen. Once the doors swung shut behind them, he finally dropped the cheery façade.

"Never, in all my years, have I ever seen such recklessness in my diner!" the man lectured, pointing back at the doors they'd come through. "When that wolf girl approached me about featuring Clemens on her dating site, I didn't realize she planned to destroy my business."

"Wait, dating site?" Weiss asked. Things finally began to click in her mind as she realized who the at-fault faunus had to be.

"Yes! I thought it would be a great chance to promote my business, but I never knew you Huntsmen would brawl like that! I just wanted to show how romantic Clemens could be." The host from earlier slipped in and pulled the man aside for a hushed conversation.

"This wasn't a business meeting?" Weiss questioned, looking to Flynt.

"Is _that_ what you thought?" Flynt replied in bewilderment. "Why would I set up a business meeting through a dating app?"

"But I never signed up for…dang it, Yang!" Her teammate would pay dearly for her prank.

"Heh. So you were really serious about all that contract stuff?"

"I thought I was meeting someone who wanted to do business with the SDC," Weiss tried to explain.

"Sorry to disappoint. We got matched up on that Beacons of Love app. Figured I'd give it a whirl. Couldn't hurt…or, well, I didn't think it would." Flynt scratched at the spot Weiss had slapped earlier.

"Sorry about that," Weiss apologized, suddenly embarrassed at how she'd acted. "I'll take care of the mess here. My family has more insurance than we know what to do with."

Being such a prominent figure demanded such. You never knew when someone would make an attempt on one of them, after all. Sure, it was almost never their fault, but you could hardly expect the White Fang to pay for the damages. Besides, covering such costs made them look generous and helped ensure people were willing to accept the risk of doing business with the primary targets of the biggest terrorist organization on Remnant. Compared to some of their prior problems, paying for the damages to this diner would be insignificant.

The older gentleman, who Weiss had to assume was the owner at this point, approached them yet again, though he seemed a little less angry than before. "It seems my customers believed your display some sort of planned entertainment." More likely, they refused to believe what they'd just witnessed and latched onto any other reasonable explanation. "However, there's still the matter of the damages you two caused."

"Of course," Weiss admitted, producing a small business card she always carried with her. "If you'll contact that number, I'm sure our legal team will be happy to reimburse you. I'll reach out to them personally to ensure the matter is handled discreetly." In other words, if he didn't make a fuss, he'd get full compensation and probably a little more, just to ensure his silence. No doubt, they'd be drafting NDAs within the hour. "On behalf of the Schnee family, I apologize for how we behaved at your fine establishment."

"And if you like, I'd be happy to discuss performing here every now and then," Flynt offered. The owner's eyes widened in fright before Flynt added, "With a normal trumpet, of course. Been playin' since I was a kid. I can send you a demo if you want."

"I'll consider it," the owner said, likely more interested in Weiss's offer than his. "Now, I have a restaurant full of paying customers to attend to, so I'd appreciate–"

"Hold on a minute," Flynt interrupted. "We still haven't finished our date."

"What?"

"The young lady and I placed an order." Flynt flashed a brilliant smile, but Weiss couldn't believe he'd be so bold as to demand service after what they'd pulled. "If you don't mind, we'd like to enjoy the rest of our evening."

"Absolutely no–"

"Their food's already prepared," Jade offered from nearby, two steaming plates of food in her hands. "Seems a shame to let it go to waste." Weiss's mouth watered at the sight of the meal. Going back to Beacon on an empty stomach didn't exactly appeal to her right now. _She's getting a big tip._

"Plus, we'll be sure to tell everyone about the amazing food at Clemens," Weiss added, twisting the knife a little more. "I was sort of hoping to bring my team to Clemens in the near future."

Weiss could see the promise of future business working its magic already. Plus, all the attention a restaurant would get from her repeat patronage wasn't something to dismiss so easily. If the place was good enough for Weiss Schnee, of all people, than others would be eager to check the place out. She watched the owner internally debate the pros and cons, but figured the result was inevitable.

Sure enough, the potential earnings won out in the end. "Fine. We will be happy to serve you. Morado," he waved the shy host over, "show the lovely couple to their table. Jade will be right behind you with their order." The owner turned back to them as his staff sprang into action. "Is there anything else I can assist you with this evening?"

"Thanks, but I think the young lady and I can take it from here," Flynt said. Just to be safe, Flynt slipped him some extra lien. The owner bowed graciously before slipping away to speak with the other customers –presumably to smooth things over after their impromptu performance. Flynt offered his arm to escort Weiss back to their table. "You okay tryin' this again?"

"I'll allow it," Weiss answered, hooking her arm though his as they followed Morado back to their table, which he quickly prepared for them. Weiss didn't miss the lien Flynt disguised in a handshake before he offered a chair to Weiss. Nor did she fail to spot the fresh flowers Jade set on the table, the bottle of cordial left behind for them, or Jade's obvious wink. The small orchestra once again started playing – a soft, slow melody that Weiss hadn't heard before. Flynt grinned as he leaned around the candles flanking their flowers, filling her glass with cordial before doing the same for his own.

Maybe this evening wouldn't be so bad after all.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"How was your date, Weiss?" Yang asked the moment Weiss returned to their room.

"You!" Weiss growled back. "You set me up!"

"Guilty." Yang didn't even bother to deny the charge.

"What?" Ruby asked. "What do you mean she set you up? I thought you were going to a business meeting."

"Your idiot sister signed me up for that Beacons of Love thing. Turns out, the guy I was meeting thought it was a date."

"Yeah, but you know you had fun," Yang laughed, not at all ashamed of her antics.

"I thought I told you not to spy on me," Weiss reminded them before turning to their shared wall with Team LHSR. "And stop helping her, Lilly!"

"What did _I_ do?" came the muffled reply.

"Cool it, Ice Queen." Weiss bristled at the hated moniker. "I didn't need Lilly's help this time. Just had to read the news." So saying, Yang tossed her scroll at Weiss.

Weiss caught the small device easily, glaring at Yang before studying the small display. She nearly crushed the thing as she eyed the photo of her cramming a breadstick in Flynt's trumpet. _Crap! I didn't realize anyone took pictures._ With how common scrolls had become, she shouldn't have been surprised.

The story was from some restaurant critic, who had been at Clemens that evening. The beginning discussed the atmosphere of the place with far too many flowery words, then complimented the food while noting a few things he'd like to see different. But the final section had to do with the live "entertainment" of the evening.

_As pleasant as the music of the evening proved, the highlight came in the unexpected performance of two Huntsmen students. Their humorous spar combined musical aptitude with the childish joy of a food fight. With the Tournament postponed for now, it seems Clemens was keen to capitalize on the lack of Huntsmen demonstrations, though their take on fighting proved far less dangerous and served to highlight the forward thinking of this fine establishment. It is my hope that Clemens will continue to surprise us all, both with their unorthodox entertainment and the fine service one would expect at a much higher cost._

Weiss was grateful they hadn't mentioned her by name, though the picture would give her away instantly. _Guess the customers really did fall for it._ The whole thing seemed silly now, especially considering how much she'd enjoyed the rest of the evening.

"Guess you two really _hit_ it off," Yang cackled as Weiss failed to hide the blush creeping onto her face.

"Shut it, Yang," she growled back.

"C'mon, Weiss. It's all over your face…and your dress." Weiss stomped her foot angrily at the reminder of her ruined outfit. "Admit it, you had fun tonight." Weiss refused to admit such, even if it _was_ true. "So, when you gonna see him again?"

"That's none of your business."

"Oh, so you _did_ plan a second date." _Dang it, Yang!_ "C'mon, you can tell us. Otherwise, I'll just hunt this guy down and ask him myself."

Weiss dreaded to imagine what _that_ would entail. Embarrassing stories. Horrible ideas of how to impress her. The risk was too great. "Friday," she mumbled quietly.

"What was that?"

"Friday! We're going to see each other again on Friday! There, are you happy now?"

"More than you know," Yang chuckled, silently congratulating herself on her success. So absorbed in her triumph, she failed to notice Blake correcting her profile on _her_ newly-downloaded copy of the app.

* * *

**Another success story for Beacons of Love. Honestly, prefer Flynt with Weiss over Neptune. Neptune's fun and all, but we never see any meaningful interactions between the two. I think the whole enemy-to-lover angle could be more interesting. Plus, Flynt just seems like such a fun character. Now, excuse me while I go hide from the angry shippers out for my head.**

**Really curious if there's any specific part of a chapter that you enjoyed most. Last week, my wife loved the _Lillyisabutt_ password, but mainly because a close friend of ours did something like that with my name in college after I messed with her computer...then forgot what she changed it to. Had to get my help resetting it. I think I'll reveal my favorite in each following chapter, in case anyone's interested. Don't want to bias your choices, after all.**

**Well, that's all for now. Not much from Team LHSR this week, but we'll see more of them in the next chapter. Plenty more stupidity to come.**


	3. Beauty and the Beast

**Doomed to another trip to Jersey next week. Extra hours and pay is nice, but I would've liked some more time at home before heading back. Also managed to chip a tooth yesterday. What a fun week!**

**Didn't have a lot of time to write this week, so I ended up finishing this morning and doing a quick proofread. Much easier to edit than In RWBY's Shadow, thankfully. Can definitely see why people usually stick to the shorter chapter lengths.**

**Also had a request from Je'daii1298 to review his OC story. Sent him a message with my detailed review. Definitely some promising moments in the plot. Hoping to see the story continue. Would love if some of you guys could find the time to take a look at it and offer some constructive feedback. I've been blessed with some of the best readers on here, but it's important to encourage fellow authors. Feel free to let him know who sent you.**

* * *

Business was booming. Maybe a little _too_ booming.

"Another system crash this morning," Randi lamented as she checked on her overtaxed site. Such was becoming a regular annoyance.

"Don't sweat it." Coco never seemed overly phased by the early struggles. Randi was just glad she and Velvet had offered to help with tech support. Setting up the server in CFVY's room also meant added security against a certain team leader's sabotage attempts. The normally quiet faunus member of Team CFVY nearly knocked Randi out of her seat before she began busily typing away, running some diagnostic tool while she reviewed the traffic data. "Velvet's got ya covered. Besides, being too popular is a good thing. Trust me."

Coco _did_ seem like an expert on such matters.

"I thought we were prepared for this, though." Velvet had assured her countless times that they could handle it, spouting off statistics on data rates and other stuff that flew over Randi's head. "You told me there weren't enough students to overload it."

"There shouldn't be," Velvet mumbled to herself, scanning through the results of her scans. It all looked like gibberish to Randi, but she still watched curiously. Something caught Velvet's eye, causing her to pause, then flipping through some notes she'd made before their launch. "So…I think I found our problem," Velvet grinned sheepishly. "Remember how we sent out your ad to the entire school?"

"Yeah…" Randi wasn't sure where she was going, but it didn't sound good.

"Well…we may have made a _tiny_ mistake."

"What kind of mistake?"

Velvet ducked her head in embarrassment before admitting, "It _may_ have accidentally gone out to all of Vale…"

"What?!" Lilly's voice thundered, despite being on a completely different floor than the second-year dorm room. Randi winced, aware that returning to her room would not be a joyful experience.

"That would do it," Coco commented, nodding her head in thought. "Most civvies would kill for a chance with one of us. Heck, no rule against Huntsmen and civvies hookin' up. Happens all the time. Just means a bigger target audience."

"A _much_ bigger one," Velvet sighed. "More than three quarters of your members aren't students."

Randi pinched the bridge of her nose as she realized how much work that would mean for her and Honey. Comparing profiles and questionnaires for the hundred or so students she expected to sign up would already be taxing enough. She knew a good deal of her fellow Beaconites, and could get extra information from other students when needed. Now, she had to contend with the masses of random people in Vale. With the influx of tourists and a delay in the Tournament, she had a feeling things were about to get extremely hectic.

"How am I supposed to keep up with all of that?" Randi wondered aloud.

"Maybe you don't have to." Velvet's quiet suggestion captured Randi's full attention. "W-what if we expanded the messaging feature a bit? We could set up an algorithm to match people based on certain criteria and establish a personal chat between the two. That way, you can focus on setting up specific dates while others take care of most of the legwork themselves."

"Online dating _has_ become rather prevalent recently," Yatshuhashi offered over his shoulder as he continued sharpening his colossal blade.

_Online dating?_ Randi didn't really see the appeal, but then again, her dating life was pretty much non-existent. _It would alleviate a lot of the burden on us._ Arranging a date was more than just picking two names out of a hat. She and Honey carefully analyzed the responses they received, took the time to determine what traits or interests would pair well together, and contacted both parties. Then, they had to coordinate schedules, decide a venue, set up a reservation, verify with everyone, and follow-up on any feedback.

_Plus, some people prefer to interact before going on a date._ Randi jumped at the strangely masculine voice in her head before remembering Fox's Semblance. _Not everyone likes blind dates._

"Is that why you're still single?" Coco laughed, dodging the textbook Fox threw at her head for the awful joke. "Not a bad idea, though. Sorta lets them do your job for you, but you still get the credit."

Randi _had_ noticed a rather odd ratio of profiles to questionnaires. A lot of people seemed interested in getting out there, but not many were willing to commit by answering a few, simple questions. _Maybe they just need a way to ease into it._

"Alright, let's do it." If it helped a few more people find love, then surely it'd be worth trying. She'd have to trust Coco and Velvet to implement the necessary changes, both because she had no idea how to do it herself and her meeting in the afternoon with another member of Team RWBY. They could deal with the update and managing the explosion of users outside of the school without her.

_After all, what's the worst that could happen?_

/- - - - - - - - - -/

High above the city of Vale, two rather bored soldiers stood alone. Hopkins glanced around for the thousandth time, but found the empty hall unchanged. A quick glance at his scroll proved disappointing. _Still three hours to go_. When Ironwood informed him of his reassignment to the general's battleship, he'd assumed some awesome post on the bridge – the type of thing that fast-tracked a career. Instead, he'd wound up stuck on guard duty. Considering the complex security measures of the brig, on top of the fact that they were floating hundreds of feet above the ground surrounded by some of the most devastating weaponry available, he failed to see how two soldiers standing outside a door for hours on end made much of a difference. _If someone managed to get this far, I'm probably screwed._

Still, orders were orders. Part of him wished Simmons was still around. He was kind of a nerd, but at least they could chat and pass the time. Another part of him ashamedly preferred his new partner…or, at least, the potential of their partnership. Hopkins still couldn't get a read on her, though. He'd tried striking up a conversation too many times to count, but she ignored every attempt. She struck him as one of those overly serious types. Every shift, she arrived early, took her post, and didn't so much as move until their relief arrived. Suddenly, she'd break her rigid stance, wave at him with an overly friendly smile that had his heart racing, then skip away to freedom.

Hopkins was no stranger to being ignored by pretty women, but never to this degree. Still, he soldiered on, hoping to one day break through to the shorter, dark-haired girl. Admittedly, he hoped to become more than just work friends. It wasn't every day you got partnered with a babe like her. Unfortunately, he'd never been able to find her after their shift to ask if she wanted to hang out. The friendly hints during their shift went unheeded, as well. He'd need to be a little more direct if he wanted a shot.

"So, you ever been to Vale before?"

As always, she didn't even turn at his question. _Don't give up. Keep trying._

"Me neither. Food around here's pretty good, though. Heard this one place, Clemens, is really nice." Still, no answer. "Plus, I got a discount from this Beacons of Love thing. Supposed to be some sort of Huntsmen dating app, but it's open to everyone. You get a coupon just for signing up." His silent partner remained…well, silent. "Maybe you and I could, you know, check it out after our shift? I'll buy," he hastily added, hoping the offer of free, quality food would convince her.

The only response he received was the muffled laughter coming from the cell they were guarding. _Cut me some slack, man. I'm really trying here._

"I know we're on duty and everything, but there's no harm in chatting a bit." Hopkins could feel his annoyance getting the better of him as his statue of a partner proved unyielding. "Look, I'll just come out and say it." Hopkins took a deep breath, knowing his next words could either doom him or make his dreams come true. "You're _really_ pretty. Any guy would be lucky to be with you. Heck, I'd do just about anything to take you to dinner. So, would you go out with me?" Hopkins winced in anticipation of a denial, knowing this woman was so far out of his league, it wasn't even funny.

Which made her lack of response all the more infuriating.

"Hey, did you hear me?" Silence. "At least give me an answer," he pleaded. Being told no would hurt less than being blown off entirely. He reached out to touch her arm, hoping to end her stonewalling. "I said, do you want to go ou–"

With no one else in the brig, no one could prove Hopkins squealed like a girl. To be fair, seeing a girl shatter into a million pieces was pretty startling.

"Ohmygosh! Are you okay?" He felt kind of stupid for asking, but his mind was still trying to grasp what had just happened. "Don't move! I'll get help! You're going to be okay." He wasn't sure how, but his panicked mind refused to believe his chances had literally shattered so quickly. Frantically, he yanked his small radio free from his belt. "Medical emergency. Send he–"

Hopkins doubled over as his miraculously-recovered partner drove her knee into his gut, slapping the radio away contemptuously. She smiled viciously down at him with mismatched eyes. Through the pain, his brain unhelpfully informed him that she'd finally noticed him.

"So," he choked out, "is that a no on dinner?"

Her answer came in the form of a kick to the back of his head. Hopkins crumbled, his dreams of a date sinking into the dark recesses of unconsciousness.

Neo carefully stepped over his downed form, turning when she heard a voice from the radio frantically asking for information. Knowing she was now on the clock, Neo quickly unlocked Torchwick's cell, producing _Melodic Cudgel_ and his signature bowler hat as Roman strutted out of the cramped space.

"It feels _good_ to get outta there," Torchwick announced as he cracked his neck to the side. "Admittedly, a little early. I usually prefer to make an entrance, but beggars can't be choosers." Glancing at the downed form of his guard, he couldn't help but add, "Men just can't help falling for you, can they?"

Neo shook her head in pity at the desperate man, silently tutting his failure.

"Well, don't let me keep you two lovebirds from your date," Torchwick chuckled, walking away. "Just, be a dear and drop me off on the way. Oh, and Hopkins, was it?" The unfortunate man didn't respond. "Try and have her home before midnight. We've got a lot of work to do, after all."

Neo skipped along to the blaring alarms, following Torchwick toward their exit.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"We normally handle this part ourselves," Randi carefully explained to their potential customer. "Honey and I will set everything up for you. All you have to do is show up."

"I know. It's just…" Blake shifted uncomfortably in the chair Honey had pulled out for her as Beacon's most prominent matchmakers sat on the nearby mattresses. "I've not always had the best of luck when it comes to dating, okay? Putting myself back out there like this…I'm a little worried about getting involved with the wrong kind of guy again."

"Don't worry, Blake," Honey reassured their neighbor. "Randi and I are really careful in matching people. We'll do our best to find you someone good."

"What about you and Sun?" Randi unceremoniously went after the lingering question. "I thought the two of you were together." _Or, as Nora would say, together-together._ "Did something happen?"

"Not really," Blake replied. "Sun's great and all, but I don't want to jump at the first guy to show any interest. That's what happened with A–" Blake caught herself before she could finish her sentence, "what happened last time."

"Exploring your options first, huh?" Blake nodded along to Randi's assessment. "Fair enough. Well, I had to redo our analysis after you updated your profile. Your old answers were a little…odd." Randi barely caught Yang's name amidst whatever Blake grumbled in return. "Since you're wanting to play the field a bit, I'll keep all of the matches I find, but Honey thinks she found a good one already."

Honey excitedly pulled out a folder, opening it to review the single page of profile information for Blake's date. "He's not from Vale, but says he's traveled around a lot. Very involved in his community. Volunteers with a group promoting faunus equality." Blake's eyes narrowed at that detail. "Your profile doesn't list you as a faunus. We just thought you'd appreciate someone like that."

"Bit of an outdoorsman," Randi continued. "Says he loves tuna, drinking tea, _mature_ books," Randi raised an eyebrow at their customer, who was fighting a small blush, "and naps in the sun. Seems you and Altan have a lot in common."

"Really?"

"Yep." Randi took the folder from Honey, glancing over the various notes Honey had scribbled down. "In fact, he shares almost every interest you listed. Figured you'd have a lot to talk about."

Randi had been a little hesitant to agree to Honey's pairing, given the abnormally high number of similarities. Couples were meant to be different in some regards. Part of the thrill of a relationship came from discovering and embracing those differences. Trying new things. Exploring. Supporting one another's interests. You had to have _some_ common ground, but dating a mirror image of yourself sounded boring to Randi. Then again, their survey didn't cover _everything_, so maybe there would be more to the guy once Blake got to know him.

"I was thinking the two of you could meet this coming Saturday at Clemens. They've got a good selection of teas from around Remnant, and their seafood is pretty good." At least, according to Weiss. Finding out her date had fed her a bit of his own meal was either really cute or kinda cringy. Randi wasn't sure which. "Sound good?"

"What's he look like?" Blake asked, trying to peek over the folder. Realizing how shallow that sounded, Blake rushed to add, "Not that it's _that_ important. I mean, I'm sure he–"

"I get it," Randi assured her spiraling friend. "Looks aren't everything, but it's important to at least have _some_ level of attraction at the start." After all, if you found the guy repulsive, building a meaningful relationship probably wasn't going to be easy. "He looks pretty good, honestly. Dark hair. Decent clothes. Kind of an odd smile, but might just not take pictures well." It looked like the guy was trying _way_ too hard to look pleasant in his profile picture. Something about the picture unsettled Randi, but she figured she could give him a pass. Smiling for a camera could be difficult. Plenty of people overdid it, whereas their natural smile looked much better.

"Can I see?" Blake held her hand out for the folder, stopping well short to make it clear she wouldn't force the issue.

"Normally, we wouldn't…" Randi glanced to Honey first, but the small girl seemed okay with it. "But I guess we'll allow it. Just this once." Randi rotated the folder, quickly pointing out an obvious detail before Blake could look it over. "Must be a masquerade fan or something."

After all, who else would wear an eye mask in their profile pic?

Blake's eyes carefully zeroed in on the small photo. Something about it seemed surprising, so she pulled it a little closer, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Then, without warning, she threw the folder down before letting out a feral hiss and bolting for the door. The single page drifted out onto the floor, facedown as it hid its face in shame at the violent rejection. Both Honey and Randi sat in shocked silence for a few seconds, unsure what to make of the visceral reaction.

"Well…that was a thing," Randi finally managed as Honey scooped up the folder once more, carefully reinserting the information page for Altan Bullock. "Guess she really _is_ picky. Might be harder to find her a match than we thought. You okay?" Randi worried that Honey would take the rejection personally, considering she'd been the one to pick the guy out for Blake.

"It's fine," Honey assured her. "We can't win 'em all. We'll just have to try again." Honey quickly began breezing through profiles on her scroll. "I saw this guy a few minutes ago. Might be worth a shot."

Randi glanced at the page Honey had pulled up, but was pretty sure they'd be striking out again. This "guy" was clearly a girl. Then again, who was she to judge? Just because _she_ was only interested in guys didn't mean the same held true for everyone else. Still, Cam Eleon's answers seemed a little too similar to Altan's.

"Maybe we should keep looking," Randi hesitantly answered, just as Honey's scroll vibrated with a message from one of their users.

"When and where should I meet Blake?" Randi read quietly, finding it a little odd that Altan knew who he'd be matched with already. _Need to remind Honey not to get ahead of herself._ Despite their first failure, Randi vowed they'd keep trying, making it her personal mission to find a potential match for the skittish member of Team RWBY.

* * *

**Handling Blake was always bound to be dangerous in a matchmaker fic, seeing as how she has been shipped with practically anything that moves at some point or another. No matter what I choose, I'm pretty sure the shippers will be coming for my head. Figured I may as well have some fun along the way. This won't be the last time we'll see Blake, of course. Atlan is Turkish for "Red Dawn", versus the Hebrew Adam meaning "to be red." Similarity between Bullock and Taurus should be obvious. As for Cam Eleon...I'm pretty sure you can guess who that was. Surprisingly, Cam fits the color rule, as it is Vietnamese for orange. That wasn't on purpose, though.  
**

**Also needed to set some things in motion. Already planned to incorporate Torchwick at some point, but realized he'd still be stuck in Ironwood's battleship. Couldn't have that, so RWBY's best villain is back in action, baby. Still got a while until he comes into play, but figured this shorter chapter would be a good time to spring him. Despite my desire to keep each chapter as a standalone, I can't help weaving some things throughout.**

**As promised, my favorite moment last week was definitely "cake your toat." I mix up my words like that all the time, so it just came naturally. My wife preferred Flynt's reaction to the business "proposal" line. To each their own.**

**As always, would love to hear from you guys. Thrilled with the response so far, but what can I say? I'm greedy.**


	4. Cardi V

**Another longer chapter as I really can't help setting things in motion ahead of time. So much for standalone chapters.**

**Heading home from New Jersey tomorrow. Can't wait to get back. Gonna just collapse for the weekend. Had plenty of time to write, at least.**

* * *

_Winter is coming._

Weiss didn't know if she should feel elated or dejected as she read the message from Winter. On the one hand, getting to see Winter before the Tournament would be wonderful. Weiss basically idolized her elder sibling. Years ago, Winter had done what Weiss could only dream of doing – defying Father to pursue her own dreams. Winter's enlistment in the Atlas military had enraged Father to the point of nearly disowning his firstborn. He still blamed Ironwood for luring his daughter away from the SDC. That Winter could sacrifice her position in life and oppose Father so blatantly made her the bravest person Weiss knew. It also gave her hope that she could someday escape his control as well.

Weiss's joy at seeing her sister again was somewhat ruined by the mention of who was coming with her, though.

"What's the matter, Weiss?" Ruby asked, easily noticing her partner's mood. Normally, Weiss kept better control of her emotions, but she felt comfortable enough around her team to actually relax.

"Whitley is coming," Weiss complained.

"Who?"

"My brother." Her respect for Winter was only matched by her disdain for Whitley. He took too much after Father. His style. His false smile. His manipulation. That Whitley sided with Father against Winter had been the last straw for Weiss. "Father felt he should travel to Vale with Winter to experience the local culture." In reality, he was likely coming to spy on Weiss after her fiasco at Clemens. If nothing else, his presence would serve as a reminder of Father's watchfulness.

"Didn't know you had a brother," Yang commented. "He younger than you?"

"A little younger," Weiss answered, unsure of why that mattered. "I'll be expected to _entertain_ him while he is here." In other words, she'd be tethered to the little narc for the foreseeable future. _Guess I'll have to cancel with Flynt._ And she'd really been looking forward to meeting his team, even if their name made her cringe a little. The last thing she needed was for Whitley to inform Father of her new interest. With him lurking around though, she wouldn't have a moment alone with Flynt. "At least Winter will be here as well."

"You plannin' to introduce your new boy toy to them?" Yang asked, drawing a look of terror to Weiss's face.

"Absolutely not!" Weiss quickly shouted back before regaining her composure. "We have only begun seeing one another. It is _far_ too early to begin introducing him to my family." If all went according to plan, Father would never meet any interest of hers until her wedding day…not that she planned to have one of _those_ anytime soon.

"I dunno. Four dates sounds pretty official to me."

"We've only been on three dates, thank you very much," Weiss countered, realizing a moment too late she'd been played.

"Ha! I _knew_ you were meeting up with him last night!" Yang proudly boasted. Apparently, Weiss's claim of needing to meet with an SDC representative about the damages at Clemens had been less convincing than she'd hoped. "Ten lien, Ruby. Pay up."

"You two are betting on my dating life?" Weiss angrily demanded.

"Yang tricked me!" Ruby quickly threw her sister under the bus in a move that sounded far too rehearsed to Weiss. The fact that Ruby had apparently bet on trusting Weiss was the only thing that spared the short leader from Weiss's wrath.

"Well, it seems my _fourth_ date will be put on hold," Weiss lamented, pulling out her scroll to message Flynt. With the exchange students leaving after the Tournament, Weiss wasn't sure they'd get a chance to see each other again before the end of the school year. She only hoped he'd understand.

"Belay that," Yang instructed, evidently having learned a new word. _Maybe all that time with Lilly is finally paying off. Now, if only she could do something about the puns._ "What if we kept your brother busy?"

Weiss rolled her eyes at the ridiculous suggestion. "And just how do you plan to do that? You going to ask him out?"

"Not me…" Yang's eyes slowly drifted over to her sister, who needed only a second or two to realize what Yang had planned for her. "He's closer to your age, Rubes."

"Erk!" Ruby seized up at Yang's sudden about face on her dating anyone. "Wait. I can't…it wouldn't be right. Besides, a boy version of Weiss? Ew!"

"You gonna just take that from her?" Blake questioned.

"Trust me, the reality is _far_ worse," Weiss explained, not even bothered by her partner's incidental swipe at her. "Whitley is all business. Everything he does is for a reason. As much as he might enjoy getting close to one of my teammates," Ruby shuddered at the thought, "keeping tabs on me would be too tempting to ignore. A random date won't be enough to drag him away."

"Then we don't tell him it's a date," Yang shrugged, as if it was the most obvious answer on Remnant.

"I hardly think he'll b–"

"It worked on you," Yang unhelpfully reminded. "Unless you're saying this Whitley kid is smarter than Weiss Schnee…"

Weiss knew Yang was just manipulating her, but the point still stood. _If Whitley thought it was some important meeting, he might leave me alone for a few hours. Maybe I can still find time for Flynt after all._

"It'll need to be someone more convincing than Ruby, though," Weiss said, already latching onto the idea. "Sorry, Ruby, but you're not very good at lying."

"What? I can lie!" Ruby protested. "Watch!" Ruby did her best to calm down, then looked around the room. Her eyes settled on the cookie Blake had been quietly snacking on behind her book. "Blake, I do _not_ want that cookie you're eating. Nope. Not one bit. I absolutely don't want that…delicious…chocolatey…mmm."

"You're drooling," Weiss pointed out as Ruby slid a little closer to Blake, who quickly tossed a fresh cookie to the desperate girl. All of Team RWBY had learned long ago to always have a spare on hand in case Ruby spotted them snacking. "As I said, someone other than Ruby."

"Point taken," Yang admitted. She thought for a moment on who else would be suitable before stumbling on the obvious answer. "Maybe it doesn't have to be any of us then."

"Then who would we–"

"I'm thinking a certain pair of neighbors owe you for the trick they played." Yang pointed to their shared wall with Team LHSR. _As I recall, it was you who set me up,_ Weiss quietly thought. Still, if they needed a date for Whitley, why not turn to their resident matchmakers? Maybe they could set something up for her.

Weiss's scroll buzzed almost immediately. A quick glance revealed a message from their seemingly omniscient faunus neighbor informing her she had a free slot in an hour to discuss her brother's date. She really needed to invest in some soundproofing for their walls.

Yang had apparently received a similar message. "I'll handle it," she offered. "Just need to keep him busy for a few hours, right?" Weiss nodded her agreement. "Perfect. I'll see if Randi can work her magic. In the meantime, go have some fun with Flynt."

"But our date isn't until–"

"Weiss," Yang cut her off. "You're allowed to drop in on your _boyfriend_ unannounced. Heck, most guys would probably love that. Go hang out with his team. Eat lunch together. Make out in some dark corner, for all I care." Yang ignored the indignant squawk of protest. "By the time you get back, I'll have everything arranged."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Looks like we just got another appointment," Randi informed her business partner.

"Who?" Honey asked, slowly dragging the desk out for their upcoming meeting. Her task became much easier as Randi lifted the other end, swiveling to arrange the desk how Honey wanted before helping with chairs. It wasn't often people asked to meet with them directly, but she'd humor him…this time. She'd almost turned him down, but Smit vouched for the guy.

"Whitley Schnee."

"Weiss's younger brother," Lilly helpfully added when Honey looked confused. "Youngest of three. Only male child of Jacques and Willow Schnee. Not much is known about him, though he has been seen accompanying Jacques to a few business meetings lately, likely due to Weiss's absence. Some speculate that he could eventually replace Weiss as heir, but that's mostly just tabloid trash looking for a scandal."

"Thank you, Encyclopedia Lilly," Randi concluded.

"I'm just trying to help," Lilly insisted. "If you're planning to pair him up with one of our idiot classmates, try to remember he's pretty much the epitome of high society snobs. You'll be hard pressed to find someone he considers worthy."

"What about you?" Randi asked. "You know a lot about that kind of stuff." _At least, you claim to._ Not that Lilly had any actual experience. "Hey Smit, mind if we set your girlfriend up with Weiss's little brother?"

Smit looked like he wanted to join in on the joke, but backed down when he caught sight of Lilly's murderous glare. "Sorry. She's spoken for."

"You know, you were a lot more fun before the old ball and chain," Randi pointed out, catching the pillow aimed at her head with ease. "I'm sure we'll figure something out." A quick beeping from her scroll alerted her to the time. "Anyways, Honey and I are meeting a potential client in a few minutes. You two mind disappearing for a bit?"

"And just _where_ do you propose we relocate to?" Lilly demanded, clearly upset about getting kicked out of her own room.

"With classes cancelled, there's plenty of empty classrooms for a secluded rendezvous." Randi's offer didn't go over well. Not that she'd expected it too. Winking at Smit probably didn't help, either.

"Sounds good to me," Smit chimed in, laughing as Lilly turned her rage upon him once more. "Just kidding." _I doubt it._ "Why don't we knock out a workout early today? Pretty sure you could use a chance to burn off some steam."

Randi winced at the terrible suggestion. "No. Sparring rooms," Lilly coldly instructed, deciding Smit had to pay for daring to join their side. Her final comment was directed at Randi. "Next time, I'm kicking _you_ out."

"Just make sure to clean up afterwards," Randi shot back just before Lilly could escape. Lilly growled as she dragged Smit out of the room, who suddenly looked very afraid.

"Why do you always antagonize her?" Honey asked once the room was quiet again. "Shouldn't we be encouraging their relationship?"

"It's just too much fun," Randi casually explained. "Besides, no matter how bad Smit messes up now, she won't have time to be angry at both of us. I'm just looking out for my partner." Plus, Lilly's continued attempts to prank her were a blast. She'd already figured out the plot to alter her shampoo. Lilly wouldn't be happy when she realized Randi had switched the bottles. Pranks were fun, but getting someone to prank themselves was even better. Of course, Randi made sure to water it down a bit so the new color would rinse out easier.

Sadly, she didn't have time to dwell on her fun, as a soft knock at the door heralded the arrival of their client. Honey opened the door and welcomed him in. Randi tried to remind herself to keep it professional, but it was hard to forget all the bullying Cardin Winchester was known for. Smit claimed he'd gotten better, but Randi needed more than Smit's optimism.

"Mister Winchester," Randi acknowledged, pointing to the seat across the desk from her and Honey. She figured addressing people by their last name worked for Miss Goodwitch, so maybe it would help control her disgust of the boy. "I understand you wanted to meet with us directly about setting up a date."

"Well, yes…but that's not all." Cardin looked a little nervous and lacked the cruel tone Randi was used to.

"What else?" Honey asked, genuinely curious. Unlike Randi, she'd been willing to forgive the bully pretty quickly.

"Honey and I are in the business of arranging dates. I'm not sure what else we could assist you with." Randi wasn't exactly eager to give the guy dating advice. She'd do her best to find a girl for him, but he was on his own at that point.

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with _you_," Cardin admitted.

"Me?" Randi was, for once, caught off-guard. "Mister Winchester–"

"Please, call me Cardin."

"Cardin, then," Randi corrected. "While I appreciate the compliment, I'm not really looking for a date." _Especially not with someone so blatantly racist._

"N-no, it's not like that. I…" Cardin took a deep breath, gathering himself for what came next. "I wanted to apologize."

"What?"

"I wanted to apologize for how I behaved last semester, okay?" Cardin looked genuinely worked up about the apology. "I was a real jerk. I wanna blame my dad for how I acted, but he wasn't the one picking on people at Beacon. That was me."

Cardin's father was a pretty well-known Huntsman, though that was just as much for his performance as it was for his views on faunus. He'd run for the Council twice while pushing against faunus equality measures. Thankfully, he'd lost both times, but he still pressured the other Council members with his wealth and influence. Some wondered if faunus would've received voting rights in Vale sooner if it wasn't for his meddling. Thankfully, he was rarely featured on the news nowadays, except when some network was desperate for views and dredged up whatever psycho they could find to oppose some common point of view.

"A-anyways, I just wanted to tell you I've been getting help and hope I can earn your trust someday." Cardin sat up a little straighter, as if the words were slowly lifting a weight off his shoulders. "I know how I acted was wrong. I can't change that, but I can't keep ignoring it either. Accepting responsibility is the first step toward changing."

That sounded far too specific to have come from him. "You said you've been getting help?"

"Yeah. I've been meeting with the counsellor at school for a while now." Randi had never met their counsellor, though she'd heard good things about him. She'd also heard a few girls talking about how attractive the young faculty member was. Part of her wondered if he had a few "patients" that were more interested in the apparent eye candy than his help. "He's a little…unorthodox at times, but it's helped me a lot." Cardin glanced around suddenly, breathing a sigh of relief when he realized they were still alone.

"Unorthodox?" While she wasn't one to argue with the results, Cardin seemed a little more on edge than she'd expect from a patient.

"He's a big fan of Pavlov," Cardin explained, rubbing the back of his head. "Anyways, that's not important. The important part is that I'm really sorry for how I treated you. It wasn't fair of me to treat you differently for how you were born. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you–"

"It's fine," Randi cut in before he could continue rambling. Honestly, the worst he'd ever done was make some stupid comments behind her back. He'd done far worse to others. "Just promise me you'll continue trying to improve, and I'll do my best to forget your past behavior. Deal?"

"Deal." Cardin's smile as he rose and shook Randi's hand seemed odd, if only because it was the first time she'd seen him look so genuine.

"Well, if that's all you wanted to meet with me about…"

"Actually," Cardin quickly sat back down, unsure of how to continue with his second request, "there is _one_ other thing." Cardin glanced back at the door, then leaned forward and quietly continued. "I need to set up a date."

"Certainly," Honey agreed, switching into business mode in a flash. "I'm sure we can find some–"

"I need to set up a date with someone specific," Cardin said.

"That's not really what we do," Randi informed him.

"If you're interested in someone, why not just ask her out yourself?" Honey questioned, pointing out the obvious. They set up blind dates, matching couples that might not even consider one another by comparing a long list of criteria. They were meant to help those who had no idea who would interest them, not arranging specific dates.

"Because she'd never agree," Cardin answered. He seemed ashamed of the fact, making Randi wonder just who he had in mind. "Part of the reason I set up a meeting with you is because I didn't think you'd hear me out otherwise. It's the same here. Her team would never let me near her. Doubt she'd even talk to me if I tried. Plus, it's not really a date I'm after. It's someone I need to apologize to."

"You mean Velvet, don't you?" Cardin nodded along to Randi's quick assessment. Considering she was one of the main victims of his bullying last semester, it wasn't hard to guess. She doubted he was after Jaune, which really only left one reasonable choice. "So you want us to lie to her about a date, just so you can lure her away from her team to talk to her in a public setting. Hoping she won't make a big scene that way?"

"I'm hoping she'll listen," Cardin corrected. "I just need a chance to show her I've changed. I've already talked to a few others. Even Jaune accepted my apology yesterday, though his girlfriend stuck around to keep an eye on me." Not surprising, given the trouble he'd caused for Jaune last semester, as well as Pyrrha's overprotective nature. "But I still haven't gotten a chance to talk to Velvet yet. My therapist says I can't truly move on until I confront _all_ of my victims. Whether or not they forgive me doesn't matter. I just need to try."

"That's…not a bad idea," Randi admitted, even if the thought of tricking someone they relied on so heavily wasn't ideal. Still, if Cardin was willing to go this far just to apologize, the least they could do was help. "But understand, if you do anything to her, I'll hunt you down myself."

"Good." Cardin's simple acceptance of her threat surprised Randi. "I need to be held accountable for my actions. There's consequences for my behavior."

"I'll message you once we have everything arranged," Randi advised, rising from her seat to shake Cardin's hand once more. "And for what it's worth, I appreciate your coming to talk to me. Owning up to one's mistakes isn't easy."

"Tell me about it," Cardin chuckled.

"Bye, Cardin!" Honey waved as the taller boy quietly slipped out of the room.

"Well, that went better than expected." Randi didn't know what she'd actually thought would happen, but an apology definitely wasn't on the list. "Sounds like that counsellor is pretty good at his job." _Maybe I should schedule an appointment._

"Watch where you're going, pipsqueak," Cardin's muffled voice berated some unknown student in the hall. A sudden pounding of feet changed his tune, though. "Wait. I mean…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it! Really, I jus–"

"PAVLOVVVV!" A masculine voice screamed out, the battle-cry drawing a shriek of terror before a loud impact echoed in the hall, followed by a thump as Cardin apparently collapsed in a heap.

_Or maybe I'll just keep my problems bottled up._

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Velvet shifted uncomfortably in the padded seat at Clemens, taking another tiny sip of water as she looked over the menu for the third time. She smoothed out the small wrinkles of the dress Coco insisted she wear, longing yet again for the comfort of her combat attire. _I'm a Huntress. Is it really so odd to think I'd show up in my combat clothes?_ Besides, she looked _good_ in it, even before factoring in the pair of bunny ears atop her head that too many guys seemed interested in.

Still, trying to deny Coco a chance to design an outfit for her would've been dangerous. She could admit the slender dress complimented her in ways that had several sets of eyes lingering longer than needed. She just hoped her date would be worth all the effort.

She'd initially pushed back against Coco's insistence of letting Randi and Honey set her up on a blind date, but as with most things in life, one did not simply deny Coco's wishes. Getting a match within a few hours had been a little surprising, but she just assumed the pair had prioritized her. Whether that was as payback for all her help or further meddling by Coco, she now sat in Clemens, awaiting some mysterious guy.

_I wonder what he'll be like._ Even with Coco stealing the spotlight most of the time, Velvet hadn't exactly been short on requests from the male population of Beacon. She'd even gone on a few dates last semester with a third-year, but things just didn't work out in the long run. She wasn't so naïve as to think tonight would be a love-at-first-sight scenario, but a small part of her still wondered if this might be the one. Randi and Honey had done so well with Weiss Schnee. Maybe they could prove just as successful with her.

Shrugging off such hopeful thought, Velvet took a deep breath and returned to her menu. Despite what some people may assume, she wasn't looking for a pile of steamed carrots. No. Tonight, she was craving steak. The only question was whether to settle for the nine-ounce sirloin or splurge for the twelve-ounce rib eye. The filet mignon was tempting, but she just couldn't justify the price for such a small cut of meat, despite the quality.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

Velvet jumped slightly in surprise at the arrival. She'd been so lost in debating her meal that she'd failed to notice his approach. She lowered the menu slightly to reveal her date, eyes slowly traveling up the crisp, black suit, white shirt, and bright red tie. The neatly folded pocket square peeking out of his breast pocket added a tiny bit more color to the ensemble. The simple attire looked sharp, proving the guy had at least put forth a tiny bit of effort.

Her hopes died an ugly death when her eyes reached his face.

"You!"

Of all the people she'd imagined being paired with, Cardin freakin' Winchester was the last one she'd pick. Memories of him yanking on her ears in the cafeteria only last semester flashed through her mind. _Should've punched him in that smug, ugly face of his._ Suddenly, she'd lost her appetite.

"Wait!" Cardin reached for her as she shoved her chair back and prepared to leave. His hand stopped short of grabbing her, but he still blocked her path.

"Get out of my way," Velvet ordered, marching forward to shove through him if needed. Unlike their last encounter, Velvet was in no mood to play nice. She'd vowed to never let him humiliate her again. He shuffled to the side, suddenly aware of his accidental blockade. "I knew this was a bad idea. If those two really thought I'd want to spend a _moment_ with the likes of you…"

"I asked them to set this up!" Cardin quickly blurted out. Velvet hesitated a moment. "I told them I needed to talk to you. Away from your team."

"You set me up?" Velvet slowly asked, glancing back at her least favorite person in Beacon. Maybe in all of Remnant.

"I...I just…I mean, we…"

"Spit it out," Velvet demanded, giving him a single chance to convince her to stay despite her desire to leave.

"Pull my ears!"

"What?"

"Pull my ears," Cardin repeated, a little calmer this time. Velvet turned to look at him, curious despite herself. "It's only fair. I pulled on yours, after all."

_What kind of sick game is this? _"You think that'll make us even?"

"Nobody wins when we fight to get even," Cardin recited without thinking. "I need to be willing to feel the pain I inflicted on others, so...pull my ears. If you won't listen to me, at least help me understand how much I hurt you."

Velvet stared at the idiotic teen in front of her as he leaned over, offering his ear to her. She tried to figure out what his angle was, but her mind had given up already. "You did more than just hurt me," Velvet finally said. "You embarrassed me in front of the entire school. You robbed me of my dignity. Do you know how terrible that felt?"

She could remember the whispers around school. People said she was weak for not fighting back, but there wasn't much you could do when outnumbered four-to-one and having your ear twisted painfully. Plus, she'd always been a firm believer in not answering violence with violence. Then again, that was better than the people pitying her. Having a first-year corner her to tell her it would be okay was beyond humiliating.

She'd take the pain over that any day.

"You're right," Cardin admitted. Taking a deep breath, Cardin stood on top of his chair and turned to the rest of the dining room. "Excuse me!" The room went silent at the odd display, with even the small orchestra stopping their song to watch. "Sorry to interrupt, but my name's Cardin Winchester, and I've been a complete jerk and a racist. I picked on a lot of people, including this girl here, for no other reason than that I could. Honestly, I have no excuse for how I behaved, but–"

"What are you doing?" Velvet loudly whispered, yanking the idiot to the side and nearly toppling him from his pedestal.

"I couldn't think of a better way to embarrass myself," Cardin shrugged before returning to his speech. "Anyways, I'm here tonight to apologize for my behavior. Again, sorry for interrupting your meals. Please enjoy the rest of your evening."

Cardin quickly climbed down from his chair, red-faced as the room began to whisper. Velvet recognized a few people from Beacon and knew the rest of the school would know within the hour. She felt embarrassed just looking at him.

"Wow, that sucked." Cardin reached up and violently pulled his own ear down, gasping at the sudden pain. "I think I'd rather have the ear pulling."

"You are such an idiot," Velvet muttered, reaching across the table and tugging him into his seat before he could make another stupid display.

"I know," Cardin admitted, rubbing his reddened ear. "That's why I wanted to talk to you tonight."

"To prove how dumb you are?"

"No. I already did that with how I acted last semester." _Finally, something we agree on._ "I wanted to apologize for how I treated you."

"By embarrassing me at dinner?"

"Crap! I did it again." Cardin ducked his head, bracing for an attack that never came. "Sorry. I just…I'm still pretty new at this whole apologizing thing. Thought I would've gotten better at it by now."

"It's fine." It wasn't, but at least it was better than his usual behavior. "I'll listen to your apology if you promise to never do something like _that_ again."

"Of course. And I really am sorry if I embarrassed you…again." Velvet remained seated, waiting quietly for him to continue. "Oh, um…right. Last semester…what I did was wrong."

"Go on."

"I picked on you just because of your…well, because you're a faunus." Cardin gestured at the obvious ears above her. "Dad always said...well, he said a lot of horrible things. I grew up thinking faunus were creepy half-breeds or something, which was totally wrong of me," he quickly added in response to Velvet's clear disgust. "The thing is, I wanted to impress him as a kid, so I acted like he did."

"You can't just blame your upbringing." Children's behavior could be blamed on the parents many times, but Cardin was more than old enough to be held responsible for his own actions. "Just because you want to be like your old man d–"

"I never want to be like _him_." The vitriol in that simple statement convinced her of his authenticity. "He may be a great fighter and all, but if you thought _I_ was racist, you'd never want to meet my father."

"So, what, you just woke up one morning and realized you were Beacon's biggest jerk?"

"Actually, it was the incident with Jaune that changed things," Cardin admitted. When Velvet looked confused, he hastened to fill her in. "Oh, duh! You weren't there. I'd been picking on a guy in my class named Jaune for a while. Wanted him to prank his teammate – the Nikos girl – by chucking a jar of sap at her during our trip to Forever Fall. Made him gather a box of rapier wasps beforehand to really up the ante."

"Rapier wasps?" Velvet gasped. _Those things hurt!_ She'd been stung by one when she was younger. The nasty welt it left had burned for nearly three days, even with the ointment the doctor provided.

"Like I said, I was a real jerk," Cardin easily accepted. "Anyways, the guy actually stood up to me and hit me with the sap instead. Roughed him up for it until a big ol' Ursa found us. Guess those things like sap, too. Smacked me around a good bit."

"Sounds like you deserved it," Velvet pointed out.

"That and more," Cardin agreed. "Anyways, Jaune managed to kill the thing and saved my bacon. Of course, when Goodwitch heard what had happened, she wasn't thrilled. Made me meet with the school counsellor for mandatory anger management sessions. He's the one that really helped me turn things around.

"Hated meeting with him at first, but he eventually broke through." The way he rubbed his shoulder made Velvet wonder how literally he meant that. "I always got a thrill out of picking on people, but never realized what it felt like to be on the receiving end. Once I understood that, he thought it would be helpful to apologize to all the people I'd bullied at Beacon. It was a little distressing how many there were."

Velvet could imagine. Cardin hadn't earned his reputation by only picking on one or two people. Practically every faunus at Beacon had at least endured his snide comments and disparaging remarks. Several of the first-years counted themselves among his victims. She had to wonder how long a personal apology for all of them would take.

"Must be pretty expensive to take them all out on dates," Velvet said.

"Actually, you're the only one who got dinner and a show. Didn't think your team would let me near you, so I asked Randi and Honey to set up this dinner to give me a chance." He wasn't wrong. Coco had nearly hunted the boy down after the cafeteria incident. It was only Velvet's begging to not escalate things that spared him that day. If Cardin had just shown up to talk to her, Velvet dreaded to imagine what Coco might've done. "Anyways, that's all I came here to say. I'm sorry for how I treated you. Nothing I do can change that, but I wanted to at least let you know I'm trying to improve. If you want to leave, I'll understand."

"Are you two ready to order?" The young waitress looked a little tense, likely worried about what other antics Cardin might pull tonight.

"I'm not su–"

"I'll take the twelve-ounce rib eye." Velvet cut him off as she pointed to her menu. "Medium rare."

"You're staying?"

Velvet ignored his question, completing her order. "For the sides, I'll take the chicken gnocchi soup and steamed asparagus."

"And for you, sir?"

"For me?" Cardin's mind took a second to catch up. "Oh, uh…I'll take the fried catfish with fries and a baked potato."

"Anything to drink?"

"Water," they both answered in unison.

"Excellent. I'll take these out of your way." The waitress quickly snatched their menus off the table. "My name's Jade, by the way. If you need anything, please let me know. I'll bring some fresh breadsticks out in a moment. Your food should be ready shortly."

"Thank you, Jade." Velvet had been raised to be polite. As Jade left, Velvet turned back to Cardin to answer his lingering question. "I'm not going anywhere until I've had my steak. You're paying, by the way."

"Of c-course." Cardin fumbled for his wallet before realizing he didn't need it yet.

"While I'm here, though, maybe you could tell me about the rest of your treatment."

Cardin hesitantly started discussing some of his early meetings, only pausing to enjoy a breadstick when they first arrived. As he kept going, he loosened up a bit. Soon, he began talking about his recent volunteer work with a local faunus group downtown, sharing stories of meeting people he would've hated only a few months ago. A disabled veteran of the Faunus Wars. A former White Fang member who left after the group turned violent. A young girl whose father had died two years ago that now called him Uncle Cardin.

Noticeably, he never bothered describing what kind of faunus they were. Only that they were people who needed help.

More and more tales spilled forth as they ate, even through mouthfuls of food. By the time their food had vanished, Velvet had heard at least a dozen tales of different faunus he had met over the past month or two. Cardin became more animated with each story, enthusiasm taking over. No, not enthusiasm. Cardin had found his passion. Whatever high he got from bullying people paled in comparison to the thrill he seemed to get through his volunteer work.

"Maybe I could come with you sometime," Velvet offered, genuinely curious to see what could excite her former bully to such a degree. She'd heard of some local faunus support organizations in Vale, but never bothered to look into them. It felt a little ridiculous that Cardin Winchester was doing more for her community than she was.

"Sure! We could always use more help. Plus, I bet Aurelia would love to meet you. She wants to be a Huntress when she grows up. Would be great if she could meet a faunus Huntress to encourage her."

Jade arrived a moment later to clear their plates, asking if they wanted any dessert. Velvet didn't usually bother with dessert at a restaurant, but figured she'd make an exception. "The chocolate cake sounds really good," Velvet answered.

"And for you, sir?"

"Uh…I think I'll try the key lime pie." Jade rushed off to fetch their order as Cardin turned back to Velvet. "You don't have to stay, Velvet."

"I know." As if he could actually force her to stay against her will. "But I want to hear more about Uncle Cardin."

* * *

**First of all, I'll apologize for the cringey chapter/pairing name. My wife came up with it a while back. Funny name, but I still groan every time I see it.**

**Always wished we would've seen more of Cardin after Jaune stands up to him. Did that help him change? Did he become a decent guy by the end? What happened after Beacon fell? So many details I'd love to know, so naturally, I made a few up myself. Of course, I'm not saying Cardin and Velvet are a couple now, but she's at least tolerating him for now. Plus, I love the idea of the two of them becoming friends through his newfound love of helping others. Volunteer work really is a wonderful feeling.**

**As I'm sure many of you noticed, my references have slipped back in. GoT. Chicken Run. And lets not forget the blatant references to Professor Arc. Sure, the Cardin thing was only in an omake, but it was still a fun scene that I really enjoyed and wanted to include.**


	5. Contractually Yours

**Sorry for the late posting. Crazy week and an important meeting. Grateful to be done with it.**

**Also feel I should apologize for the last two chapters. Reread them and realized they just weren't that funny, especially compared to the first two chapters. Last chapter felt like more of a side chapter from In RWBY's Shadow than a comedic dating fic. Lesson learned. This chapter manages to recapture some of that humor, I feel.**

**Poor Mina got spayed yesterday. She really hated the whole thing (can't say I blame her). She threw up this morning and has been pretty out of it, but seems to be doing better now. Looking forward to having my psycho dog back to normal soon.**

* * *

With Weiss and Ruby out to meet the other two Schnee children, Yang busied herself straightening the room as best she could. A forceful shove to cram the pile of clothes into a drawer. A quick kick to slide a textbook under the bed. The pile of loose papers on the desk found a new home in the trash, followed by the half-empty cup of coffee that had gone cold hours ago. Years of being told to clean her room before going out with friends had trained her for this moment.

"That's mine, by the way," Blake notified the whirlwind as it scooped up a notebook.

"Then put it away," Yang instructed, blindly tossing it onto Blake's bed before hastily pulling Ruby's sheets up, concealing scattered crumbs, a comic book, and at least two pens in the process.

"Yes, _Mom_," Blake answered as she obeyed. "What's the big deal? It's not like this Whitley kid is staying here." Weiss had made it perfectly clear that Whitley had accommodations elsewhere. _Probably bought an entire hotel just for the occasion._ While she no longer held the blind, murderous hatred of the Schnee family that her former organization was known for, she still wasn't a fan. They would always be a bunch of greedy, arrogant, racist pigs in her mind. Weiss was the lone exception thus far.

"Yeah, but her big sis is coming, too," Yang pointed out. "Trust me. They'll be coming here to scope out where Weiss is staying. It's, like, the big sister code. You wouldn't understand."

"If you say so."

Arguing with Yang was rarely worth the effort. Considering Winter Schnee's reputation for strict adherence to regulation, Blake doubted the Specialist would visit a dorm room before reporting in to her superior, inspecting the troops, or whatever else a Specialist did.

"Did you get a date set up for him yet?"

"Don't worry," Yang said, checking her scroll. "Randi's on it."

"Meaning you have nothing yet."

"Meaning Randi's on it," Yang insisted. "She assured me it'll be taken care of, okay? Randi hasn't failed me yet."

_That makes one of us._ Blake didn't want to hold a grudge against their neighbors, but c'mon! They'd tried to set her up with Adam! Of all the people on Remnant, they'd literally found the worst possible match for her. _And that's not hyperbole! _If getting a restraining order against one of the most wanted terrorists in Remnant would actually mean anything, she would've been at the courthouse the moment she stepped off that blasted train. _Or…nearly blasted train._

Any further discussion – and Yang's attempts to tidy up – was interrupted by their door opening.

"Welcome to Room Ruby!" Ruby loudly announced as she led the two female Schnees into the room. Winter slowly scanned her surroundings, taking it all in with a look of indifference. At least, until her eyes locked on the sleeping arrangements.

Weiss must've noticed the subtle change. "They're sturdier than they look," she offered, cringing as Ruby jumped into her bed, causing it to sway precariously above Weiss's bunk. "Plus, it frees up a lot of floor space in our room."

"So I see," Winter coldly replied, obviously unimpressed with the engineering effort. "I shall have to trust you on that. I assume these two are the rest of your team."

"Oh, yes, this is Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao-Long." Weiss turned to them with a pleading look, silently begging them to act civilized. Blake had a feeling Ruby had already failed in that department.

"Pleased to meet ya!" Yang cheerily greeted as she stuffed a bra behind her pillow, leaving it to Blake to be the proper one.

Blake set her book aside and stood up. If Adam could see her now, he might…well, she wasn't even sure. Bad enough she had befriended Weiss. To see her being polite to Winter as well might very well drive him insane. "A pleasure to meet you, Specialist Schnee. Weiss speaks very highly of you." Weiss breathed a sigh of relief at both the formality and quick compliment. Blake fully expected to see her tea collection restocked in the near future.

"Belladonna…" Winter seemed to chew on the word for a moment, considering it deeper. "As in Ghira Belladonna, the former leader of the White Fang?"

Blake wasn't the only one to go stiff at the obvious connection. _Of course she would know all about that._ Someone who actively fought back against the White Fang would obviously know all about them, including who was in charge. Sure, her father had stepped down before they became violent, but the insinuation was clear as Winter's eyes narrowed at Blake, then drifted up to the rather flat bow on her head.

"N-no relation," Blake managed, shrinking back. She _really_ wished she had changed her name before Beacon, but she didn't have the capability to fake the identification required to enroll. Plus, leaving the White Fang was meant to be a turning point in her life. Immediately committing a felony by forging documents like that wouldn't be the best start.

"A coincidence, then." Winter's knowing smile proved just how empty those words were. Thankfully, she chose not to press the matter. "And Miss Xiao-Long, was it?" Yang nodded along, still on edge from Winter connecting the dots on her partner so quickly. Winter looked to Weiss for clarification. "I thought you said she and Miss Rose were sisters."

"They are," Weiss hastily blurted out, seizing on the offer of a new subject. "Half-sisters, technically. Same father."

"Ah. My apologies," Winter offered to Yang. The small amount of sympathy in her eyes would've seemed insulting from most, but Blake had to assume even the miniscule amount of emotion was meaningful for the woman. "I did not mean to pry."

"Don't worry about it," Yang said, waving off the incident. "Just because we have different names doesn't make us any less sisters."

"An admirable conclusion," Winter smiled. And by that, Blake meant she caught the brief upturn of her lips for all of a second. "I wish to thank you both for looking after my sister during her time at Beacon. If there is any way I can repay you..."

_A Schnee owing me a favor?_ Even if Winter had been practically cut off from the SDC, she still held some sway there, plus, everyone knew she had the ear of General Ironwood. The tabloids claimed she had more than just his ear, but Blake didn't want to think about that. Either way, the possibilities were endless.

"Maybe you c–"

"No problem," Yang cut in abruptly, shooting Blake a quick look of disapproval. _What? She asked._ "Weiss is part of Team Ruby. She's practically family. We look out for our own."

"Thank you," Winter acknowledged, ignoring Blake's failed attempt to capitalize on her generosity.

"What about your brother?" Yang asked Weiss. "I thought you said he was coming, too."

"Whitley," Blake didn't miss how both Schnee sisters scowled as Winter spoke his name, "had to depart for a meeting in Vale. It seems Father has been busy." _More like Randi's already made her move._ Yang appeared to agree, shooting Weiss a quick wink. "Speaking of which, I have business with the General and your Headmaster. Perhaps you and I can speak further afterwards."

"O-of course," Weiss stammered, hastily curtsying. "I look forward to it."

"I will message you when I am free of my duties," Winter informed her sister. "Thank you all again for your interest in my sister and your dedication to the protection of Remnant." With that, Winter snapped to attention, whirled around, and marched for the door.

"Welp, I'm hittin' the gym," Yang loudly announced. "C'mon, Ruby. You can play your games later."

"Wha–" Ruby tried to protest as Yang hauled her down from her bed, desperately looking for a way to escape another grueling workout. "But what about Blake and Weiss? Why don't they have to come?"

"Blake and I trained yesterday," Yang easily answered. Blake grinned at Yang's claim, knowing full well that Yang's alleged workout consisted of her trying to actually _catch_ Blake and force her to train. Blake's Semblance kept the poor girl busy. "And I'm assuming Weiss will be busy with Flyn–"

Weiss lunged forward to slam a hand over Yang's mouth, but it was too late.

"With whom?" Winter asked, pausing at the door after noticing the detail.

Weiss panicked. Blake could almost see smoke coming out of her ears as the poor girl valiantly tried to think of an excuse. Unfortunately, Yang hadn't left her much wiggle room and Winter didn't look like the patient type.

"Team Funky," Weiss admitted, finally releasing her death grip on Yang's face. "They're a team from A–"

"From Atlas. Yes, I know." Winter turned to fully face Weiss. "I believe their leader was in that photo with you a few days ago, correct?" When Weiss didn't answer, Winter shifted her focus beyond her. "Perhaps your teammate and I should speak later."

"Oops," Yang managed, quickly realizing what she'd just done. "Um…sure?" Blake had a feeling the offer wasn't optional.

"Excellent," Winter grinned…as in, an actual grin this time. "I look forward to it." And with that, Winter vanished. No one moved, still trying to process what had just happened.

That is, until Weiss turned on Yang.

"Oops?" Yang tried, knowing she'd messed up.

"You couldn't keep your mouth shut for two seconds, could you, Yang?" Weiss began pacing back and forth, trying to find a way out of the mess her teammate had created. "You just _had_ to mention Flynt in front of Winter. I'll have to warn Flynt before my sister corners him for an interrogation." So saying, Weiss yanked out her scroll and furiously hit the call button.

Blake had to wonder exactly how literal of an interrogation might be involved. _Poor Flynt._ He seemed like such a nice guy, too. Weiss had introduced him to them at breakfast, along with his team. Unlike Weiss, Flynt seemed very laid back and relaxed, which was probably a good thing. Sort of a calming influence on the sometimes uptight girl. Plus, he seemed fine being partnered with a faunus, though Neon would probably get along with Yang more than Blake. _Why couldn't Randi have set me up with someone like him?_

Maybe if things didn't work out with him and Weiss…

_No. Don't think like that._ She wasn't about to sabotage her teammate just for a shot at her boyfriend. She'd find her own happiness.

"Alright. I'll see you in a bit," Weiss spoke into her scroll, having calmed down a little after preparing her boyfriend for his looming fate. "Let me finish my report for Oobleck, then I'll swing by your room, okay? See you soon." Blake was grateful they hadn't reached the sappy nickname phase yet.

"Time to go, Ruby!" Yang proclaimed as she dragged her sister away, narrowly escaping before Weiss finished her call.

"Don't think this is over!" Weiss shouted as the door slammed behind the two. "How do you put up with her?"

"Mostly, I just do my best to survive," Blake answered before returning to her book. "She means well. Just…she doesn't always think things through first."

"Or at all," Weiss grumbled. "Whatever. I'll deal with her later. I just need to finish writing my conclusion on the Faunus Revolution, and then I can go let Flynt calm me down." That Weiss called it the Faunus _Revolution_ rather than the Faunus Wars drew a small smile to Blake's lips.

"You're already done?" Oobleck had assigned the paper on their last day before the break, saying it would be due a week after the Tournament. Most of them planned to work on it that week.

Yang would probably start it the night before.

"I like to be prepared. Thank you for your help, by the way."

"Anytime." And Blake meant that. Having Weiss ask her for help in class had been a shock by itself, but finding out she wanted to learn more about the Faunus Revolution from the faunus side had nearly floored her. Some books had been written on the subject, but the victors wrote the history for the most part. Weiss had even let Blake look over a few parts to check for errors. Her details of the struggles of uninvolved faunus and its contribution to the rise of peaceful protests rather than jumping straight to the later years of the White Fang were inspiring. _Who would've guessed Weiss Schnee, of all people, would write something like that._

"Now…where did I put my report?" Weiss looked around for a moment, then began to search the desk drawers. Her backpack. The bookshelf. All proved empty. "Well, that's odd. I was working on it this morning. I could've sworn I left it on the desk."

Blake inhaled a quick breath of concern as her eyes drifted to the trash can, remembering Yang's attempts at cleaning earlier. Weiss followed her gaze warily.

"No," Weiss gasped in disbelief, as if willing it to be false. She rushed over to the small bin. "No." Slowly, she lifted a page out, watching in horror as the limp paper dripped, words difficult to read against the stained, brown sheet. "No! How did this happen? I was writing this morning, then went to meet Winter. Yang said she would clean up a bi–"

Weiss stopped mid-sentence as reality caught up.

"Dang it, Yang! When I get hold of you, I'll rip your stupid hair out!" Weiss screamed, promising swift retribution for the slight. Blake raised her book slightly to better focus on her story. Definitely not to hide from the raging tempest of wrath growing across the room.

_Oops._

/- - - - - - - - - -/

_Stupid Yang and her stupid workouts. Why do I need to work out so much? I drink milk._

Despite her repeated attempts to avoid suffering the brutal regimen her older sister imposed upon her, Ruby had been stuck trying to keep up with Yang all afternoon. Aura was great and all, but Ruby hated how long it enabled the workouts to last. Hours of valuable cookie time wasted, all so Yang could teach her to smack a bag or push herself up off the ground. _I can already do that! Why do I need to practice it?_

Besides, she had _Crescent Rose_, the greatest weapon of all time. Just because Yang solved everything with her fists didn't mean she had to. A customizable, high-impact sniper rifle beat a punch every time. _Except when Yang beats me,_ Ruby mentally pouted. Obviously, her older sister was cheating. One day, she'd figure out how and put stupid Yang in her stupid place.

Did she mention how stupid her sister was?

Her mental whining finally gave up as she climbed into her bed, collapsing on the mattress with an exhausted sigh. It didn't take long to realize she was alone in the room for once. Ideas quickly crept in as she sat back up. She considered snooping around for Yang's hidden stash of snacks, but remembered she'd already raided that yesterday, only to be deceived by the lying box of cookies. _What kind of monster uses raisins instead of chocolate?_ The cookie betrayal would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Messing with Weiss's clothes was always fun. She still had some double-sided tape, after all. It would only take a minute or two to sabotage her underwear. Best of all, with Yang on Weiss's bad side, her sister would get the blame. _The perfect crime_.

She was already heading for the dresser when a different thought took over. _Blake's new book isn't being watched…_ She'd glanced through a copy of the original _Ninjas of Love_ last semester. She definitely read it for the gripping story. Not the…_well, you know._ The struggle between good and evil. The fights. The…katanas…

Ruby stealthily approached the dresser, taking a final look around to make sure no one was watching. Slowly, she opened the drawer, then cautiously shifted the undergarments aside to uncover the hidden prize. Sure enough, Blake's poorly hidden treasure lay in its usual spot, waiting for her. _I'll lock myself in the closet. No! Better yet, the bathroom! Yeah. The bathroom. Less suspicious and better lighting. If someone comes back, I'll just pretend I'm pooping._

Ingenious plan in place, Ruby grasped the cherished tome and–

"What are you doing?"

"Gah!" Ruby screamed, releasing her prize and yanking her hands free as if they'd been burned. Unfortunately, her haste flung a stack of Blake's underwear upwards to rain down on her and her captor. Ruby whirled around to find– "Penny?"

"Hello, friend Ruby!" Penny waved, unconcerned by the new article of clothing on her head. "I'm sorry if I startled you. Did I interrupt something?"

"N-no," Ruby lied as she hastily gathered the scattered garments and crammed them back into the drawer, slamming it shut. "What…what are you up to today?"

"Actually, I came to see _you_."

"Oh, that's nice," Ruby continued to lie. She really liked Penny, even if she was some sort of robot or something. Just because she was made of metal didn't make her less of a friend. _I mean, look at Crescent Rose!_ It was just that…well, Penny could be a little overbearing at times. Plus, she had _other_ plans right now.

"Sadly, no, it is not nice today," Penny replied, almost sounding sad in the process. "Maybe we should sit down."

Ruby didn't know how to respond. Penny _never_ sounded this serious. Even when Ruby had found out she was a robot. Whatever had happened sounded bad. As such, Ruby quickly led them over to Weiss's bed and sat down.

"Ruby, I have a confession to make," Penny started. Ruby had to wonder what she could possibly be hiding. _Was she programmed to spy on me? Is she secretly trying to infiltrate Vale? Was she the one behind the raisin cookies?_

Ruby laughed off the last one, knowing that Penny couldn't possibly be _that_ evil.

"What happened, Penny?" Ruby asked, deciding her mental guesses weren't getting her anywhere. "You can tell me."

"Ruby, I…" Penny trailed off, fighting to get the words out. "I cheated on you!"

_Wha–_

Ruby's mind shut down at the strange declaration. Penny watched her nervously, eyes on the verge of tears as she awaited Ruby's condemnation. After how wonderfully Ruby had treated her all this time, she felt certain her friend would never want to see her again.

"What?" Ruby's mind slowly focused in once more, though it still couldn't quite grasp what was happening.

"I went on a date today without formally ending our relationship."

"Relationship?"

"Yes!" Penny wailed. "As the first person to ever ask me out on a date, you deserved better. I failed to notify you of the termination of our relationship status prior to pursuing another. For that, I am truly sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"Yes?" Honestly, she was still trying to wrap her mind around what was going on and just blindly agreed, hoping it would cheer Penny up. At the very least, she could stall for time.

"Really?"

"Sure, Penny. Though, we weren't really da–"

"Sensational!" Penny's sadness clicked off in a heartbeat as she pulled Ruby in for a hug. "Oh, I was so worried you would never trust me again. Honey promised me you would forgive me, but I just couldn't imagine how betrayed you might feel."

"Honey?" Ruby gasped as she finally freed herself from Penny's deadly embrace.

"I had to break up with her as well today," Penny informed her, clearing up nothing in the process. "She also handled it better than expected. I hope the two of you will be happy together without me."

"The two of us…" Ruby's mind finally started to piece things together. _The dance. She wore that ridiculous outfit. Kept going on and on about how excited she was that I asked her on a…oooh._ Ruby _had_ technically said it was a date before, now that she thought about it.

"I hope my licentious behavior does not spoil your relationship. However, it is my hope we may all remain friends, despite my unwarranted disregard of your feelings. It is not you. It is me."

_Did I just get dumped by a robot girl?_ None of that made sense in her mind.

"I-it's okay, Penny," Ruby assured her, deciding there was just too much going on for her to fight. Better to just run with it at this point. "I forgive you."

"Thank you, Ruby. You are a good friend. I wanted to clear things up before I introduced you to my boyfriend."

"Your what now?"

"This is my room," Weiss announced as she entered, followed closely behind by what _had_ to be her younger brother. The resemblance was too much to explain, otherwise. His hair. The snooty way he carried himself. The way he looked down at everything. Very pre-docks Weiss. "Ah, Ruby, I didn't realize you were here."

"Hello, friend Weiss."

"Hello once again, Penny," Weiss greeted kindly. Penny had hauled Ruby away countless times to hang out. Weiss always seemed more than happy to surrender her to Penny. "This is my brother, Whitley." The introduction sounded a little cold for a sibling.

"Hi, Whitley. I'm Ruby."

"Ah, the young leader Weiss always complained about to Winter," Whitley answered, offering a smile that Ruby recognized from the dealer Yang bought her motorcycle from. All business. No pleasure. "Charmed, I'm sure."

_Wait, complained about?_ "Back when I was still acting…childish about the team assignments," Weiss clarified before turning to the only other occupant of the room. "And this is her friend, Penny Polendina. Penny, this is–"

"Oh, we've already met," Penny assured her.

"Ah, yes. Miss Polendina," Whitley chimed in, having recognized Penny as well. "A pleasure to see you again."

"I am also pleased to be seen by you once more," Penny answered.

"I wasn't aware you two had met."

"My meeting earlier today was with Penny," Whitley answered his sister. "I didn't realize she consorted with the students here."

"Your…meeting?"

"Yes. She was interested in doing business directly with the SDC and signed an exclusivity agreement as a first step towards establishing a relationship with our company," Whitley summarized. "Perhaps if you paid better attention to Father's lessons, you would remember."

Weiss prepared to shoot back some biting insult, but stopped herself a moment later. Instead, she suddenly appeared calm. _Too_ calm, in Ruby's opinion. "Is that so? Well, congratulations Whitley."

Whitley seemed surprised at her acknowledgement, but covered it up quickly. "Thank you, sister. Now then, I believe you were planning to show me around the school. I'm curious what could've lured you away from Atlas so easily."

"Perhaps Penny would care to do the honors," Weiss countered. "After all, you two should get to know each other better."

"I hardly think–"

"You really mean it?" Penny quickly asked, suddenly bouncing with excitement.

"Absolutely," Weiss said. "You have my full blessing."

"What do you m–"

"Sensational!" Penny shot forward without warning, snatching Whitley in her arms and doing her best to crush him. _So that's what it looks like._ Ruby was grateful to not be on the receiving end for once. "I am so thrilled! Wait until Father hears." Mercifully, Penny released him a moment later. "Of course, he will likely want to meet my new boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Whitley's jaw nearly hit the floor as the words blindsided him.

"Oh, yes. I was surprised when you asked me out to lunch. Father always says I should try new things. A date with a boy was a first for me."

Ruby fought back a laugh as she realized what had already dawned on Weiss. _She thinks he's her–_

"Boyfriend?" Whitley finally snapped out of it, though his demeaning demeanor had vanished as he tried to halt Penny's momentum. _Good luck with that._ "Miss Polendina, our lunch today was simply a chance to go over and sign the exclusivity contract we had discussed."

"Precisely," Penny countered. Or agreed. Ruby really couldn't tell. "As requested, I have cancelled all prior relationships of that nature and have now entered into an exclusive relationship with you for the period of one year. I'm relationship ready."

_So that's why she…_ As odd as it sounded, Penny's earlier behavior suddenly made a lot more sense. _She dumped me to be with him._ _She thinks…_

Weiss somehow bit back on her laughter as she continued watching the show unfold before her.

"I'm not your boyfriend!"

"You are a boy, are you not?" Ruby could imagine Yang cheering on the inevitable line of thinking there.

"What?"

"Oh, I am sorry. I will adjust my dating parameters." Penny's face blanked for a second before she returned with a friendly smile once more. "Good afternoon, girlfriend of mine."

"I'm not a girl!"

"Returning to prior parameters. Good afternoon, boyfriend of mine."

"Stop this!" Whitley shouted, his face rapidly turning red.

"Aw, he's embarrassed," Weiss unhelpfully offered, enjoying the downward spiral. "Perhaps we should give them some time alone, Ruby."

"Oh no! Have I embarrassed you in front of your sister, boyfriend?"

"Stop calling me that!" Whitley insisted before turning on Weiss. "And stop encouraging her! You know this isn't what an exclusivity agreement means. Tell her!"

"Oh, I couldn't stand in the way of true love, _brother_."

"Stop!"

"He's a little shy," Weiss told Penny, ignoring her brother's objections. "Be patient with him. It's his first time being in a relationship."

"Understood. Thank you for the advice, friend Weiss."

"Please, call me Weiss. After all, we might become sisters someday." Ruby snorted at the excitement on Penny's face.

"This…this is harassment!" Whitley interjected. "I order you to stop this before I am forced to take you to court."

Penny hesitated a moment. "Courtship. A period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage." Penny's eyes lit up – like, literally shone with light for a moment. "We really _will_ be sisters!" she cheered to Weiss.

"Not _courtship_," Whitley corrected. "Court. I'll sue!"

Suddenly, the fun came to a stop for Ruby. She didn't know a lot about Penny's financial situation, but the SDC was well known for demolishing people in court. Public smear campaigns. Digging into personal lives. If they couldn't win that way, they just dragged it out until their opponent couldn't afford it any longer.

Being the richest family on Remnant had its advantages.

"Why, little brother, I'm disappointed in you." Weiss reassuringly patted Penny on the shoulder. "Wasting Father's resources on a contract _you_ signed. One which I know for a fact Penny has not broken."

"Wha–"

"She has agreed to do business solely with the Schnee family, acting through an appointed representative for all matters as needed. A representative to be designated by an appropriate authority within the SDC." Weiss's smile turned vicious. "As heiress, I believe that makes me the closest member of the company with said authority. And guess who I've chosen as her personal representative?"

"You can't–"

"Oh, but I can," Weiss interrupted. "It seems that I'm not the one who failed to learn from Father."

"I'll tell Father!"

"You're introducing me to your parents?" Penny excitedly questioned.

"Not yet, Penny," Weiss replied. "Whitley would hate to have to inform Father of his misunderstanding – one which could result in a breach of contract and millions of lien in legal fees." That sure shut Whitley up. "I daresay Father would be rather…disappointed in your performance."

As much as Weiss distanced herself from her Father, she'd clearly picked up a few things from him. Ruby watched as Whitley tried in vain to find a way out of his mistake, but the lingering silence spoke of his continued failure.

"Now then, I believe our newest _client_ would like to show you around the school. As her representative, I'm sure you'd be happy to oblige."

"I'll get you for this, Weiss. Mark my words."

"He's all yours, Penny." Weiss casually ignored Whitley's threat as she sacrificed him to his new girlfriend, who excitedly grabbed his hand a dragged the angry boy away.

"I have so much to show you! Afterwards, we can revisit our favorite restaurant for our second date, boyfriend!" Penny excitedly planned. "I cannot wait to tell everyone I have a boyfriend!"

"I'll be sure to let Winter know the happy news!" Weiss called after them as they disappeared into the hall. Satisfied, Weiss skipped to the bathroom, humming some song Ruby didn't recognize as she quickly fixed her hair before heading for the door. "Seeing as my brother will be unavailable this evening, I think I'll go see if Flynt is busy."

As the door shut behind her once more, Ruby was left alone with two thoughts. One, Weiss was terrifying sometimes.

And two, everyone had left again…

* * *

**Been looking forward to getting this chapter done, as I love getting Penny involved. Plus, she's the perfect person to correct my humor problem and get me back on track (Neo's too murdery, but I still love her).**

**Had to point out the issue with Blake's name. I mean, her father was the previous _leader_ of the White Fang. Did she really think no one would notice? Also want to do a quick shout-out to the BWBY (yes, you read that right) trailers on Youtube. Absolutely love their parody of the Black trailer. Helped highlight the absurdity of Blake's plans to hide from Adam. Go check them out.**

**Not too much to say here. Still grateful for the continued support. I brag about you guys all the time on the Twitter, the Wattpad community, and Reddit. Keep being awesome!**


	6. Fanservice

**Sorry this is so late today. Work has been pretty crazy trying to figure everything out with the virus and stuff. Realized last night that I hadn't even started the chapter yet, so this morning was crazy.**

**In case anyone is wondering, I'm fine. Honestly, other than my volunteer organization cancelling their weekly meetings, I'm not really impacted at all by the virus. I already avoid being around people. The increased telework is awesome. While everyone else panics, I'm just enjoying the extra time at home and easy excuse to avoid socializing at all.**

**Glad to see people enjoyed Penny's involvement last chapter. As promised, she'll pop in every now and then, but I'll try not to overdo it. Have to be fair to everyone else, even if most of them can't hope to compare with Penny.**

* * *

_Ah, man. Neptune's gonna flip when he finds out._ Sun nervously walked through the exchange student dorm, trying to figure out how to break the news to his buddy about what he'd just seen. The thought of keeping it secret never even crossed his mind. Neptune was bound to find out eventually. Better to clue him in now than have him realize Sun hid the truth from him later. Sun had seen enough TV to know that never went well.

Still, how was he supposed to tell his best bud that Weiss was dating some other guy? He'd seen the two together only an hour ago. Neptune acted all cool and calm in front of most people, but Sun knew the _real_ Neptune. He'd be devastated. Sure, it hadn't gotten serious yet. They hung out at the dance after flirting a bit, but Neptune was really taken with Weiss. He went on and on for days about how awesome she was. Sun had never seen his friend so worked up about a girl before.

Worse, Sun didn't know if Neptune had ever been dumped before.

As the door to their room slowly opened, part of Sun hoped Neptune wouldn't be there. He knew he needed to tell the guy, but he sorta hoped to put it off just a little longer. Unfortunately, the coolest member of Team SSSN – and that was really saying something – sat on his bed, scroll in hand. Sun felt even more dejected when he realized Scarlet and Sage weren't around, making this the perfect opportunity to address the issue.

"Hey man. What's up?" Neptune asked, glancing up for a moment. His smile faded as he noted the concern on Sun's face, easily seeing through the awkward smile his leader wore. Sun never was very good at poker. "You okay?"

Sun's mind raced to put together a plan. He'd intended to figure everything out on his walk back, even taking the scenic route and eschewing the elevator in favor of the stairs. Sadly, he hadn't come up with anything during that time. Now, he'd just have to wing it.

Hesitantly, Sun started, "So…I ran into Weiss earlier." This was officially the worst. Part of him wanted to just blurt out the truth – sort of rip the bandage off and get it over with. "She was…sorta with someone. Some guy from Atlas. And they were–"

"Oh, you mean Flynt?" Sun's jaw nearly smashed into the floor. "Those lovebirds really get around, don't they?"

"Wait, you know?!"

"Dude, I'm pretty sure the whole school knows," Neptune shrugged. "Ever since their big fight at that Clemens place. Two've been practically inseparable."

"What fight?"

"It was in the news, Sun." Neptune pulled up an article on his scroll and showed Sun the image. Sure enough, Weiss and that Flynt guy he'd seen earlier were dueling at some fancy restaurant.

"You know I don't read that stuff," Sun defended. Politics and celebrity gossip weren't really his thing. Vacuo had it right. No one wasted time speculating about what budget deal the Council was debating or how the weather in Mistral might affect stock prices next month. If it didn't impact you directly today, it wasn't worth worrying about most of the time. "You seem oddly okay with her running off with some other guy. Weren't the two of you–"

"Nah, it's cool," Neptune cut in. "She talked to me the next day, just to make sure we were okay. She's a really cool girl. If Flynt makes her happy, then I'm glad they're together. Besides, we only went to the dance. Not like we were engaged or somethin'." Neptune chuckled as he glanced back at his scroll. "Honestly, I half expected her to give Jaune a chance after he talked some sense into me, but I guess he and Nikos finally hooked up instead."

So, not only did Weiss take the time to explain things to Neptune in person, but Neptune actually supported her dating someone else? Sun wasn't sure he could do the same, but that was just what made Neptune so…Neptune. "Dude, how are you so cool?"

"I try my best," Neptune grinned back, flashing his winning smile before something on his scroll caught his attention. He hurriedly scanned whatever was on the screen, laughed softly, then began typing away like a madman.

"What's so interesting?" Sun asked, stepping closer to catch sight of the screen.

"You know that Beacons of Love thing Blake's friends started?"

"Duh. I'm not _that_ far out of the loop." Just because he didn't read the local news didn't make him completely oblivious to his surroundings. After all, everyone had seen the ad for the dating app. Ever since then, you couldn't go very far in Beacon without overhearing someone talk about the service. "Wait a sec. Are _you_ signed up for it? But you're so…you!" If Neptune couldn't get a date on his own, no one could.

"Thank you," Neptune acknowledged, angling his scroll to reveal that he was, in fact, using the app. "They added this chat feature recently. Decided to check it out and met this really awesome girl. Watches some of my favorite shows. Loves video games. We've been messaging each other for a couple days now."

"Have you met?"

"Not yet," Neptune admitted. "She's kinda shy. We were supposed to have dinner together yesterday, but she got sick and couldn't make it. Gonna try again tomorrow."

Sun glanced at the scroll and saw the ongoing chat between his teammate and Olive Luri. The small picture showed the smiling, freckled face of a girl around their age. Her blue-gray hair was a little lighter than Neptune's and hung well below her shoulders, where the image cut off. Sun could admit she was pretty cute, but then again, most Huntresses were serious lookers. He swiped up through the messages, quickly noticing a bit of a theme.

"How many times have you tried to meet up?"

"A few," Neptune answered. "She just got in a few days ago and needed time to settle in with her team. Her leader is a real taskmaster. Has them training constantly, so she doesn't have a lot of free time. Plus, with her getting sick, she's pretty much isolated herself for a few days. Doesn't want to spread it, I guess."

"She wouldn't do a video chat?" Sun asked, suspicions rising as he noticed more attempts by Neptune over the last few days.

"Her scroll's camera is acting up," Neptune insisted, somehow missing the conspicuousness of the answers.

"What school does she go to?"

"Shade, I think."

"Which team is she on?"

"I dunno. She doesn't like talking about her team much and I never thought to ask."

"Dude, something's not right here." Sun wasn't a fan of online dating. In-person was always better. But still, Olive's evasiveness had him concerned. "She hasn't asked for money or anything, has she?"

"What's wrong with you?" Neptune asked as he pulled his scroll back. "Olive's real, okay? I talked to her just yesterday."

"But no video."

"Her scroll's acting up, okay?" Neptune looked a little angry at what Sun was implying. "Look, man, I'm grateful you're so concerned for me and all, but trust me. Olive's an amazing girl, and when she's feeling better, I'll make sure to introduce her to you, okay? Then you'll see."

"Alright, if you say so," Sun replied, backing away before his friend became angrier. "Just…be careful. I've heard about people using fake profiles before. It just all sounds a little suspicious to me."

"Well, when we have dinner tomorrow, I'll make sure to take some pictures of my imaginary girlfriend."

"I didn't mean to insult you…or her. I can't wait to meet her."

Neptune calmed down as another message from his mysterious interest arrived. Neptune was a smart guy, but Sun still worried he was falling for some sort of trick. The bro code demanded that he look out for Neptune, meaning he had some snooping to do. He just hoped he would be proven wrong.

/- - - - - - - - - - /

"You want me to do what?" Blake demanded of Weiss.

"I want you to let Randi try again."

"After what she–"

"I know," Weiss interjected, holding up a single hand for silence. "You've told us a dozen times. But, c'mon, how was Randi supposed to recognize your ex?" Even if said ex turned out to be one of the most wanted men on Remnant. "If it helps, we can tell her no criminals this time."

"What makes you think–"

"I can tell you're lonely," Weiss answered, not even waiting for the question. "Plus, I've seen the way you look at me and Flynt. If I didn't know better, I'd worry you were plotting to steal him from me." Blake's small blush betrayed her. "Don't even think about it. He's _my_ boyfriend." Weiss had recently grown fond of throwing that term around, as if the very idea of having a boyfriend thrilled her constantly.

"I never even considered it," Blake lied. The thought may have crept in once or twice…or more…but Blake would never do that to her friend. "But even if I _was_ looking for someone, I wouldn't need–"

"Please, Blake, we've all seen your attempts at socializing. You only spent time with Sun because he basically stalked you for an entire semester, then begged you to go to the dance multiple times. You're never going to meet someone special if you never try."

"What about–"

"That doesn't count, and you know it."

_Can I finish a sentence?_ Blake angrily thought as she looked to her teammate. "Am I really that–"

"Predictable?" Weiss finished, before noticing the aggravated look Blake was giving her. "Oh, sorry. Bit of a bad habit."

Blake had considered trying again, but after nearly being set up on a date with Adam, of all people, she found herself understandably hesitant. Still, with all of the recent free time and Weiss practically radiating happiness with her near-daily meetups with Flynt, she found herself at least wondering what would happen. At the very least, they couldn't do worse than their first attempt.

"Look, there's no rush," Weiss said. "I just want you to find someone who makes you as happy as Flynt makes me."

"Speaking of which, the two of you have been spending an awful lot of time together…alone." Blake smiled mischievously. "You aren't getting up to anything _too_ friendly, I hope."

"Wha…we…" Weiss's reddening face suddenly had Blake's full attention. "T-that's none of your business!"

"Maybe not," Blake admitted, pleased to have turned the conversation around with her guess, "but you can either tell me, or I'll have Yang ask."

The color drained from Weiss's face as she imagined the horror of Yang's investigation. Blake wasn't even a little ashamed about using her partner as a threat. "N-no. That won't be necessary," the proud girl insisted, waving both hands frantically to ward off the thought.

"Then spill it, Weiss."

"We haven't done anything _bad_," Weiss insisted.

"Kissing?" Weiss didn't answer, as good as confirming it. "Making out?" A hint of a smile crept onto her face. _Already? Impressive, Ice Queen._ "Going back to his r–"

"Nothing like _that_!" It seemed Blake had found the stopping point. Judging by how adamantly she denied it, Weiss had no plans to go that far. Personally, Blake was grateful to hear that Weiss wasn't just throwing herself at the boy. Weiss could make her own choices, but Blake didn't want her regretting it later. Certain lines were not meant to be crossed so lightly.

"No wonder you're always disappearing with him, then," Blake chuckled, enjoying the embarrassed look on Weiss's face. She suddenly understood why Yang needled them all so much. "Don't worry. I won't tell Yang."

"Thank you," Weiss sighed, recovering slightly. "Honestly, I'm just grateful we get to spend _any_ time together lately. Whitley has been a constant thorn in my side. If it wasn't for–"

"Ah, there you are, sister." Whitley's annoying voice cut through the conversation as he entered the room. As Weiss's official guests, he and Winter both had access to her room during the daytime, even though they were staying elsewhere. "Father called earlier. He said he couldn't reach you this morning."

Weiss visibly schooled herself back into her usual composure before turning to address Whitley. "Ah, I must've missed his call while I was training this morning. You know how busy the life of a Huntsman can be. Or, rather, I'm sure you've read about it."

"Of course. It must take a great deal of time to learn how to punch something," Whitley sniped back, both of them maintaining a neutral look despite the clear insults in their words.

"Perhaps I can show you sometime."

"No need, sister. However, Father asked that I have you call him. He misses you dearly, after all." Based on how Weiss spoke of her father, Blake imagined he missed the control over her more.

"I'll take that into consideration," Weiss non-committedly answered. "Unfortunately, I have a rather full schedule for the foreseeable future. I'm sure he understands."

"You have been awfully busy lately, yet Father says you haven't been assigned any duties for the company recently. Tell me, sister," Whitley's grin looked a little too friendly to Blake, "whatever could be so important?"

Weiss hesitated, realizing her freedom from her brother hadn't fully dismissed his suspicions. If anything, the fact that he hadn't been able to keep an eye on her constantly only made her schedule more conspicuous to the devious boy.

"If you must know, I had a meeting with a potential client recently," Weiss carefully answered. "They have a great interest in our services and wished to speak with me on the matter." Blake had a suspicion Weiss's _client_ was more interested in _her_ services than that of her Father's company.

"I assume this client has a name?"

"They asked to remain anonymous for the time being," Weiss quickly replied. "As you know, the trust of our clients is paramount to the SDC. I wouldn't dream of betraying their trust so casually. If all works out, I will make sure to file the appropriate paperwork and introduce them to Father. Perhaps you can tag along, as well."

"I look forward to it, though perhaps you could allow me to attend your next meeting. Father always says he wants me to observe such dealings in person for experience. What better way than to learn from my own sister?" Whitley's look made it clear he wouldn't drop the issue easily. "As heiress of the SDC, there must be plenty I could learn from such an interaction."

Weiss's indifferent façade began to crack as she watched herself be backed into a corner. Blake wished she could provide an escape. Even a distraction. Unfortunately, she doubted there was much that could tear Whitley away when he felt he had the upper hand. "I don't think–"

"Oh, boyfriend!"

Whitley stiffened suddenly as the words rang down the hall, terror crushing his victorious moment. His eyes scanned the room frantically as the words came again – closer this time. "I was never here." Without warning, he dove into their closet, crashing headfirst into the wall within before slamming the door behind him.

And not a moment too soon, as their room door practically burst open.

"Oh, good afternoon, Weiss and Blake!" Penny greeted as she slowly scanned the room. "Have either of you seen my boyfriend? I have not been able to locate him since last night and had hoped he would be within your dormitory."

"You certainly are a devoted girlfriend," Weiss smugly commented.

"Oh yes, Weiss. I assure you that I am wholly committed to my relationship with your brother. Randi advised me that it was important to maximize time spent together, especially during the initial phases of a relationship."

Blake chuckled at the detail, knowing their neighbor's meddling was meant to help Weiss. Yet again, Randi proved she shouldn't be underestimated.

"That's wonderful," Weiss assured her. "I'm sure he feels the same. In fact, I believe he was getting ready for your next date. He just needed a moment to finish getting dressed." Weiss turned to the closet her brother was hiding in. "He should be ready now."

"Sensational!" Penny cheered as she rushed to the closet and slipped inside. Whitley's shriek of greeting was muffled by the door closing behind her. Even so, Weiss and Blake could easily hear Penny's excited voice. "Hello again, boyfriend! I apologize for my recent absence. Had I known you wished to meet in this closet, I would've arrived much sooner. Is this to be what the locals refer to as seven minutes in heaven?"

Whitley crashed through the door, fleeing his clingy girlfriend as fast as he could. With Penny firmly holding his hand, his retreat progressed slowly, dragging a smiling Penny behind him.

"Let go of me!"

"It is alright, boyfriend. Randi has informed me that public displays of affection are an important way to express one's feelings."

"I've got to get out of here!"

"Of course, boyfriend. Where would you like to go?"

"Leave me alone!"

"So long, friends," Penny waved as they reached the door. "My boyfriend wishes for us to be alone."

"Ah!"

The door slowly closed as the pair finally exited, leaving Weiss and Blake alone once more. Blake sat in stunned silence, unsure of what she'd just witnessed. Weiss lasted a whole two seconds before she began cackling.

"I really owe Randi," Weiss laughed, wiping a tear from her eye. Not only had Beacons of Love set her up with Flynt, but Penny's never-ending pursuit of Whitley had given Weiss ample amounts of freedom. "Maybe I can ask her to find someone for you…"

"Not if I'm gonna wind up with someone like Penny."

"A _real_ date," Weiss corrected. "I'm sure she's got plenty of great matches lined up. Adam was just a mistake." _A rather large one._ "I'm sure they've gotten better at vetting applicants now."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Being one of the most sought-after bachelors in all of Vale would normally make any man jealous, but Neo doubted Roman enjoyed the status. Or the fact that those seeking him wanted him in cuffs…and not in _that_ way.

Busting Roman out of his imprisonment hadn't been the plan. Cinder wanted him to stay put until whatever she planned for the Tournament, at which point Neo would free him and take over Ironwood's battleship. With that, they would effectively control the skies, then use the control center to take over all the automated units in Vale. Whatever Cinder _really_ had planned required a pretty ridiculous distraction.

Neo hated working with Cinder. The vile woman clearly saw them as disposable, but there was nothing they could do about that. If the opportunity presented itself, Neo wouldn't hesitate to introduce her to _Hush_'s cold blade. Still, going against her plans definitely wasn't her best move, but she hadn't expected little love-struck Hopkins to actually touch her illusion and spoil the whole thing. Poor guy. She'd planned on sparing him when the time came. It was the least she could do for her dorky admirer.

With Atlas, Beacon, law enforcement, and even Cinder watching for any sign of the criminal duo, Roman had been forced to hide in one of his last remaining safehouses. Those stupid animals they'd been forced to work with had spoiled most of their hideouts, but Roman knew better than to give them everything. The small building nestled in the corner of Vale, near both the city wall and the bay, had become their new home. It was far enough away from prying eyes to let them relax a little, but the complex sensors and hidden escapes – one to a small boat and three leading outside the walls – put them at ease even more.

Unfortunately, it didn't do much for Roman's cabin fever.

"When you're out today, make sure to pick up more cigars," Roman instructed as he used _Melodic Cudgel_ as a golf club, sending another ball deep into the bay. "And golf balls. Definitely need more of those, too."

Neo begrudgingly nodded along, adding them to her list. Her illusions were pretty handy, but she hated being the only one of them that could go out in public. Grocery shopping was a waste of her talents, she felt.

At least Roman had found something to entertain himself with, even if only for a little while. His constant smoking and whining had started to grate on her nerves. They couldn't afford to risk bringing in any henchmen. At a time like this, you couldn't trust anyone but yourself. That left only her as a target for his constant complaining.

"How much longer are we stuck here?"

"Why's the internet running so slow today?"

"Who ate all the chips?"

Neo nearly considered turning him in again, but imagined they wouldn't put him right back in the cell he'd escaped from. Plus, she wanted him free, even if it meant endangering them both. She just needed to find a way to deal with his stir-craziness before it drove her insane.

"So much happened while I was gone," Roman commented, having switched to reading the news again now that all of his golf balls had sunk to their watery graves. "Can you believe the Head Councilor took credit for my capture? Like that fat tub of lard did anything."

Neo nodded along as always, resigned to her fate.

"Wonder what Cinder's plannin' with the Tournament postponed." Neo knew she'd have to go back eventually, since she still had to act as the fourth member of their little team, but she made sure to put her scroll in airship mode to block her calls and messages. She'd worry about that when the time came. For now, all she wanted was silence. "What have we here?"

Finally, Roman quieted down as he found something new to read. Neo stormed over to the freezer, only to slam it shut when she realized they were out of ice cream…again. The dirty pile of dishes in the sink, topped with a bowl containing a small, chocolate puddle, made her want to scream. Being mute was a real pain sometimes.

"Have you seen this?" Roman asked, shoving his scroll into her face. "Guess little Miss Ice Queen forgot her manners."

Neo glanced at the story – some critic's review of a place called Clemens. Neo recalled accompanying Roman to meet with the owner of that place once. Roman liked to collect his first protection payment in person, just to make sure their client knew whom they were dealing with. They didn't get to eat out much, but she'd genuinely enjoyed the food there. Even if the guy was terrified of them, he sure could cook.

Roman was pointing to the photo of two Huntsmen students sparring in the dining area. Neo felt a little disappointed in the choice of weaponry. The trumpet was clearly a Huntsman weapon, but the Schnee's food-based attacks were less than ideal. Personally, Neo would've gone for the glass water pitcher on the nearby table. Broken glass was just so much more fun.

Not that she'd go anywhere without _Hush_. Her parasol was the perfect blend of weapon and fashion.

An ad on Roman's scroll for some dating service caught her eye. Beacons of Love. Hopkins had mentioned something about that back on the battleship. The ad claimed it was a great way to get out and meet someone new. The last part didn't interest her at all, but getting out certainly did.

She eyed Roman carefully as he began balancing _Melodic Cudgel_ on one finger. Obviously, sending him out in public would be difficult, but maybe her illusions could save the day once more. Roman's cane fell to the side, smashing her half-full glass in the process.

"Oops."

As she glared at him for his clumsiness, her thumb quickly smashed the download button for the app. Whatever it took, she needed to get him out, even if it meant setting him up with some goodie-two-shoes Huntress.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Blake's foot tapped impatiently as she waited outside Clemens. _I can't believe I'm doing this._ Weiss had finally worn her down. Within an hour, her date was arranged for the evening. Unlike before, she had no idea who they were planning for her, but Weiss promised it would be better this time.

_Who could it be, though?_ Part of her had assumed it would be a terrible match like Cardin, but then she remembered hearing about him and Velvet getting paired up. _Talk about a weird match._ Maybe he'd gotten better, but she certainly wouldn't have given him a chance.

Then again, why did it have to be someone bad? Sure, they'd screwed up the first time, but it was an innocent mistake, loathe as Blake was to admit it. She hadn't heard of any other dates going poorly. _Maybe it was just a fluke._ No one was perfect.

Blake glanced at her scroll. _He's late,_ her mind pointed out for her. Considering it was only two minutes past the hour, she knew such criticalness wasn't warranted, but she'd come fully expecting disappointment. She knew it wasn't fair, but she couldn't help it.

_Give them a chance._ After all, what if it actually worked out? What if Randi found her someone like Flynt? Randi knew she was a faunus, so there was no way she'd get someone racist. She was also a friend, so Blake assumed she'd get the pick of the litter. She could practically hear Yang's laughter at the pun there.

In fact, she could _actually_ hear Yang's laughter.

"Yang?"

"Hey there, partner," Yang greeted. "Whatcha doin' here?"

_Crap!_ The last thing she needed was Yang prying into her dating life. She loved her partner, but Yang could be unbearable at times. She tried to figure out some sort of excuse, but waiting outside a place like Clemens in her dress from the dance, no less, didn't leave her many options. Nor would Yang accept some lame attempt to dodge the question.

"I'm…waiting for my date," Blake admitted, bow flattening in despair.

"Wow. You actually admitted it. I'm impressed."

"What about you? Don't tell me you're waiting for someone, too." Yang didn't normally strut around town in a dress, after all. Blake hoped they would at least be on opposite ends of the dining area.

"Nah, my date's already here," Yang grinned. "I'm a little late."

"Who's the lucky guy?" Blake asked. She knew Yang was almost universally considered the most desirable girl in their year, though the realization that she came in a close second had been pretty shocking. The boys at Beacon would lose their minds if they knew both of them had dates tonight.

"Actually, it's you," Yang answered.

"What?"

"Surprise!"

"You have got to be kidding me," Blake groaned.

"Don't you mean I've _cat_ to be _ki_–"

"No. No I don't." The last thing she needed right now was Yang's punnery. "Why would they match us up?"

"Fanservice, mostly."

"Fan-what now?" Blake shook her head in confusion, then turned to leave. "I should've known better than to trust those two. I swear, when I get my hands on–"

"Whoa there, partner!" Yang called, hooking her arm and halting Blake's departure. "No one stands up Yang Xiao-Long. Not even Beacon's _second_ hottest freshman."

"You can't be serious."

"Deadly serious," Yang answered, eyes a hint of red. "I was promised dinner, and you're buying."

And with that, Yang dragged her captive date through the doors of Clemens. By the time they reached their table, the Beacon rumor mill was already running in full swing. _I'm gonna kill Randi._

* * *

**Had to slow things down a bit to lay some more groundwork for future chapters. Neptune has found himself a new girl, but Sun's a little nervous his bro is being played. Meanwhile, Neo's going through what I imagine most parents are enduring right now (timing really worked out on that one). Just needs to get him out of the house for a bit.**

**Of course, Penny's being Penny. Gotta have a few running gags in the story. Plus, she's an easy way to really improve a slower chapter like this one.**

**Now, I have to go prepare for the onslaught of Bumbleby fans getting angry at me not taking them seriously. Won't get into my own views on the Shipping Wars, but suffice to say if it isn't Renora or Smilly, I don't care. I've read plenty of good and bad pairings. Y'all have fun with your fights while I just hide in my corner.**


	7. Pumpkin Blossom

**Starting to feel like a broken record with my apologies for late uploads lately. Schedules been all messed up recently. Should be back to normal next week (hopefully).**

**Been a long week. Still had to go to work despite all the craziness while almost everyone else teleworks (stuck in a lab). Then, got a message Wednesday asking me to put together a class for Thursday night and conduct a virtual meeting. Worked out well enough, but had wanted to spend that time writing. At least the week is over.**

**On to the fun!**

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Honey asked, still uncertain if she should help. "I mean, we didn't really specify an age limit…"

"Hey!" Ruby protested. "I'm not _that_ much younger. Besides, I drink milk."

"Ruby, you're only fifteen," Honey pointed out, reminding herself that her friend actually was a bit younger than her. Being the leader of one of the top teams at Beacon always made her seem a little older…at least, until someone pulled out a cookie. Or video games. Or comics. Or a cool weapon. _Maybe she shows her age more than I realized._ "Isn't that a little young to be dating?"

"You don't get to talk to me like that. You are not Yang!" Ruby paused as she realized what she'd just said. "And Yang's not my mom!"

"Yeah, and about Yang…" Honey trailed off, imagining the path of destruction the older sibling might leave behind. "I'd rather not have her knocking down my door for setting you up with someone."

"Don't worry about her," Ruby insisted rather unconvincingly. "Blake showed me the profile she made for me. Obviously, she _wants_ me to go on a date."

"Ruby, she did that as a joke." Unlike with Weiss and Blake, Yang's fake profile for Ruby had been surprisingly accurate. Then again, listing a dessert cookbook as your favorite book was probably more ridiculous than anything she could make up. Also, weapons shops and arcades made for odd choices under the ideal date section.

"Well, the jokes on her, then," Ruby confidently replied. "C'mon Honey. Pleeeeease? For a friend?"

Honey hated to admit how effective her plea proved. Ruby had been Honey's first friend at Beacon and had helped her through that tumultuous first semester. With all the crap Lilly put the team through at the time, plus Smit's whole blow-up at the end, Honey desperately needed someone to keep her spirits up until things finally calmed down.

"Honey, Puh-leaz!"

"Ruby, I–"

"Please. Please. Please. Please." Ruby's repetitive, monotone begging quickly wore on Honey's nerves.

"Okay!" Honey exasperatedly exclaimed, using her Semblance to add a few inches for emphasis.

"Really?"

"One date," Honey answered, holding up a single finger. "That's it. I'll send you on _one_ date. And if Yang asks–"

"I was never here?"

"You found your own date," Honey corrected, eager to distance herself in case big sister came calling later. Yang probably wouldn't fall for Ruby's attempt at lying, but it would likely paint a target on Randi, instead. Her teammate was more than capable of defending herself.

"Thank you!" Ruby cheered, rushing forward to hug her friend. Having secured the promise, she wasted no time adding constraints. "Make it someone good. Close to my age. It doesn't have to be a Huntsman student, but maybe–"

"I've got this, Ruby," Honey assured her. "Maybe leave the matchmaking to the professionals." After all, other than Blake, they hadn't had a single complaint yet. _Whitley doesn't count_, she mentally noted. After all, Penny seemed to be enjoying herself and Weiss certainly approved. She was just grateful the boy hadn't tried to take advantage of her friend's naivety. If he did anything…ungentlemanly, she'd be having words with the younger boy.

And by that, she meant Weiss would become the youngest Schnee once more.

"Wait, I don't have to wear those stupid lady stilts again, do I?"

"It's _your_ date, Ruby," Honey said. "Kind of up to you. Though you should at least wear a dress." Clemens wouldn't turn her away, but it was expected that their customers look presentable.

Ruby hurriedly exited the room, mumbling to herself about how she would trick her team. Honey's mind was already racing to imagine who she could arrange with Ruby. _Jaune would've been cute, but he's with Pyrrha already._ Honestly, after watching the two together, she half-expected them to end up as Beacon's dorkiest couple by the end of the year.

Sadly, all of the guys she knew personally were already taken, meaning she'd have to go off of profiles alone. She pulled out her scroll and began quickly swiping through potential bachelors. Each one failed to meet the exceptionally high standards she set for her friend. _Too old. Too boring. Too experienced._ Ideally, she wanted someone who hadn't been set up on a date yet. A quick tap filtered out a lot of applicants, but still left more than she needed.

_Hm. Maybe if I add some extra filters._ Good sense of humor. Caring. The list began to narrow down as the keywords came into play. Soon, she had a short list of maybe a dozen potential matches. One in particular caught her eye, though she didn't recognize the brightly smiling face.

_Luc Burgess._ His bio made it clear he wasn't a student at Beacon, but Honey didn't care. There was no rule against Huntsmen and civilians dating. In fact, it was pretty common, though quite a few Huntsmen would unlock their spouse's aura and give them some basic training, just to be safe. Either way, there was no harm in sending Ruby on a date with a local boy, right?

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Sun tried to play it cool, but he soon found himself pacing again as he waited for Neptune to return from lunch. Despite his friend's assurances, Sun still worried that this girl was a fake. He'd asked around the school, but had yet to find anyone who knew an Olive Luri. Hanging around the sparring rooms had been a longshot, but the mystery girl's insistence that her team was always training had warranted a try. Still, nothing.

"Calm down, Sun," Scarlet instructed from his bed, eyes glancing up from his scroll to track his leader's patrol. "You're gonna wear a hole in the carpet."

"Yeah, I know. It's just…I'm really worried about Neptune."

"We all are," Sage assured him. "You weren't the only one looking for Olive."

Sun had told them both about Neptune's new girlfriend already, and they shared his concern. That morning, he'd run into the pair outside the exchange dorms, where they were watching students come and go in an effort to find the elusive Olive. _Heh. Guys after my own heart._

Some might call their efforts stalker-ish, but they just wanted to look out for their boy. Neptune had left for lunch whistling a happy tune, reminding them he'd finally be getting a chance to meet Olive today. Sun tried to be supportive, but it was hard to cheer on something so hopeless. He just hoped he'd be proven wrong.

The door opened slowly, halting Sun's pacing as all three boys turned in silence. Neptune stood frozen in the doorway, having not expected to be the sudden center of attention, even as Sun rushed up to him.

"So, how'd your date with Olive go?"

"She had to cancel," Neptune admitted easily. "Guess she was still feeling a little sick."

_Now I'm feeling a little sick…sick of this girl's game._ It was bad enough stringing Neptune along online, but to get his hopes up like that and then dash them so suddenly was just cruel. Still, he had to focus on taking care of Neptune. This Olive chick could pay later.

"Bummer, man," Sun offered. "Just can't seem to catch a break."

"I know," Neptune complained. "I really wanted her to meet you guys. She called me to cancel. Sounded pretty down about missin' again."

Sun could tell his friend was just as disappointed, but he quickly latched onto the other important detail. "You talked to her? Did she tell you anything about her team? Or which school she's from?" _Or whether she's even real?_

"Cool it, Junior Detective," Neptune instructed. "I'm pretty sure she's from Vacuo."

"Pretty sure?"

"I'm not gonna spend what little time we have digging up dirt on her. She could only talk for a few minutes." _Sure._ Sun wasn't willing to make as many allowances as his love-struck friend. Even as he found himself poking holes in the latest excuse, Neptune hit him with a curveball. "She wants to talk to you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. Olive wants to talk to the guy who thinks she doesn't exist," Neptune confirmed.

"You _told_ her?"

"Of course I told her. My best friend doesn't trust my girlfriend." _No. I just don't think she's who she claims to be._ Okay, so maybe he didn't trust her. "What was I supposed to do?"

"I dunno." Admittedly, Sun had put Neptune in a tough spot, forcing him to choose between him and this girl he was so infatuated with. He'd hoped it would help Neptune see the truth. Instead, it just made things more awkward. "Why's she wanna talk to me, though?" After all, he was basically out to get her at this point.

"To prove she's real," Neptune shrugged. "Olive doesn't want me having to choose between you two. She's hoping she can convince you who she is and finally smooth things over. Maybe then you'll stop badmouthing her behind her back."

Sun winced at the obvious swipe. He didn't want to be the jerk here, but there were just too many red flags to ignore. If it helped protect his friend, he'd gladly play the jerk.

But maybe he wouldn't have to.

"I'd love to talk with her," Sun agreed. If Neptune wasn't willing to ask the hard questions, perhaps it was time Sun dusted off his badge – the one he _totally_ hadn't switched with a toy badge when no one was watching. Regardless, Junior Detective Sun was on the case. "Maybe we can do a video chat this evening."

"I told you, her camera's still acting up."

"Oh, of course." Sun didn't believe it for a moment, but he wasn't about to give up on his biggest lead yet. In the meantime, Sage and Scarlet could keep pursuing their own investigation while he questioned the perp. "I'm free whenever. Can't wait to finally get to know her."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Ruby had felt nervous before. Coming to Beacon two years early. Being named leader over Weiss. Watching Lilly fight with Yang. Trying to convince Yang that _Blake_ had eaten all her cookies. She was no stranger to frayed nerves over the past year.

But nothing was as bad as this.

"Are you Luke?"

"Oh, for the love of–" The young guy didn't looked thrilled at her arrival, but recovered quickly. _Maybe he's as nervous as I am._ The thought comforted her. "Hey, Re– Ruby." _Thank goodness. It's him._ Ruby had worried she'd be forced to hunt the unknown guy down herself with nothing more than a name.

"You know me?" It took a moment for her mind to catch up, but he'd clearly recognized her.

"Of course," he answered with a grin. "Your team sure gets around. Why, you might be the most well-known kids in Vale at this point." Ruby suddenly felt even more nervous. _Normal knees. Normal knees!_ "It's Luc, by the way." Despite it sounding almost exactly the same, Ruby felt she understood. Uncle Qrow corrected people all the time, somehow able to tell when they we using a C rather than a Q.

Luc rose and circled around the table, pulling out the opposite chair for her. Ruby giggled a little at the gentlemanly display, but her laugh was cut short as he accidentally pushed her chair in too far, nearly knocking the wind out of her. As soon as he turned to go back to his seat, Ruby wiggled back enough to breathe again, keeping her friendly smile the entire time. Even if it had been uncomfortable, his simple mistakes reassured her that he was just a normal guy like her.

Luc definitely had an odd style. The large, green bowtie looked a little weird with his white shirt, pale yellow vest, and brown jacket. His orange hair further added to the strange mixture. The tones were more muted than what she was used to seeing at school, but that sorta made sense. Honey had told her Luc wasn't a Huntsman student. Civilians tended to wear simpler clothing compared to the crazy, bright outfits Huntsman preferred. It occurred to Ruby that she hadn't really spent much time with non-Huntsmen lately.

"So…" Ruby tried to think of a conversation starter, but all her usual topics wouldn't work. Spars. Weapons. Semblances. All things a civilian would have no experience with. "You live in Vale?"

"All my life," Luc answered. "People always talk about travelling, but this is my town. Not really planning on leavin'."

"I'm from Patch. It's an island just off–"

"I know Patch. You can practically see it from the docks. Some of the taller buildings uptown can spot it on a clear night, too."

"Wow. You really know Vale," Ruby commented. She'd been to Vale a lot growing up, but she only vaguely knew the area. The docks were rather familiar, though the reason wasn't ideal. She knew a few parts of the shopping district and the general location of the residential areas. Luc seemed a lot more familiar with the city.

"Like I said, it's _my_ town." Luc leaned his chair back, linking his hands behind his head. "So, tell me, what's Beacon like?"

"Oh, it's awesome!" Finally, something she could talk about. "I'm on one of the top teams! We might even get to fight in the Tournament. Whenever that happens," Ruby grumbled. Most of the school hated the delay, especially those hoping to participate this year. _What could be safer than an arena full of armed Huntsmen?_ Surely the White Fang weren't dumb enough to attack such a hardened target.

"Think you stand a chance of winning?"

"Absolutely!" Pyrrha would be a challenge, but RWBY was a strong team. Ruby had a spot ready on her dresser back home already. As leader, it only made sense that she'd get to keep it. "We've trained _super_ hard. Plus, we've basically been fighting the entire year."

"You mean against the White Fang?"

Ruby wasn't surprised he knew. Dad had nearly blown a gasket after seeing them in the newspapers…three times. Their visit home after Yang got hurt on their mission had felt like a never-ending lecture on safety. "And Torchwick. We've fought him twice already."

That definitely got Luc's attention. "Oh yeah? I heard he's pretty strong."

"Nah, he's not that bad." Ruby's date seemed shocked by her dismissal of a professional thief. "He's strong and all, but we've already beaten him twice, and we're just first-year students."

"Well, don't get cocky," Luc instructed. "He's still a dangerous criminal. He didn't get to the top of the underworld by accident."

_Aw, that's so sweet. He's worried about me._ "Don't worry. I don't think we'll be seeing much of him anymore."

"Why's that?"

"Didn't you hear?" Luc watched her curiously. "He got caught at the Breach. Ironwood's got him."

"Oh yeah," Luc recalled, laughing at his own forgetfulness. "Atlas nabbed him. No way he could spring himself from the most secure cell in Remnant, right? He's good, but that would be legendary!"

"Well, that's what happens when Huntsmen get involved," Ruby proudly declared. Torchwick had risen to power outwitting a bunch of civilian police. The moment he had to face their team, he'd been thwarted at every turn, eventually leading to his capture.

"Right," Luc unenthusiastically agreed. "Well, why don't we get to know each other a little better, eh? Tell me about yourself. Favorite foods. Best friends. Biggest fears. Greatest weaknesses…"

"Duh-doi!" Ruby had been so focused on her accomplishments as a Huntress, she'd forgotten the whole reason they were there. A first date was a chance to get to know each other. Figure out what they had in common.

The next hour flew by with Ruby barely even realizing she'd eaten a whole meal along the way. As it turned out, the two of them had a lot they could talk about. They were both from the area. Luc seemed to know a lot of the businesses around town and had even met the owners of her favorite arcade _and_ her favorite comic store. They also shared the same favorite holiday – Halloween! Admittedly, Ruby liked it more because it was her birthday – something she was keen to mention a few times. With it being just around the corner, she figured it wouldn't hurt to let him know. Especially if things worked out and they started – _gulp_ – dating.

For a civilian, Luc sure seemed to know a lot about Huntsmen and Beacon. He knew the names of all the teachers, even referring to Oobleck as Barty – a name she'd only heard Port call him from time to time. When she accidentally started rambling on about weapons and fighting styles, he'd followed along easily, even correcting her at one point. Ruby found him very easy to talk to. In fact, she wound up doing most of the talking, as he seemed content to just listen as she excitedly talked about her team, their training, and even her plans for after graduation.

"Well, whatd'ya say we hit the town, Ruby?"

"Do what now?" she asked.

"You know. Go see the town. Walk the streets a bit. Take in the nightlife of Vale." Luc looked eager to continue their date beyond dinner as he offered his arm to her. "It's been a while since I've gotten to enjoy a night out."

"Don't you live here?"

Luc appeared a little unnerved by Ruby's catch. "Er…well, yeah. But I've been pretty tied up lately thanks to work. I think it's time the city and I get reacquainted."

"If you say so." Ruby hadn't really planned for anything beyond dinner, though now that she thought about it, it sorta made sense. People talked about dinner and a show, so she assumed a date meant food and some sort of entertainment. For Luc, shopping in Vale must be a big deal. Maybe she could find a gift for him, since he'd paid for dinner. At the very least, she could take him to her favorite dust shop and check out the weapons on display.

"It's settled then." Ruby hooked her arm through his, feeling a little silly but also enjoying how comfortable it felt. Nothing like she'd imagined. "Just need to grab my hat, and we'll be on our way." As they exited Clemens, the host handed her date a round hat adorned with a single, yellow feather and the pair cheerfully stepped out into the cool, night air.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Where do you suppose all the shoppers went to, Luc?" Despite being near the center of town, the small crowd of shoppers had quickly vanished, leaving them nearly alone on the quiet, brightly lit street.

"Ah, they're around here somewheres." Luc assured her, carefully eyeing the display of a high-end clothing store. As they walked, his right hand swayed oddly, his hand occasionally twitching as if to hold some phantom object. "What do you care? You're havin' a good time, ain't ya?"

Honestly, she was. Luc didn't seem overly interested in the comic book store she dragged him to, but still humored her and even surprised her with a copy of the original X-ray and Vav. She hadn't even seen him slip away to the register. She _may_ have drooled over it on seeing the pristine comic behind the counter, but given the rather sizable price tag of anything on the closely-guarded wall, she'd moved on as she always did and settled for something more in her price range.

In other words, something cheap.

Now, precious comic clutched to her chest, she waited to see what type of store he wanted to check out. She didn't have much lien with her, but after he'd spoiled her already, she felt she should at least get him _something_. Problem was, he never spent very long in any store. _No fair! I can't buy you something that fast._ She'd have to figure out a way to trick him into taking his time.

Her plan would have to wait, as they arrived at the dust shop she'd told him about earlier. Right in the middle of the display window sat a heavy sabre. The bright light inside reflected off the gleaming edge. Ruby's eyes zeroed in on the thin lines running down the blade from a concealed chamber in the hilt, indicating some sort of dust-infusion. The design was simple compared to something like _Crescent Rose_, but she could still respect a classic. _Maybe I can get Jaune to let me do something like that to his sword._ It would take some work, especially if she wanted to avoid enlarging the hilt, but it would totally be worth the effort.

"Can we–" Ruby didn't even get to finish her question as Luc pushed the door open for her and waited. With a grateful smile, and a muted squeak of joy, she rushed inside to examine the weapon. "Oh, it's so cool! Can I hold it?" The elderly shopkeeper nodded in agreement, clearly recognizing her as a Huntress-in-training.

Ruby carefully lifted the sword from its pedestal, marveling at how light it felt. The grip was a little larger than she needed, but it still handled easily. She whistled in appreciation as it sliced through the air, then twirled it twice for dramatic effect. Turning it sideways, she easily found the center of gravity and balanced the flat of the blade against her finger. _I expected it to be closer to the hilt._ Further inspection revealed the end of the blade to be slightly thicker, offsetting the weight in the hilt while also providing a more forceful swing. The dust chamber popped open with a click, revealing two empty cylinders. _Dual-dust infusion? Can it use both at once?_ She'd read about some new experiments in combining dust like that, but the mixture had to be pretty precise.

"This is amazing!" she cheered as she replaced the sword. "Did you make it yourself? How did you get the dust mixture right? What about the infusion method? Does it run to the end of the blade? And what if– hey, what're you doing?"

The shopkeeper looked a little odd with his hands in the air and a worried look on his face. A stack of lien sat on the counter, next to an open, empty cash register. His eyes darted between her and where Luc was browsing some dust crystals.

_Wait. When did Luc change clothes?_ That seemed like an odd thing to do, especially in the middle of a store. He also looked a little taller. And older. And familiar.

_Crap!_

"What did you do with Luc?" Ruby demanded.

"I'm right here, Ruby," not-Luc casually insisted as he turned around.

"Nice try, Torchwick." The infamous criminal froze in surprise, glancing down at himself. "But you can't fool me _that_ easily. Now, where's Luc?"

"Dang it, Neo," Torchwick growled before reaching for his weapon…only to realize he was unarmed. "Well, I guess this means the date's over, eh kid?"

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Neo waited patiently outside the dust shop, enjoying the fresh air and freedom as the disguised Torchwick continued entertaining their young foe. She'd been a little upset at realizing Roman had been set up with Ruby of all people, but her illusion had done its job, making him look younger and getting them out of that cramped house for a few hours. Having to maintain an illusion on both of them for so long had been difficult, but with only a change to her hair color, she was able to focus most of her energy on Roman's disguise.

She'd been a little miffed at him getting the girl a present until she'd spotted the random items he "dropped" after visiting each store. A small necklace. Some lien from an unsuspecting customer's pocket. Someone's scroll. Even a whole purse at one point. Truly, Roman was a master of his craft.

She checked her own scroll yet again, carefully keeping track of the time. While she felt confident no one would see through Roman's disguise, she couldn't say the same of her own. At this time of night, there were plenty of other criminals out on the prowl. If one of them recognized her, word would spread like wildfire. They wouldn't be easy to capture, but with their lack of henchmen to cover an escape and the sizable price on their heads from rival crime bosses, she didn't want to risk it. Plus. That stupid Huntress girl would get involved and they _really _didn't need that kind of heat right now.

Some idiot bumped into her, not paying attention as he trudged along the mostly-empty sidewalk. "Oh, sorry," he muttered half-heartedly, glancing at her as he did. As he turned to move on, the man did a double-take. If that wasn't enough to put Neo on edge, the dawning recognition had her ready to run. "It's you! I thought I'd never see you again!"

Neo managed an awkward smile and wave for her former coworker.

"It's me! Hopkins! You know, from the battleship." The same battleship she'd recently attacked him on, then broke out the most wanted criminal in all of Vale from. "I looked everywhere for you. Look, I don't know what that Torchwick guy has on you, but I'll protect you. You don't have to work for him anymore. Just let me–"

Both of them turned suddenly as a locker slammed into the road a few feet away, just before the display beside them shattered and a red blur shot out. Neo face palmed hard enough to echo in the empty street as Ruby opened her locker and pulled out her frankly ludicrous weapon. With her concentration broken by Hopkins, she didn't need to look to know her illusion on Roman had fallen.

"Not again," came the exasperated groan of her undisguised partner.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Ruby Rose, where have you been?" Yang demanded as her sister dragged herself in well past curfew.

"Leave me 'lone," she whined, trying to climb into her bed. Her foot slipped as she rose, sending her sprawling on top of Weiss. Her partner mercilessly shoved her off onto the floor, where Ruby decided playing dead would be the best course of action.

"I thought you were just going shopping tonight." _Heh. At least my lie worked._ It wasn't a very good one, but it was the best she could come up with at the time. "Next thing I know, Dad's calling me about you getting into _another_ fight with Torchwick!"

"I didn't mean to," Ruby insisted, finally picking herself off the floor and facing her sister. "I didn't know it was him."

"Who, exactly, did you think it was?" Weiss demanded, making it clear who her traitorous partner had sided with.

"Luc Burgess."

"Who?"

It hadn't taken long for her to realize the truth during their fight, especially once that girl had showed up again. She was just glad the two had chosen to run rather than stay and fight in the end. _At least I caught their accomplice._ He'd been standing guard outside with Torchwick's partner, but they'd left him behind. _No honor amongst thieves._ Arresting him didn't do much for how sore she felt, but she needed the small victory after the beating she'd received from the other two.

"I thought I was meeting some guy for dinner, okay."

Yang connected the dots easily enough, though her target was a little off. "Dang it, Randi!"

"Look, it's been a long night, okay? Can we talk about it in the morning?"

"Fine," Yang begrudgingly agreed before helping her into her bed. "But we're calling home tomorrow so _you_ can explain to Dad."

"Whatever," Ruby accepted, figuring it wasn't worth fighting. Considering she'd fought three criminals, then had to endure another grueling interrogation by Miss Goodwitch – who'd condemned her to detention for the rest of the year – before dragging herself back to the room, Ruby just wanted sleep right now. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

_Well, almost everything,_ she thought as she slipped her new comic book out. She'd hidden it in her locker during the fight, then tucked it into her blouse before facing down Miss Goodwitch. The thick plastic covering it had saved her new prize from being damaged in all the commotion, leaving her with a memorable keepsake of her first date.

* * *

**Been looking forward to this one. Spent almost as much time designing Torchwick's alter-ego as I did writing this chapter. Bonus points if you can figure out the meaning behind his name (last name's easy, first name's hard). Also, while his outfit and a little dialogue may seem off, I wanted to throw a quick reference to his actual origination. Those that own the Encyclopedia for RWBY should figure that out quick enough.**

**Junior Detective Sun is on the prowl, in the meantime. We'll see updates now and then on their story, but much like with everyone else, they'll not always pop up. Trying to juggle a handful of minor storylines at the moment. Also, poor Hopkins. Wrong place at the wrong time. As any character from In RWBY's Shadow should know by now, being in one of my stories is no cakewalk. Even in a comedy, it seems.**

**As a bonus, I also threw in a quick reference to the show Community. Love most of the show (the later episodes were a little lacking at times). Can never resist doing quick references like that. Also keep struggling with this story adopting a more serious tone. Had to cut out a small chunk last week about Blake and the White Fang. This week, I cut over a thousand words when a section got too serious and needed a full rewrite. The struggle of writing outside your comfort zone.**


	8. Narcissus

**What's this? A chapter uploaded at normal time, not three hours late?**

**Been a busy week, but made time for writing. Big event was having new flooring installed in the entire first floor of my house. Spent all of yesterday hiding in the basement with my dog while they worked. Love the new floor, as we replaced the patchwork of stained carpet, vinyl, and laminate with faux-wood plank.**

**Still healthy, though my allergies get me dirty looks every now and then. Oh well. Hope you all are doing well during all the madness and that I can provide a few laughs along the way.**

* * *

Randi still hadn't gotten used to her near-celebrity status around school. Happy couples would sometimes stop her in the halls to express their gratitude. She still hadn't finished off the gift basket Weiss had sent her a few days ago. She'd even had a few guys try to befriend her to see if they could be given preferential treatment. Anywhere she went on campus, people always seemed happy to see her.

Which made her current predicament rather surprising.

"You!"

"Me?" Randi asked as she turned to face the furious boy stomping his way down the hall. She recognized him as being a member of Team CHLK, but couldn't quite place his name. The only one she knew from that team was Carnelian, their leader, who she'd set up on a date with a guy from Haven three nights ago.

"Yes, you! How dare you show your face here!"

"What, in my hallway?" Her room's door had barely even closed before her angry-looking classmate charged up.

"Don't get smart with me," he warned, though Randi didn't feel very threatened. He wasn't exactly the strongest fighter in their class. Randi felt confident she could take him easily, though she hoped it wouldn't come to that. "You can't just treat people like that and get away with it."

"Get away with what?"

"What's going on out here?" Lilly's head popped out of the doorway to investigate the noise. Upon seeing Randi being publicly berated by a random classmate, she jumped to the obvious conclusion.

The obviously _wrong_ one.

"Great. What did you do now, Randi?"

"And today started out so nice," Randi muttered to herself, ignoring her leader entirely. She was just mad about her latest failed prank. _Salt in my juice? C'mon, Lilly. What is this, amateur hour? _Switching the salt and sugar beforehand had been easy enough. Sure, the sugary drink she wound up with was a little much for her, but it had to be better than the heavily-salted coffee Lilly spewed all over Smit. "Look, I don't know what you think I did, but I promise I–"

"I demand an apology," the boy said, louder than necessary. Randi could hear the other doors cracking open as her curious neighbors watched from their rooms.

"Fine. I'm sorry." Randi had no idea what she was apologizing for, but all she wanted to do was calm the guy down. If apologizing for some imagined slight would make him leave her alone, then so be it.

"Sorry? You're _sorry_?" he shouted, stomping his foot. "It'll take more than _that_ to make up for what you did. I demand an honor duel!"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Well now, students, what seems to be the problem here?" Professor Port asked, strutting around the corner. "A duel, you say? My, that sounds serious. Perhaps the two of you should accompany me to my office to sort things out."

"Yes, Professor Port," Randi's aggressor immediately agreed, losing all traces of his rage in an instant before dutifully marching past the teacher. Randi arched an eyebrow at the sudden change.

Evidently, Lilly was just as confused. "What the heck was all that?" she quietly asked, stepping closer to keep from being overheard.

"I have no idea," Randi shrugged, as perplexed as her leader.

"Come along, Miss Asmer," Port instructed. "We mustn't waste time. This sounds far too serious to dillydally."

Randi had no choice but to follow the rotund teacher to the elevator where her accuser waited. The moment the doors closed, the boy seemed different. Instead of the angry glares Lilly specialized in, he almost looked embarrassed by the whole thing, avoiding any eye contact as Port began to ramble about how they handled disputes back in his day. Randi found it pretty unlikely that Ursa wrestling really helped matters, but defaulted to Grimm Studies mode for the rest of the trip.

In other words, she tuned the whole thing out until the end.

"–but, of course, when the monster proved too much for the lad, I was forced to step in, holding off his Ursa while my own continued to struggle in my grasp. With one under each arm, I–oh, we're here." Mercifully, Port's outrageous tale of bravado ended abruptly as they reached his office. "That will be all, Kurt. Thank you again for your help, lad."

Randi looked between the two suspiciously as Port opened the door. Before she could question it, Kurt turned to her with an apologetic look. "I'm really sorry about all that. He made me do it."

"Nonsense, my boy," Port countered. "You practically jumped at the offer."

"You said you'd fail me if I didn't," Kurt grumbled. He quickly looked to Randi once more. "No hard feelings, right? I'm kinda still waiting on a match on your app. I hope you won't hold this against me."

"Run along now, Kurt. Miss Asmer and I have important matters to discuss." Kurt hesitated, unsure of what to do before sighing as he turned away. "Oh, and remind Miss Digby that I'm still waiting on her report."

"So what's all this about?" Randi questioned as they entered the small room. A massive portrait of the professor – or, at least, a shirtless version of him with chiseled abs in place of his oversized gut – riding a Goliath through a swarm of Grimm dominated one wall. Randi wondered what kind of artist could bear to paint something like that.

Professor Port looked around the room, even checking behind his desk to make sure no one else was listening. "I needed to speak with you regarding a…personal matter."

"Why not just ask me to drop by, then?" While it wasn't often students were called to a teacher's office, it wasn't unheard of either. Surely that would've been easier than blackmailing Kurt.

"It's…well, it's a, um, delicate matter. I needed to ensure no one suspected anything." _So you drew the attention of half the class and made a huge spectacle?_ The Beacon rumor mill would ensure his plan failed miserably within the hour. Everyone would be asking about the meeting.

Rather than point out the flaws in his ludicrous plan, Randi figured it was best to just get it over with. "Fine. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Port fidgeted nervously. "I…well, that is…how do I say this?" He struggled to find the right words before finally hanging his head in shame and admitting, "I need your help."

"With what?"

"Finding a date."

"What?!" He'd gone through all that trouble just to have her set him up with someone?

"I know, I know. How could someone as manly and stupendous as myself still be single?" _Not exactly the question I would've asked._ "I am ashamed to admit that my duties as Remnant's premier Grimm killer and Beacon's favorite teacher have left me little time to, as you kids like to say, play the field. Despite my best efforts, I have been unable to arrange an evening with one of my countless admirers and hoped you could assist me."

"Just make an account on Beacons of Love." She hadn't expected to be catering to the school's faculty, but she'd do the best she could. She just hoped she could find someone suitable among her users. No way she'd be sacrificing one of her classmates to such a cruel fate.

"That wouldn't work," Port said. "The moment I made an account, every female on Remnant would be after an evening with Peter Port. I wouldn't dream of ruining the chances for the poor boys that turn to you for help. No. I need this to stay quiet."

_Oh, don't worry about that._ If she advertised Port as a customer, Randi had a feeling she'd see a sudden drop in female accounts. "I'm not sure I can help," she hedged, deciding it would be best to let him down easy. "I already have a rather long list of applicants, and the amount of time it would take to find someone worthy of–"

"Oh, come now. I'm sure you can work something out. After all, it'd be a shame to see you fail my class…"

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"I would never," Port assured her. "I am merely pointing out how detrimental a failing grade on this special project would be to your GPA."

"So you're saying this is now a class assignment?" Kurt must've been offered a similar deal – help or fail. "How exactly does this constitute an assignment in _Grimm_ Studies?"

"Simple, dear girl. The sheer joy of any woman in my presence is enough to drive the Grimm away for miles." Randi shivered as she imagined having to endure such an evening. "Not only is it a study in Grimm and emotions, it's also a chance for you to help ensure the safety of your city."

Randi doubted such would fly if Miss Goodwitch was involved, but the fact he was getting away with it after years of teaching at Beacon meant he'd likely found some sort of loophole. If he was serious about his threat, she'd be stuck repeating his class next year. Some things were just too horrible to risk.

"I'll see what I can do," Randi begrudgingly relented.

"Thata girl!" Port cheered, slapping Randi's back in celebration. Even through the armored pack she wore, Randi still felt her aura flare at the powerful impact. "I'll start getting ready."

"Ready for what?"

"For my date tonight, of course!" Port exclaimed. "I'm excited to see if you're as good as the students claim."

"Tonight?"

"Well of course! Why do you think I'm asking you so early?" Randi glanced at the clock on his desk – a horrendous, golden bust of the professor whose moustache halves acted as the hour and minute hands. It was almost lunchtime, meaning she only had a few hours to find a match, set up the date, write an apology letter for the poor woman, find a suitable hiding place, craft a new identity…

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Ironwood finished reading the report with a labored sigh. Private Hopkins had seemed so promising. It seemed like only yesterday the young man had been assigned to his personal unit – a carefully selected detachment that served him directly and whose loyalty was beyond question. _How could I have been so foolish?_

At first, he'd thought the man's fall from grace a result of him not taking enough time to recover mentally from the CCT attack. Hopkins had leapt at the assignment aboard Ironwood's battleship. Honestly, Ironwood had only made the offer because he expected it to be the lowest-risk environment possible. Sort of a way to give the man time to ease back in after a traumatic event.

Looking back, he had to wonder if that was part of the man's plan. Getting saved by Smit Brendis, their primary suspect, at the CCT seemed so innocent at first glance. In hindsight, perhaps he was in on the plan all along. How they'd foreseen his offer of guarding the holding cells aboard the battleship worried the general. _I've grown predictable. If the enemy can see that far ahead, I need to figure out something they wouldn't expect._ After all, you couldn't trap what you couldn't predict.

With Hopkins in position, they'd been left unaware of his counterpart infiltrating their ranks. No one reported anything out of place. His troops had become complacent, it seemed, trusting Hopkins to report if anything seemed off about the girl. Once everyone was fooled, they sprang their trap, even managing to make Hopkins look innocent…again.

"Thank goodness Oz's girl wasn't fooled." Having a student of Beacon finally break through the disguise and catch him in the act proved a little embarrassing for the seasoned tactician, but he saw it as an opportunity to improve. _I've grown too self-reliant. An extra set of eyes would be useful._ Having a fresh take on a matter could help expose his own blind spots.

A trio of meaningful knocks at his door interrupted his contemplation. "Enter," he barked, sitting up a little straighter as he awaited the new arrival.

"You wanted to see me, general." Not a question. A flat statement of fact. Ironwood expected nothing less from Specialist Schnee.

"Take a seat, specialist," Ironwood instructed. "Has there been any progress in locating Torchwick or his accomplice?"

"We're chasing down a few leads, but nothing new to report yet, sir." Winter nodded respectfully as she sat. "I spoke with Private Hopkins myself, but he claims to have no knowledge of Torchwick's hideout or how to contact him. If you'd like, I can arrange for you to question him personally."

"Negative. I'm sure you did a fine job. Besides, if Hopkins had such valuable information, I doubt Torchwick would've left him behind." Plus, Torchwick hadn't eluded capture so effectively by making stupid mistakes. Even if they captured someone who knew such details, Torchwick would make sure to abandon any locations that could be given up. "Headmaster Ozpin allowed me to speak to Miss Rose about her encounter. I believe we have uncovered a new lead."

"Excellent. I'll have my men get to work on it right away."

"No." Ironwood cut her off, ditching the more militaristic tone. The sudden shift reinforced upon Winter his seriousness. "I want us to handle this one personally."

"We, sir?"

"Yes. I'm concerned that they may have others within our ranks." Ironwood wasn't so naïve to think he'd ferreted out their only spy. "This new lead is somewhat…unorthodox, I'll admit." Ironwood passed a single sheet of information across the desk and waited as Winter reviewed it.

"A dating service, sir?"

"Correct. Miss Rose reported that she met with Torchwick for a romantic evening through this new Beacons of Love service. If there's any chance Torchwick could use this dating service again, I want _you_ to be the one he has dinner with." Ironwood's smile, as slight as it was, had a cruel edge to it. "Might I suggest a tour of our holding cells afterwards?"

"I will see it done," Winter agreed, memorizing the details on the report. "In fact, sir, I believe my sister is close to the individuals who operate this service. Perhaps I can arrange a meeting to coordinate our efforts."

"Excellent idea. Make it so. Perhaps they can aid us in setting up profiles for our investigation."

"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, what about you?" Winter asked. "While I cannot definitively speak for the man's…preferences, I'm not sure how effective you will be in securing a match with him."

Unsaid was the fact that he would struggle to pose as a young woman. Far from being offended at Winter's lack of confidence in his acting abilities, Ironwood nodded along with the honest assessment. "I will be pursuing a different angle. You will only be able to cover half of the applicants, so I will pose as a younger male to watch the remainder." Plus, if Torchwick's accomplice could create illusions, there was no guarantee he wouldn't try again as a female.

"Understood, sir."

"I expect to be notified of any potential matches or suspicions immediately." Winter silently nodded along to the order. "I'll also be notifying Oz of our investigation, as it will involve the students running this service. Any questions, specialist?"

"No, sir."

"In that case, as of this moment, Operation Wild Oats is underway. Dismissed."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Lilly had been busily studying her Combat Class notebook for hours, though the section that captured her attention currently had nothing to do with her class. Instead, she focused on the short list of prank ideas hidden within, scratching out that morning's failed attempt. Like many others before it, Randi had not only seen through her attempt but turned it around on her.

Unfortunately, that didn't leave many plans remaining.

_Short sheeting her bed could be fun._ Lilly would need to keep an eye on her own mattress lest Randi return the favor. Maybe next time Randi went for a morning workout, she'd strike. _Flour in her hair dryer. Cream cheese deodorant stick. Clear nail polish on a bar of soap._ Lots of options, but so far, Randi had seen through every attempt. She'd need to step up her game if she ever wanted revenge.

Speaking of Randi…

"Rough day?" Lilly asked as her faunus teammate shambled in before collapsing on her bed.

"You have no idea," Randi groaned.

"You and Pyrrha do a full spar or something?" Even after her training sessions with the red-headed champion, Randi never looked so worn down. Lilly couldn't imagine what it would take to do this to her stalwart teammate.

"We trained yesterday," Randi reported. "Today was more of a mental strain."

"Anything to do with your meeting with Port?" Lilly hadn't seen Randi since the spectacle in the hallway that morning. No one seemed to know what happened, even after Smit tracked down the guy and asked. He refused to answer their questions, claiming he couldn't tell them.

Randi sat up, looking a little better in the safety of their room. "That was only part of it. He wanted me to set him up on a date."

"Really?"

"Then, I ran into Weiss's sister. Spent the last few hours helping her set up a profile."

"Winter is looking for a date, too?" Lilly never imagined Randi's app becoming popular among the faculty. It was hard to remember that they were human, too. "You didn't pair them up, did you?"

"I'm honestly not sure who would suffer more from that," Randi said. "But no, I went with a slightly different approach this time."

"What do you–"

"Ho _ho_! Truly, you are a wonder to behold!" Professor Port's boisterous voice boomed from the hall. Lilly rushed to the door to spy on whatever poor woman had endured an evening with the self-obsessed man.

No one was with him.

Instead, Professor Port strutted through the hall, talking to a small, ornate mirror in his hand. "So rugged. So handsome. Why, I daresay you are the most gorgeous man to ever walk the face of Remnant. Why, thank you! You're not so bad yourself."

"You set him up with himself?" Lilly deadpanned.

"Figured it would keep him busy for a while," Randi shrugged. "Besides, who could ever love him more than he already does?"

_Fair point._ Port nearly ran over an unsuspecting student as he rounded the corner and disappeared, though she could still hear his voice echoing down the halls as he left.

"Miss Rose is red. Grimm are my prey. Being with you is the best kind of day."

* * *

**Bit of a shorter chapter this week. Beacons of Love has reached a new clientele, though Port could've been a real challenge. Considered doing the Coeur al'Aran tribute and matching him with Tsune, but wanted to do something different. Also, Ironwood and Winter have entered the fray as they hunt for Torchwick. At least they caught that evil mastermind Hopkins.**

**For last week's reference, Torchwick's name pointed to both of his origins - Clockwork Orange and Pinocchio. Luc is short for Lucignolo, which is the Italian name for Lampwick/Candlewick. Burgess is the last name of the author of Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess. Probably spent as much time creating his name as I did writing the chapter itself.**

**Some may also recognize Team CHLK from In RWBY's Shadow, though they didn't have a very enjoyable experience. Kurt is a Turkish name for wolf, so working with Port forms Peter and the Wolf. Little bit of fun for me.**

**We're already halfway through this story. Expecting to take a longer break after this one, but we'll see. Have three or four ideas floating around in my brain right now that will likely become stories at some point. All of them are more like In RWBY's Shadow in tone and content, though they all focus on canon characters. Won't say more yet, as they have a long way to go, but I promise this won't be the end of my fanfic writing. Just a bit of a break to do some planning and pursue some non-fanfiction writing.**


	9. Lotus Larceny

**So, I misspoke recently when I said 16 chapters. Only 15 planned. Seems short to me, but that's only because In RWBY's Shadow was a monster. ****Oh well.**

* * *

"You sure this is a good idea?" Honey asked as she looked over the profile of their next male applicant.

"Absolutely," Randi answered. Honey had a little trouble accepting that, given who the guy was. Or, more accurately, who he was partnered with.

Lie Ren creating a profile had been a bit of a surprise. As much as Nora claimed they weren't together-together, the whole school knew she had staked her claim on the quiet boy. Even in his profile picture, Honey could see Nora lurking in the background.

"How can you be so sure?" Angering Nora sounded like a terrifyingly terrible plan. She rather preferred keeping her legs unbroken.

"He told me himself," Randi answered, halfheartedly swiping through a few female profiles as she spoke. "He said Jaune and Pyrrha had been encouraging both him and Nora to go out on dates. Nora seemed thrilled at the idea, so Ren figured he'd have us help arrange something."

Yet again, a first-year at Beacon proved oblivious. _And I thought Lilly was blind, not to mention Jaune._ At least they'd finally figured things out. Or…well, their not-so-secret admirers had finally made it obvious. It sounded like the rest of Team JNPR were trying to open Ren's eyes to his desperately waiting partner, but the boy apparently missed it.

_Still, we know better._ "So, should I go ahead and make a reservation for Ren and Nora?" Honey pulled out her scroll, thumb hovering over the speed dial for Clemens.

"What makes you think we're sending him with Nora?"

It took Honey a few seconds to pick her jaw off the floor. "What?! You want us to match him with someone else?" Randi's overconfidence had gotten her into trouble before, but this was downright suicidal! Honey was having none of that. "Nope! I'm out. For the record, all of this is on you."

"Fair enough," Randi shrugged, seemingly unbothered by her impending doom. "Hm. Now who to pair with a cute, thoughtful, single guy like Ren?"

"Might I once again recommend Nora?"

"You already backed out," Randi reminded her. "If Nora hasn't made her move, then as far as I'm concerned, she has no right to complain if he goes out with someone else. Besides, she doesn't have a profile, so I couldn't match them even if I wanted to." Which she clearly didn't, for some odd reason. Randi seemed unusually stubborn on enforcing their unspoken rules this time around.

As Randi continued her rapid-fire denials of potential matches on her scroll, Honey couldn't help but wonder who would make a good match for Ren. _Lilly's friend Dew seems nice enough._ Honey didn't know much about her, but she could envision the two getting along. Then again, if Nora was any indication of his taste in women, maybe Neon from Team FNKI was a better bet.

Admittedly, there was one pairing she'd prefer, if not for the danger it posed to herself. Still, there was no denying she found the boy attractive. She could still recall their brief chat after their spar at the beginning of the year. He'd been so polite, offering encouragement and proving a true gentleman even in victory. If it wasn't for the eventual hurricane of Nora's wrath that would follow, Honey would be more than happy to volunteer herself.

"Well, I think that'll do it." Randi tilted her scroll away before Honey could see the chosen girl. "I thought you were out."

"I am," Honey insisted, "but that doesn't mean I'm not curious. Is it someone I know?"

"You could say that." Randi looked far too satisfied with her selection. "Anyways, can you keep an eye on things tonight? Maybe take another look at Blake's profile?" While their faunus friend's satisfaction continued to elude them, Randi always helped set up a few dates in the evening. It wasn't like her to miss out on working ahead.

The dots connected easily enough. "Randi, no."

"Randi, yes."

"You can't!" Honey's eyes shot to their door, half-expecting a wild-eyed Nora to burst through at any moment. "What about N–"

"Don't worry so much," Randi said as she headed for the closet. "I'm a big girl, Honey. I can take care of myself. Now, what to wear?"

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Let's see here. Olive…Luri, is it?"

"That's what they call me," Sun's scroll answered. Well, the soft voice on the other end of the call answered. Neptune rolled his eyes at Sun's opening, but per their agreement, remained silent. Sun had planned to insist he stay to hear the truth, but Neptune beat him to it, insisting he didn't want Sun being too harsh with his girlfriend.

"So you say," Sun replied, unwilling to give any ground. Days of junior detectiving had prepared him for this moment. "So I hear you've been sick lately. Too sick to meet my partner for lunch."

"Yeah," she conveniently coughed. "I'm getting sick of being sick."

_Sure you are. _"Yet you still ate lunch every day…"

"My teammates brought me food from the cafeteria. Trust me, I'd much rather spend my lunches with Neptune than cooped up in my room." Neptune blushed at the comment, but Sun wasn't falling for it.

"If you say so. But what about all the training? If you're too sick for lunch, then how come you're still training so much?" Rest and relaxation seemed a far better solution.

"Blame my leader for that one," Olive grumbled. "She seems to think I just need to tough it out."

"But not at lunch?"

"No reason to risk spreading it to everyone else. My team already shares a room with me, so if they were gonna catch it, they'd already be sick."

Sun hated to admit her excuse checked out, but that didn't mean she was in the clear. Olive may have survived his initial questioning, but he wouldn't be swayed so easily. "Alright, Miss Luri. Now, since it's just the two of us," Sun shot a meaningful look to Neptune, "why don't you just admit you've been playing my partner this whole time?"

"I've been doing what now?"

"Please," Sun scoffed, knowing better than to fall for her feigned ignorance. _Time for bad cop to take her down._ "We both know you aren't who you say you are. You can't hide the truth from me! I'm _this_ close to cracking the case wide open, so why don't you save us all the trouble and just come clean?" Sun's junior detective skills told him he had her on the ropes. All he had to do now was seal the deal. "Tell you what. You tell me the truth, and I won't tell Neptune. You can let him down easy and we can all walk away from this."

And the best part was, he'd never need to tell Neptune. She'd tell him herself, unaware that Neptune would hear every word straight from her. His intricate web of deception had her snared with no way out.

"Neptune's there, isn't he?"

"W-what? N-no. Definitely not." _Crap! Our cover's blown._ Time to break out the good cop. "It's just me. You can talk to me. Go on. Just tell me what you did. I'm sure we'll all feel better afterwards."

"You've got me on speaker, Sun."

"No I don't," Sun lied, fumbling with his scroll to deactivate the feature.

"Hi, Neptune."

"Hey, Olive."

"Hey! We had a deal," Sun reminded his partner, before realizing he'd just blown the entire operation. "Well played, Olive. I should've known better than to underestimate a master trickster like yourself."

"High praise coming from a junior detective extraordinaire." _Heh, you know it. Wait, no! She's messing with your head…my head! Gah!_ "I'm not as evil as you keep making me out to be, Sun."

Sun desperately needed to turn things around. _Back to bad cop. Back to bad cop!_ "Enough games, Luri. Tell us who you really are!"

"My name's Ol–"

"What team are you on?"

"W-well…that is–" _She's losing it. Keep pushing!_

"Where are you even from?"

"I'm from Vacuo, b-but–"

"Gotcha!" Sun triumphantly proclaimed. "Sage and Scarlet did some digging. There's no one from Shade named Olive. In fact, there's only one team with an O in its name, and it's not you!"

The line went silent as Sun basked in his victory. Neptune looked deflated from the big reveal, but he'd recover in time. _Better he know the truth._

After a few seconds, Olive's voice finally broke the silence. "What do you want?"

"I want the truth!

"You can't han–" Olive's voice rose before cutting off with a labored sigh. "Fine. You want to know why I've missed all our lunches? Why we haven't had a chance to meet yet?" Olive took a deep breath. "I…wasn't sick."

"Aha!"

"I just…wasn't ready yet."

"Why not?" Neptune asked, once again ignoring their rules. _Partner's too close to this one._

"You seem like such a great guy" Olive insisted. "Why would someone as cool as you want to spend time with me?"

"Are you kidding me, Olive? You're amazing!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're funny, like the same stuff I do…if anything, I'm the lucky one."

"Aw, that's sweet," Olive cooed. "If you're still willing, maybe we could take another shot at lunch sometime?"

"You mean it?"

"Absolutely." Neptune lit up at the promise. "I'm sorry for putting it off so long. I think it's time we finally met. Just the two of us."

"Awesome! How about next Thursday?"

"Make it Wednesday," Olive countered, sounding somewhat eager. "It'll be nice to finally get some time together."

"Definitely. See you then, Olive!"

"Bye, Neptune."

"See, I told you she was the real deal," Neptune boasted as he put the scroll away. A meaningful cough reminded him the scroll belonged to Sun.

"That remains to be seen," Sun cautioned. This wasn't the first time Olive had promised to meet. "Why next week, though. Couldn't you just meet tomorrow?" The sooner the better. One of them needed to be proven wrong.

"Dude, you heard her. She's been nervous about meeting all this time. I didn't want to rush her." Neptune glanced around the room. "Plus…I'm pretty nervous, too. I'll panic if it's so sudden."

"You're such a nerd."

"Intellectual, okay?" Neptune corrected. "Thank you."

"Whatever, nerd," Sun laughed, giving Neptune a playful shove. "Well, at least we'll finally find out who this mystery girl of yours is. Just…promise me one thing."

"What?"

"If she bails _this_ time, can you admit something's up with her?" Sun hoped it wouldn't happen, but given Olive's track record…

"She won't."

"If you say so." Sun let it go for now, but if Olive bailing yet again wasn't proof enough, he'd have Sage and Scarlet questioning every student on campus to find the girl who broke his friend's heart.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Good evening, sir. Do you have a reservation?"

Ren's analytical eyes swept over the young host before him. He couldn't have been much older than a student. Maybe in his mid-twenties. "Yes. Lie Ren." As the young man checked some list on his podium, Ren quickly added, "It may be under Ren. I'm supposed to be meeting someone for a…date."

Ren gulped at the word, still a little nervous at the idea. He'd never been on a real date before. Sure, there'd been that one girl two years ago that asked him out, but she'd stood him up at the last second. Ren didn't even get a chance to see her after that, since Nora decided it would be best if they moved on.

Such was life when you're always on the move. Putting down roots was never really an option.

"Ah, here it is," the host announced. "Your date hasn't arrived yet. Would you like to be shown to your table?"

"Thank you, but I'll wait here, if that's alright." Ren bowed respectfully as he stepped to the side. Although he had no experience dating, the gentlemanly thing to do would be to wait for his date at the door. He didn't know _who_ he would be dining with, but figured they'd have to come through here regardless. If the sight of a Huntress student around his age didn't give the girl away, then surely the host would clue him in.

Speaking of which…

"By any chance, could you tell me the name of the young lady I'm meeting tonight?" Ren wasn't sure he'd know the name, but it couldn't hurt to ask. He'd been trying to guess all afternoon.

"I'm sorry, sir," the host apologized, looking like he genuinely wished he could help, "but I was given explicit instructions not to say. I'm sure she'll be here soon, though."

In other words, he knew, but wouldn't share. Ren wished Lilly was nearby. A quick glance at the boy's list would likely answer his burning curiosity.

Agreeing to go on a date had been a big deal for him. Jaune and Pyrrha seemed so happy together and wanted the same for him and Nora. Of course, any guy who showed interest in his partner would have to go through him, first. Ren always felt like Nora's big brother in such matters. Part of the reason he'd agreed to go to the dance with Nora had been to protect her from having to go alone. He still couldn't believe no one had asked her. They might only be friends, but Ren wasn't blind. Nora was a very attractive young woman. He just hoped she'd be careful when she started dating, given how kind, caring, and trusting his partner could be.

_Maybe I should talk to Randi about that._ After seeing how well things had worked out for his teammates, as well as a long list of other students, he figured he could trust Beacons of Love to find him a good match. He hadn't told his team yet – _such matters are private _– but he figured he'd try them out before recommending it to Nora. He trusted Randi to properly vet any guy interested in his lifelong friend, but it couldn't hurt to be certain. Maybe they could run their ideas by him before arranging anything for her.

"There you are!" a _very_ recognizable voice cheerfully exclaimed, drawing his attention to the entrance. Smiling brightly in the same dress she wore to the dance – fitting, given he was wearing the same suit from that night – stood his very excited friend. It took him a minute to realize what was happening, s he'd never really considered her as his potential date.

"Nora?"

"Well, duh, sillyhead!" Nora confidently strode forward, hooking his arm as she made her way to the host's podium. "Lie Ren and his _date_ are ready to be seated."

The host smiled as he looked up, but seemed confused as he looked over the pair. "But–"

"I _said_," Nora emphasized the word forcefully, "we'd like to be seated for our _date_."

Ren could only follow along as his surprise date dragged him to their table. Absentmindedly, he surrendered his coat to the host when asked before the young man scurried away.

"What are the odds we'd get paired, eh, partner?" Nora asked, looking not a bit surprised.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Morado scurried back to his podium, fearful of the absolute force of nature who kept track of him until he was out of sight once more. _I though Miss Asmer said she'd be dining with him tonight._ He'd met the tall, faunus girl several times and could say with absolute certainty that the crazed woman he'd just seated was not her.

A quick recheck of his notes for the evening showed Randi Asmer, not the terrifying girl Ren had called Nora. _Must've been a mistake._ Maybe he misheard over the scroll. Or maybe Randi misspoke. Either way, he carefully drew a line through her name and replaced it with Nora before heading for the coat closet.

The door swung open silently, proving his supervisor had indeed taken care of the annoying squeak as promised. It took him only a second to neatly place the jacket on a hanger. He stepped forward to place the garment in its temporary spot, but his foot struck something solid on the floor, causing him to stumble.

"Sorry," he apologized to the girl on the closet floor before stepping back to close the door. He froze at the realization that having a young woman tied up in the coat closet was not a normal occurrence. "Oh my word! Are you okay?"

The gagged faunus before him tried to answer, but all that came out was a muffled mess of sounds. Morado recognized her easily enough. His hand shot out to untie her.

A steely grip snared his shoulder and pulled him back up. His face turned to meet the frightening gaze of Nora, who stood far too close for comfort. With an evil grin, she slid a small stack of lien into his shirt pocket. "Give her another hour," she coldly instructed, her vice grip tightening on his shoulder to let him know she wasn't merely suggesting it.

"O-of course," Morado agreed, fearing for his own safety. Randi squirmed for a moment, but went deathly still as Nora turned her attention downward.

"Oh, and Randi," Nora's threatening gaze suddenly softened, as if speaking to a friend. "Thanks again for setting this up for us. You're the best."

With that, Nora shut the door, aiming Morado back at his podium before merrily skipping back to her table.

* * *

**Surely no one thought Nora would let someone steal Ren away from her. Even Randi doesn't stand a chance against an enraged Nora. She really should've known better.**

**Meanwhile, Sun and Neptune's storyline is closing in on its resolution. Olive has finally committed to meeting Neptune. Is Sun right? Is something about Olive wrong? Find out in a few weeks (others will feature in the meantime).**

**For those that missed it, there's some quick references this week. The RWBY and RWBY Chibi quotes are simple enough, but I really enjoyed referencing A Few Good Men. Such an iconic scene. Need to buy a copy of that movie and watch it soon (love those kind of movies). Until then, the YouTube clip of the epic monologue will have to suffice.**

**Appreciate the support you guys have given me along the way. Hope I can brighten a few days with my jokes. Always love hearing from you guys. Curious what you guys think will happen with Olive and Neptune, especially.**


	10. Frosty the Qrowman

**Back for another round of random craziness. Got a lot going on this week, but only a little late finishing this up.**

**Also had a nice exchange with another author on Twitter. Always love connecting with fellow writers and offering what encouragement and help I can.**

**Lastly, I have apparently handed over chapter naming to my wife. Wasn't sure she could top Cardi V, yet here we are.**

* * *

"Specialist Schnee, reporting as ordered, sir!"

"At ease, Specialist." General Ironwood waved off the obligatory salute. "Take a seat."

"Thank you, sir," Winter rigidly replied. Even seated, she still maintained her strict posture. Ironwood had long ago given up on having her act casual in their meetings.

Instead, Ironwood decided to get straight down to business. "How goes Operation Wild Oats?"

"Excellent, sir. My profile has received numerous requests already." Though he hid it well, Ironwood felt a little insulted that his own profile had yet to generate any interest. Perhaps setting it up himself had been a poor decision. As much as he loathed the idea of seeking assistance from two of Ozpin's students – first-years, no less – for a military operation, Winter's success seemed proof enough of their methods.

_Am I really that out of touch with today's youth?_ Maybe he could add some hobbies and interests. He still loved marching music. And who didn't get a thrill out of fieldstripping a rifle blindfolded?

"Any new leads?" Ignoring Winter's surging popularity among the male population of Vale, it would all be for naught if they didn't ferret out false profiles like their own. He only hoped he could find Torchwick and his accomplices before they caused any more trouble.

"I did locate one, sir." Winter handed her scroll to the general as she spoke. "Jack Corvus. Profile was created after the Torchwick encounter. Conducted a quick search of our databases, but no results were found."

"Interesting," Ironwood hummed as he reviewed the profile. A youth in this day and age not having _any_ online presence definitely raised some red flags. "Has he expressed any interest in your profile?"

"Affirmative." Winter handed over a multi-page printout of an ongoing chat between the two. Ironwood did his best to pick through the layers of cryptic slang, struggling to comprehend most of what the odd teenager wrote. What little was readable appeared to express interest in meeting. The rest was a seemingly nonsensical code that he doubted his most brilliant officers could crack. Ironwood jotted down an idea in his notebook for future use.

_Teenagers as code talkers._ It would take years for his enemies to decipher the strange amalgamation of phrases. _Why do people always sound excited about the lighting at events? Is it really that important to them that a venue be well lit? And what kind of Semblance can throw shade? Also, who is this Felicia and why is she always leaving?_

Don't even get him started on the mistreatment of ratchets.

"Well, if Mister Corvus is so eager to meet, perhaps you should treat him to dinner," Ironwood suggested. If it turned out this Jack Corvus was real, Winter could stand him up and continue her investigation. If he insisted on trying to contact her further, she would simply ghoul him. _I believe I'm using that right._

Winter once again proved why he trusted her above any other. "I have already done so, sir. I am to meet him tonight at nineteen hundred at Clemens."

"The same location as Torchwick's last encounter." _Yet another similarity._ "Excellent work, Specialist. Will you require any backup?" Not that he doubted Winter being able to handle a common criminal herself, but they knew he had help. His little bodyguard was clearly Huntsman trained and who knew how many subordinates he currently had. Better to be prepared, just in case.

"I will have a team on standby two blocks away listening in." Winter tapped her ear, alluding to the use of some sort of hidden communication device. "If it is indeed our target, I will have my double lead him away from the civilians before engaging." It seemed Winter had already planned for contingencies, though one detail caught his attention.

"Your double, Specialist?"

"Yes, sir. Torchwick would undoubtedly recognize me, so I arranged for a student to stand in. She will also be on comms and has been given a code word should anything go wrong."

Ironwood wasn't thrilled with the idea of risking the safety of a student, but more concerning was Winter's inclusion of an outside party. She was the last person Ironwood expected to disregard Operational Security so casually. "Why was I not informed of this?"

Winter's calm demeanor faltered at the rough question. "I…I believed it was necessary, sir."

"Specialist, need I remind you of the classified nature of our mission?" He understood her point of being recognized, but surely they could've chosen from one of the younger female soldiers. Someone with training and loyalty.

"I assumed, given Miss Viella's prior inclusion, that it wouldn't be an issue." _Viella…why does that name ring a–_

"One of the operators of this system?"

"Yes, sir. Miss Asmer was actually the one to recommend it." _The other administrator,_ Ironwood reminded himself. If memory served, she was also the one to assist Winter in the creation of her profile.

"Understood," Ironwood nodded, relieved to hear his faith hadn't been misplaced after all. "Very well. I expect a full report of your evening on my desk tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, sir." Winter snapped to attention, salute in place once more. Ironwood sat up straight and returned the gesture, though his was far less rigid. Rank came with privilege.

"Oh, and Specialist," Ironwood called as she reached the door, "do try and enjoy your date."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"What're you in for?"

Hopkins sighed, eyeing his new cellmate. The guy was tall, but didn't look that threatening. His goofy, friendly smile seemed out of place on a hardened criminal. "Wrong place at the wrong time."

"Weren't we all. Name's Marv, by the way."

Hopkins tossed his bedding on the upper bunk. "Hopkins. What about you?"

"Me and Harry – that's my partner – were the greatest home burglars in Vale. Got busted breaking into some rich guy's house up on Lincoln Avenue."

"Security system?" Hopkins guessed.

"Worse." Marv grimaced as he rubbed his face. "Used to work for Torchwick back before he got caught."

Hopkins didn't know much about the Vale underground, but that name sure rang a bell. "Torchwick?"

"The big guy himself," Marv bragged. "Heard he busted out of old Ironwood's cells. Must've been _pretty_ embarrassin' for those guards."

"Yeah. Embarrassing," Hopkins grumbled, suddenly less fond of his roomie.

"I mean, how do you lose a guy in a freakin' battleship? He had _one _job. Bet they fired the guard out of a cannon or something."

_If only._ At this point, he might've preferred that. "I get it, okay?"

"Well, guess that's just what makes him the best," Marv shrugged. "Can't wait to get outta this dump and back to work."

Hopkins could admit to feeling the same, though they likely differed on methods. He hoped to get a chance to convince his superiors that it had all just been a horrible misunderstanding. He'd be reinstated and push for a nice, cushy job as an apology. Maybe something near Beacon during the Tournament. Or a position at Argus. That place never saw much action and he could enjoy the warmer Mistralian weather.

Either way, once he fixed everything, life would be smooth sailing for–

Hopkins fell off his bed as the room shook from a nearby explosion. A second made him stumble as he rose to his feet, a siren blaring as guards rushed by.

"What's going on?" Hopkins yelled. The guards ignored him, as well as the numerous calls from his fellow inmates. The door to their cellblock slammed shut once more. Even so, Hopkins could just make out the sounds of battle beyond. The room went silent as the door finally opened again, though the figure that entered surprised him.

"Well, well, what have we here?" The question came from the flamboyant thief who had effectively ruined Hopkins' life. Torchwick strode into the middle of the room, twirling his cane as he glanced around. "Gentlemen! I'm on a bit of a tight schedule, so I'll get right to it. I'm looking to come out of retirement. As a welcome back present, I figured I'd get the gang back together. Not much of a party if my guests are all locked up."

So saying, Torchwick nodded to a nearby camera. A loud tone announced the unlocking of all the cells, followed by the raucous cheers of the newly-freed criminals. Someone tried to start up a chant of their rescuer's name, but it didn't really catch on.

"Gonna start small, but I'll be looking for some new recruits soon enough, so get out there and show me what you can do." He punctuated the final command by blasting a hole in the far wall, opening a route to the outside. Bodies streamed out, though a few stayed behind, hoping to catch Torchwick's eye. Hopkins absentmindedly stumbled out of his cell, unsure what to do as Marv barreled past him to the ringleader.

"Torchwick! It's me, Marv!"

"Ah, of course." Torchwick smiled, though Hopkins could tell he was struggling to remember who the guy was. The name finally clicked. "Oh, yes. My favorite member of the Washed-Up Bandits."

"Wet Bandits," Marv corrected, somehow missing the obvious lack of recognition from his boss. "Have you seen Harry? He was in C-wing."

"Probably outside, then." _Must've hit multiple blocks already._ Torchwick turned to leave, clearly intent on moving on. Given the situation, Hopkins could understand why.

"Oh! Have you met my cellmate?" Hopkins frantically waved his hands, hoping to avoid the introduction. Marv clearly missed the signal. "Oh good, you're still here! This is Hopkins. Seems like a good guy. Any chance you can find him a place in the gang?"

Hopkins froze as the infamous crime lord turned to look at him. His heart dropped as Torchwick's eyes widened slightly. "Well, fancy meeting you here, kid. Neo, I found your boyfriend!" Hopkins couldn't help the small blush working its way onto his face. "Already in high security, eh? Maybe there's hope for you yet."

"You never told me you worked for Torchwick," Marv complained.

"I don't."

"Oh, don't be so modest, Hops." If Hopkins wasn't nervous before, he sure was now. "Never got a chance to thank you for helping us out of the general's oversized toy. You busted me out. I'm busting you out. Guess that means we're even." Hopkins stumbled as Torchwick slapped his shoulder, far harder than necessary.

Neo skipped in a moment later, her smile widening as she caught sight of him. After she'd abandoned him outside the dust shop, he felt he should be upset to see her. Still, he couldn't help his smile at seeing the cute girl again, especially when she put an arm around his shoulder, stood on her toes, and pulled him down for a quick peck on the cheek.

"Neo says thanks, too," Torchwick said, pointing out the obvious. "It's been fun and all, but we really should get going. Wouldn't hang around here too long if I were you, kid." Torchwick nodded to the camera, making his point clear. If his previous circumstances weren't bad enough, the authorities would now have footage of their happy little reunion. That wouldn't paint a very good picture for him. "Get out there and do an old thief proud. Neo?"

Neo nodded to her partner, turning to wave a quick farewell to the cameras before offering a hand to Hopkins. He froze for a moment, staring into those mismatched eyes as he struggled with what to do. Going back to his cell had been the original plan, but there was no way anyone would believe he wasn't involved with Torchwick now. Obviously, going on the run would be bad, since he had no knowledge of the city and nowhere to stay. If Torchwick was offering to keep him safe for now, then that seemed the best bet. He could always slip away later and disappear into the wilderness. Maybe start over in a small village and wait for things to calm down.

_And if Neo could be convinced to come with me…_ It wouldn't be easy, but given the choice between bunking with criminals in prison or out in the real world, he'd take the latter. He reached out, grasping Neo's hand in acceptance.

Hopkins shrieked as both she and Torchwick shattered in front of him, vanishing entirely.

"I think he likes you," Marv offered in support. "C'mon. Harry and I know a place you can stay 'til things die down."

Somewhat disappointed, Hopkins let himself be led out of the building by his new friend. He'd have to make the most of the situation.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Honey's voice asked over the hidden communication device.

"You'll be fine," Winter assured her, watching from her booth across the room. She'd arrived first to scope out the location, then signaled for Honey to come in and take her seat. "No sign of the target yet."

"Do you _have_ to keep calling him that? It's making me nervous."

"Fine," Winter sighed, reminding herself that Honey wasn't a soldier. "No sign of your date," Winter grumbled as she checked her scroll. _1855\. Guess punctuality isn't Jack's specialty._ She always ensured she arrived for any meeting at least fifteen minutes early. _Ten minutes early is five minutes late,_ her mind droned, repeating one of General Ironwood's many phrases. "Alpha Team, are you in position?"

"Affirmative," the squad leader's voice announced in her ear. "Our van is parked two blocks away. Team is geared up and ready to go."

"Understood. Standby for my signal. We don't want to risk the civilians' safety."

"Or mine," Honey added.

"Or yours, Miss Viella." Winter rolled her eyes. Honey was a sweet girl and all, but Winter wished she'd be a little more confident. _You're a Huntress. With your aura – not to mention my presence and a full team nearby – there's nothing to worry about._ "Remember, act normal. We don't know if this is really Torchwick, or just a random civilian excited for a date. Enjoy your dinner, then ask to take a walk afterwards. We'll only move in if we need to or if you give the signal."

"Smilly?"

"What? He's here?"

"Alpha Team, we're rolling out!"

"No!" Honey nearly yelled, drawing a few curious glances from her fellow diners. "I j-just wanted to make sure I had it right."

"Alpha Team, stand down," Winter ordered through grit teeth. _Of course that's the signal! You chose it!_ That was the last time she let an agent come up with a code word. "Yes, that's it. Keep quiet until the tar– your date," Winter corrected," arrives."

"Got it," Honey promised, shooting an apologetic look at the booth Winter observed from. _Stop looking over here! _Did the girl want to blow her cover or something?

Winter did her best to calm down, devouring a breadstick as she waited for the mission to commence. Right now, she just wanted to get this over with. They'd only just gotten settled, and already Winter felt aggravated by the whole thing. At least things couldn't get much worse.

"Fancy meeting you here. This seat taken?" a gravelly voice asked, instantly ruining any hope of Winter calming down.

"Qrow." Winter growled out the single word, glaring as the aggravating moron took the seat opposite her. "I don't have time for your stupidity. I'm on a mission."

"Heh, so am I, Ice Queen. So am I." Qrow leaned across the table, coming far closer than Winter was comfortable with. Even so, she refused to move, defiantly withstanding her revulsion so as not to show any weakness. "You havin' fun yet, Honey?"

"Don't answer that," Winter instructed. "Why are you here, Qrow?"

"You're not the only one here on business," Qrow answered, leaning back in his seat once more. "Difference is, I don't need an entire van of grunts to watch _my_ back. By the way, they may want to check their windshield."

"Their what?"

"Dang it!" her squad leader loudly exclaimed. "We've received a ticket for an expired meter. Could've sworn I put money in there."

"Bad luck, I guess," Qrow grinned. "The moving van is a little cliché, don't you think?"

Winter couldn't even bring herself to be surprised he'd not only spotted their vehicle, but decided to investigate it himself. "That's none of your concern. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm waiting for–"

"Jack Corvus, by any chance?"

"How do you…" Winter's fists clenched as Qrow smiled cockily. "You're Jack Corvis?"

"In the flesh," Qrow laughed, finding amusement in ruining their operation. "Didn't realize you were so desperate for companionship. Things not work out between you and James?"

"That's General Ironwood, to you." She knew better than to rise to his bait. "Team, stand down. Honey, you're dismissed for the evening."

"Are you su–"

"I said you're dismissed!" Winter couldn't believe her luck. All their work wasted because Qrow thought it would be fun to pose as a young man on the dating app. "As for you, why on Remnant did you create a profile? Are you truly that pathetic?"

"Says the woman impersonating my nieces' classmate," Qrow shot back. "Oz asked me to look into any suspicious profiles after Ruby and Torchwick got matched up. Sounds like you and Jimmy had the same idea. Ya know, being allies works a whole lot better when you actually communicate."

"That goes both ways," Winter replied, enjoying the turnabout.

"Consider this our notification." The waitress arrived a moment later, asking for their drink order. Qrow decided to go first. "I'm covered," Qrow insisted, producing a flask from his hip. "Don't know about her though. Probably needs to ask permission to order anything."

"Water, please. And don't worry about him." Winter turned her glare on Qrow. "He was just leaving."

"Such a sense of humor, love." Winter nearly gagged at his words, which provided just the opening he'd apparently been waiting for. "It's our anniversary."

"No it's not!"

"Okay, it's tomorrow, but figured it couldn't hurt to try."

"I've got you covered," the waitress responded, giving Qrow a quick wink before hastily beating a retreat.

"No, wait! We're not…" Sadly, their oblivious waitress didn't wait for her correction. "Dang it, Qrow! Must you always act so childish?"

"Sorry. Guess I should be more mature like you. How old are you anyways? Fifty?"

"I despise you." Winter reached for the last breadstick, but stopped when she saw Qrow had done the same. Both sat there, refusing to yield as they laid claim to it. "Release that breadstick at once!"

Rather than comply, Qrow licked his other hand and quickly reached for her. Instinctively, Winter released her grip, narrowly dodging the disgusting appendage as he grabbed her half as well. "It's mine. I licked it."

"I swear, Qrow, I will end you." Her hand itched for her sword, but she refused to let him get the better of her like that. "This is my table. You are to leave at once."

"Didn't realize you owned the place. Did Daddy buy it for you?" Qrow answered, making no move to leave. "I was promised dinner. You can go, if you want."

_And admit defeat? Never!_ "I'm not going anywhere."

"Happy anniversary!" Their waitress cheered from behind her, along with several other voices. Winter turned just in time to be blinded by the flash of a camera as the staff of Clemens drew all eyes to their table. "Everyone here at Clemens is excited to share this special day with such a lovely couple. We wish you a lifetime of happiness together!"

Winter could feel her anger boiling over, threatening to blow at any moment. "We aren't–"

"Aw, how sweet!" Qrow loudly proclaimed. "I told you this place was perfect, snookums."

"Snookums?! That's it!"

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Winter stomped her way into Ironwood's office, her eyes promising death to any who stood in her way. Luckily for everyone else, the hall was vacant. Given the hour, that was to be expected. Her report wasn't due until the morning, but she'd rather get it over with. Hopefully, it would take her mind off the debacle she'd just come from.

The moment Ironwood called for her to enter, she nearly slammed the door open, marching through it as she tried – and failed – to school her face back into a neutral look. Ironwood spotted it easily enough, but knew better than to question her at the moment.

"General. I'm ready to make a report on this evening's mission. Our lead didn't pan out. Jack Corvus was actually–"

"Qrow Branwen. Yes, I know." Winter paused confused at her superiors knowledge of the event. "Take a seat, Specialist." Winter followed the order, finally noticing the stack of papers in front of the general. "Your team already sent me their report."

Winter paled as she hurriedly snatched the small communication device from her ear. She wanted to scream as she noticed it was still operational, meaning her entire squad had heard every moment of her disastrous evening.

"I've also been contacted by our friends at the Vale News Network. Seems Lisa Lavender wants a statement on the _fight_ at Clemens this evening."

That wasn't good. Ironwood hated dealing with the press, especially the sensationalists. Lisa Lavender was pretty much his worst nightmare in that regard. "Sir, I can explain."

"Good! Because I told her _you_ would answer her questions." Ironwood's glare made it clear such was not a suggestion. "She also seemed to believe you were married and wanted to know if I was jealous."

Winter gulped, both in fear of Ironwood and dread at having to deal with the famous reporter.

"I also have a rather angry restaurant owner demanding payment for damages. It seems the Schnee family have made quite an impression on the man."

"I will handle that personally." Even if she was no longer the heiress of the SDC, she was still covered by the family insurance policies to a degree. Using it would mean dealing with Father, but she'd rather face him than an angry Ironwood.

"See that you do. I also assured Ozpin that you would apologize to Qrow for your behavior."

"Apologize to _him_? But sir, he started it!" If anything, Qrow owed her an apology.

"My report says _you_ attacked first," Ironwood pointed out. When she failed to refute it, he pushed on. "I will be accompanying you to meet with Ozpin to ensure you conduct yourself properly." In other words, he didn't trust her not to lash out at Qrow again.

"Yes, sir." Winter accepted her fate, knowing there was no way out.

"Good! And before you go," Ironwood said as he bent over, lifting a vase of roses from behind his desk. "These arrived for you moments ago."

Winter angrily snatched the small card from the flowers, eyes burning into the note.

_Happy Anniversary, Snookums!_

* * *

**Really enjoyed writing this chapter. Been trying to think of a way to keep Hopkins active without going too serious. A comedic jailbreak was a little weird to write, but I think I pulled it off. If nothing else, Qrow and Winter saved it.**

**Also, in case the reference wasn't obvious enough, we've got Marv coming in from Home Alone. Great pair of movies that my wife and I watch every year at Christmastime. The other movies by that name are an abomination and will never enter my household.**

**Finally, for anyone curious about Qrow's fake name (because I honestly obsess over such details), Jack is a reference to jackdaw - a type of crow and a distinctive yellow tree (bonus points for the color rule!). Corvus is the genus that crows belong to. Did I just give Qrow the name Crow Crow? Absolutely.**


	11. Lady and the Tramp

**Glad people enjoyed last week's chapter. Had a lot of fun with Qrow and Winter. One of my favorite chapters, by far.**

* * *

Honey's pen tapped nervously against the desk, pausing occasionally to make some note before resuming its droning cadence once more. The repetitive staccato slowly chipped away at Lilly's patience until she was flinching with each strike. Finally, she'd had enough.

"Are you done?" Lilly angrily demanded, slamming her book shut.

"Huh?" Honey jumped at the eruption, eyes slightly glazed over from her focus.

"The tapping," Lilly growled, stomping over to snatch Honey's pen from her. "That infernal tapping. What could possibly be more important than my sanity?"

Cheeks reddening, Honey leaned over to give Lilly a view of her notebook. A list of names dominated most of the page, though most had been scratched out. She recognized a few. _Sky. Fox. Nolan. _All students she'd either met or researched for the Tournament during all her extra time recently. Several more were unknown to her.

With the aggravating beat finally removed, her curiosity took over. "Whatcha workin' on?"

"Still trying to find a date for Blake."

"Again?" _Hasn't she suffered enough?_ "The two of you haven't given up on that yet?"

"Nope. We can't leave an unsatisfied customer." Despite their surprisingly successful track record, their failure on Blake continued to bother the matchmaking duo. Why Blake would even agree to let them try again was a mystery. "I'm gonna keep at it even if it kills me."

_Or until Blake does._ Personally, Lilly didn't think it was that hard. _Just stick her with Sun and get it over with._ Sun seemed like a really nice guy. He clearly idolized Blake. _And those abs._

"Besides," Honey continued, turning back to her notes, "I'm getting some help on this one."

"You and Randi couldn't handle it yourself?" Lilly mockingly asked.

"No," Honey adamantly denied. Lilly arched an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe. To be fair, this is a lot harder than it looks. It's not like we're pulling names from a hat or anything."

_Could've fooled me_. "So who's this expert advisor of yours?"

"Ruby."

"Ruby?"

"Yes. Ruby." _Surely, she's joking._ The girl who had just gone on her first date – with Torchwick, no less – was their secret weapon? Lilly couldn't think of anyone less suited to the task.

"Blake's doomed."

"Hey! She's not that bad!" Honey rushed to her friend's defense. "In fact, she says she already has an idea. Besides, who would know Blake better than her team leader?"

_She's not wrong._ At the end of the day, it wasn't Lilly's problem. She planned to enjoy her afternoon in town with Smit. If Honey wanted to waste her day trying to find a match for Blake, then so be it.

"Wait. Isn't Randi helping?"

"She's…busy."

"Busy?" It seemed a little unfair to Lilly that her partner was stuck dealing with their toughest client alone. _Plus, Randi loves this stuff. What could possibly be so important?_

"Yeah. Ever since her date, she's been acting kind of weird."

_Date? _That was the first she'd heard of it. "So she's ditching you to sneak off with her new guy, eh?" Lilly needed to find out everything she could about Randi's new interest. After all the needling she and Smit had endured, Lilly smelled a chance for revenge. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Ren."

_Ren? Does she have a death wish?_ Lilly knew her two female teammates had at least an interest in the reserved boy, but the threat of Nora kept them from trying anything. _And rightfully so. That girl is scary._

Some girl from Haven had made the mistake of talking to Ren before Combat Class a few weeks back. Nora had been quick to volunteer that day and asked if she could choose her opponent. No one from Beacon was surprised who she picked.

The poor girl never stood a chance.

"How'd her date go?" Lilly asked.

"I dunno," Honey shrugged. "She wouldn't tell me anything, but she sure has been spending a lot of time with Team Juniper ever since."

At that moment, Randi arrived, nearly falling through the door. The exhausted girl caught herself at the last moment, eyes wide in panic as she clutched the large box in front of her. The ominous sound of glass clinking together had her frantically checking the contents before sighing in relief.

"Where've you been all morning?" Lilly questioned as Randi set the box down on her mattress.

"Forever Fall," Randi grunted, rolling her arm back until a sharp pop rang out. Her armor – scratched and smudged in numerous places – was unceremoniously dumped on the floor the moment it retracted, revealing a sweat-soaked faunus. Randi brushed some loose hair out of her eyes.

"Forever Fall?!" Randi liked to disappear for training in the mornings, even venturing out into the Emerald Forest from time to time to hunt Grimm. But Forever Fall? That was quite a trip for a simple hunt. There were more Grimm there, but it was the same types as they had nearby. "Why?"

"Nora was out of sap again," Randi answered.

"Why not just buy some from town?"

"Nora can tell the difference." _Nora sure is picky._ "Anyways, I'm gonna grab a shower before–"

"Oh, Randi!" Nora's cheerful voice rang out from across the hall. "My pancakes aren't gonna make themselves!"

Randi's shoulders sagged in defeat as she looked longingly at the bathroom door. Slowly, she turned away, grabbing her heavy box once more before beginning her march of despair out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Lilly asked as their teammate departed.

"Like I said," Honey shrugged, "she's been really weird lately."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

The elevator ride was silent, though that wasn't unusual. The awkwardness hanging in the air, though? That was new.

"Sir, are you certain this is necessary?" Winter asked yet again, desperately hoping for a last-second reprieve from the embarrassment looming at the end of their ride.

Ironwood had been in an unusually foul mood that morning. News of last night's prison break hadn't set well with him, especially once he discovered that Hopkins had been freed. Even if such proved Ironwood's suspicions had been correct, knowing their spy now ran free within the city somewhat ruined the moment.

"We must all be held responsible for our actions, Specialist." Ironwood's cold answer sealed her fate. Winter silently prayed that the elevator would break down. Being trapped for a few hours would be better than dealing with _him_. Heck, at this point, she'd even take a swift plunge down the elevator shaft. Such an end had to be a more merciful fate.

Sadly, fate had clearly conspired against her as they uneventfully arrived at their destination. The doors parted to reveal Headmaster Ozpin's office. The man himself sat stoically at his desk. Apologizing to their close ally for failing to adequately communicate would be embarrassing, but manageable. Such mistakes happened and would serve as an important lesson in the future.

It was the other occupant of the room that worried her.

"About time you two showed up," Qrow chuckled, taking a long sip from his ever-present flask. "Hey, Snookums. Did'ya miss me?"

_Only by a few inches,_ Winter lamented to herself. If her rapier had struck true, they might've been spared this little meeting.

"Qrow, be nice," Ozpin instructed. Winter couldn't imagine the amount of patience the Headmaster must possess to deal with the imbecile so frequently. "James. Winter. Thank you both for coming."

"Ozpin," Ironwood nodded. "Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet with us. We'll try to keep this brief."

Winter could've hugged the general for that. He'd set the stage for her to get this over with and get out, rather than deal with some long, drawn out foolishness. Disappointed as he was with her mission, he didn't seem keen on making her suffer further.

"Nonsense! I always have time for a friend. In fact, my schedule is rather clear this morning." The knowing grin Qrow shot Ozpin proved they were in cahoots. "Please, take all the time you need."

_Dang it, Ozpin!_

"In that case, I believe Specialist Schnee wished to speak with you in regards to our recent investigation." Ironwood stepped aside, surrendering the floor to her. His stern gaze silently reminded her of his instructions. "Specialist?"

"Thank you, sir." Winter refused to let them see just how she felt. Qrow would not be allowed to have that satisfaction. Instead, Winter took a deep breath, held it, then slowly released as she felt some of the tension fade away. _I can do this. It's just a stupid apology._ Not that Qrow deserved one. _I'll just focus on Ozpin and my failure to coordinate efforts. If I'm lucky, I won't–_

"We're waiting."

And just like that, her calm was shattered by the hated voice.

"Right," Winter coughed, sparing a quick glare at Qrow before steadying herself once more. "Headmaster. As you know, we recently began investigating the so-called Beacons of Love service after one of your students had an encounter with Roman Torchwick."

"As did we," Ozpin nodded, glancing to Qrow.

"As part of that effort, I enlisted the aid of one your students in crafting a fake profile. It was our hope that such could be used to identify any other false identities and potentially root out Torchwick without exposing your students to further harm."

"Great plan," Qrow snorted, "except for the part where you used a student as bait."

"Miss Viella was never in any danger," Winter shot back.

"Be that as it may," Ozpin cut in before things could escalate, "I would've appreciated notice of my student's inclusion in your operation."

"Yes, sir," Winter acknowledged. "I apologize. As the one in charge of last night's mission, I accept full responsibility for the outcome. I assure you I will strive to maintain better communication in the future."

"Which brings us to the night in question. Now, as I understand it, you and Qrow were matched on this dating site, were you not?"

"Our profiles were," Winter quickly clarified. The very thought of her being sent on a date with that drunken slob threatened to summon her breakfast from her.

"And how did your _date_ go?"

"I know I enjoyed it," Qrow smiled.

"Poorly," Winter growled. "Qrow nearly exposed my tactical team, then proceeded to antagonize me after I requested that he leave."

"Was that before or after you attempted to strangle him?"

Ozpin's question took all the wind out of her sails. "B-before, sir."

"Couldn't keep her hands off me."

"How dare–"

"I'll have to ask that you save your flirting until after our meeting," Ozpin requested, smiling in a way that made Winter want to reenact the previous evening.

"Exactly why were you there, Qrow?" Ironwood asked, shifting focus back to her obnoxious rival.

"Me?" Qrow wiped his mouth and stowed his flask. "Well, unlike _someone_ here," Winter wished she could rip his mocking eyes out, "I was worried about Honey. She's friends with my nieces, after all."

"Worried about her? What made you think she was in danger?"

"Oh I dunno, maybe that someone was using her information online to score a date with me?" Winter winced at how bad that sounded. "Or maybe it was the truckload of armed men hiding nearby. Take your pick."

"So, naturally," Winter needed to turn things around, and fast, "you felt the best course of action was to risk exposing our investigation by confronting me?"

"I was just there for dinner at that point, love," Qrow smirked. "Figured I'd let you know not to waste your time waiting any longer. Not my fault you went all crazy and ruined the evening."

"You started it!"

"Is that so?" Ozpin asked. "My sources identified _you_ as the one to initiate combat. Perhaps I was misinformed."

Winter knew lying would be pointless. If it was her word against Qrow, she doubted anyone would side against her, but their _altercation_ hadn't exactly been in private. "N-no, sir. I was the one to actually attack first, but he–"

"He what, Winter? I'm sure you had an excellent reason for risking the safety of so many civilians."

"Yeah, Winter," Qrow said, echoing the Headmaster. "Tell him."

Winter muttered a response.

"What's that, dear?" Qrow needled. "I don't think we heard you."

"He called me Snookums!"

The room fell silent as the words echoed. Winter knew it wasn't a good reason, but he had just been so…_aggravating_! She liked to think of herself as a patient woman, but even _she_ had her limits.

"Ah, well, I can see how that would justify such a violent response. Wouldn't you agree, James?"

"And on our anniversary," Qrow whined.

"I swear, Qrow, I will–"

"Specialist," Ironwood ordered, silencing her in an instance. "Ozpin, I can assure you this will not happen again."

"See that it doesn't," Ozpin insisted. The two older men ignoring them made Winter feel like they were apologizing for the behavior of children. Such a low assessment of maturity might befit Qrow, but she felt humiliated. "Our Kingdoms must work together to ensure the peace and safety of our citizens. As we are both working towards the same goals, I believe it is in our best interest to cooperate on this investigation. Wouldn't you agree, Winter?"

"Absolutely. I would be happy to–"

"Wonderful!" Ozpin interrupted. "In that case, I look forward to seeing what you and Qrow can uncover."

"Me and…" Winter couldn't finish her sentence as reality crushed her hopes and dreams in an instant.

"As you are both leading the investigations, it only makes sense that the two of you combine forces to root out any potential dangers, be it Torchwick or some other individual. I assume this won't be a problem, will it?"

"Sir, I–"

"Not at all," Ironwood answered for her. "I assure you that I have absolute confidence in Specialist Schnee's ability."

"Excellent!" Ozpin cheered. "In that case, I believe we should dismiss them both to begin planning how best to combine efforts. Perhaps the two can discuss matters over a meal, though," Ozpin smiled smarmily, "I might recommend somewhere other than Clemens. It seems you two made quite an impression on the owner."

"We'll get right to it," Qrow agreed, making his way to the elevator.

Winter looked to Ironwood for help, but he merely narrowed his eyes, condemning her to Ozpin's cruel punishment. Reluctantly, Winter joined her new partner in the elevator. _This can't be real! It must be some awful nightmare of something._ When pinching her arm failed to free her of the horrid dream, she tried again.

"So," Qrow spoke as the elevator began its descent, "where you wanna eat, Snookums?"

All across Beacon, birds hastily fled the campus as a lone scream rang out from the tower.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"What was _that_?" Blake asked herself as she walked down the street. Even without her faunus ears, she could've easily picked up the wretched wail of some poor soul. _Sounds like it came from Beacon._ She had to wonder if someone had been cornered by her partner's puns.

Ignoring her mounting curiosity, Blake double-checked the message on her scroll. Yet again, it seemed Beacons of Love had a match for her. Admittedly, her last match had been better than her first, but only because the first one was Adam. She'd heard more cat puns at Clemens than anyone should be forced to endure in a lifetime. She could only hope their new attempt would prove better.

One of the only reasons she'd agreed to try again was Honey's promise that they had brought in some sort of expert to help. Maybe this time would be different.

It wasn't lost on her that she'd thought the same last time.

Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Rather than a formal dinner date, they'd arranged for something more casual, which suited Blake just fine. She wasn't big on fancy events. A walk in the park sounded so much better than dinner. If things went well, they could always grab a bite to eat afterwards, but there wasn't any pressure this way. Plus, a walk didn't have to last long, unlike dinner. If they didn't click, she'd just walk a little faster and get to the end.

_They're trying_, she reminded herself. Even if they weren't doing a great job, the fact that her friends were so invested in her happiness was touching. She just wished their success matched their level of interest.

The next corner would bring her in view of the park. Her date should already be there, waiting at the entrance. She still had no idea who they'd matched her with this time, but the limited details they'd given her were promising. _Loves books. Enjoys long walks. Outgoing. Great listener._ The list went on and on. Sure, there was a lot more to a relationship than a few desirable traits, but it was a good start. Even better, she couldn't think of anyone that matched the limited description, so she wouldn't have to worry about another Yang evening.

Which is why she felt a little disappointed at who was waiting for her.

"Ruby?"

"Oh, there you are!" Ruby excitedly cheered as Blake approached.

Looking around, Blake quickly noticed the lack of anyone else. "Please tell me you're not my date." _Guess Weiss is next._ Might as well go for the whole set.

"N-no!" Ruby quickly denied, much to Blake's relief. She really didn't want to explain to Yang that she'd dumped her for her sister. "I helped Honey set you up!"

"You?" Ruby was their expert? Part of her wanted to run right there and then, but then again, Ruby could prove her salvation. Her team knew her better than anyone else did. While she knew better than to trust Yang with such a responsibility, Ruby seemed a reasonable alternative. At the very least, her overwhelming desire to please her team might work in Blake's favor.

"So, you ready for your big date?"

"I guess," Blake answered, still a little unsure. Ruby choosing to hide her date had her on edge a little. _Maybe he's just shy._ At this point, she'd come too far to back out now. All she could do was trust her leader.

"Good! Here you go!"

Blake looked down at her hand, spotting the bright leash Ruby had just handed her. Leaning to the side, she finally caught sight of the little monster.

"Zwei?"

"Arf!"

"Yep!" Ruby turned to leave before Blake could think to react. "Make sure to have him back before nine. Oh, and if he has to go, there's a few baggies attacked to the leash."

"Ruby, I–"

"Don't worry. You'll be fine!" Ruby categorically ignored her attempt at protest. "You two have fun!"

Blake reached out for Ruby's hood, but wound up with nothing but rose petals as Ruby shot away with her Semblance, leaving her and the hellhound alone. _She'll pay for this. They'll all pay!_

Resigned to her fate, she slowly turned toward her date. "Well, at least you can't be worse than my last two."

Blake froze as she felt something warm run down her leg, eyes widening at the horrid sight.

"Ruby!"

* * *

**Alternate Title: The Princess and the Pupper**

**Even Ruby can't seem to get it right. Then again, forcing Blake to get along with Zwei while also foisting her chore onto someone else is genius.**

**More Qrow and Winter. Hadn't really planned to bring them back, but then again, Hopkins was never planned at all. Characters just sort of take over sometimes.**

**Found a new site to discuss RWBY and potentially promote In RWBY's Shadow. Amino Apps has a RWBY page that's pretty active. Mostly RPers, but a good mix of RWBY fans. Really enjoying some of the discussions and polls. If you are on there, make sure to keep an eye out for my daily posts. Always love the extra interactions.**


	12. Tall, Dark, and Delicious

**Rough week. Computer had a conniption this morning and refused to work when I needed it most. Currently on day three of a nasty migraine. So ready for this week to be over.**

**Despite all that and more, we still get another chapter of Beacons of Love. Pretty weird looking ahead and planning how to wrap up the random storylines in the final chapters. Only three left after this one. Hope it's brought you a few laughs along the way.**

* * *

When Honey and Randi first launched Beacons of Love, they'd never imagined how popular it would become. One of them was always logged in, doing their best to keep up with the ever-growing list of applicants eager for their help. Pairing students was relatively easy most of the time. Matching civilians went okay. But there was one clientele she still felt a little uncomfortable with.

"Got another oldie," Randi commented as she pulled up a profile.

At first, the handful of adults had gone unnoticed. They weren't gonna match a student with someone old enough to be their parent, and there were plenty of young people to focus on. Unfortunately, that just led to more and more adult profiles being pushed back, until the pair had found themselves with a massive stack of unmatched individuals. It seemed like every other profile they found now was older. The singles in their thirties weren't too awkward to work with.

The nursing home accounts, however….

"How old?" Honey asked.

"Doesn't say, but I'm guessing middle-aged," Randi answered, scrolling through details. _Thank goodness._ Honey wasn't really in the mood to do another granny account. "Seems we've got a Huntress on our hands."

"Really?" They didn't have a lot of Huntsmen sign up for their service. The students might be shy, but it seemed the experienced Huntsmen weren't exactly lacking in confidence. Either that, or they were too proud to let a bunch of kids sort things out for them. "Lemme see."

Randi scooted out of the way for her teammate. Honey quickly scanned through the relevant information. The photo was some picturesque beach scene, leaving them little to go on. _At least she gave us some details in her bio._

_Shanti Conner. Tall. Faunus. Visiting from Mistral._ Not much to go on, but they'd dealt with worse. The mention of Huntsman training helped. While Honey jotted down what she felt were useful tidbits, Randi did what she did best.

"Seems a little shy," Randi offered, reading between the lines a little bit. The lack of picture, limited details, and preferred dating venues spoke more than Shanti's own description did. Randi leaned over Honey's shoulder to point out another detail. "Probably hold off on Clemens this time around."

"That's what I was thinking," Honey agreed. Several details hinted at her not really liking crowds. While Clemens wasn't packing people in shoulder-to-shoulder, they'd seen a pretty steep rise in popularity lately. Honey liked to think they'd played a part in that. "Maybe a smaller diner?"

"Café," Randi countered. "Doesn't really strike me as a formal meal type of gal. I'm thinkin' something quick and easy will be more her style."

"Fair enough," Honey agreed, immediately thinking of the café they'd tracked Blake and Sun to months ago. _Perfect._ Unlike Clemens, she wouldn't need to arrange a reservation, so that was one less thing to worry about. "So, who we settin' her up with?"

"Hmm..." Randi hummed, adding filters to her list of male profiles to narrow things down a bit as she thought out loud. "A little old for the students. Probably prefer a Huntsman. Maybe someone who's traveled a lot." With each specification, the list continued to shrink until only a few names remained. "What about Ruby's Uncle?"

"Qrow?"

"Yeah, him." Sure enough, Qrow Branwen's name remained on the list. As much as Honey felt he might work, she knew better.

"Better not," Honey advised. "He's…sorta taken."

"Really? Who?"

"Weiss's sister," Honey specified, much to Randi's surprise. "You know how I was helping Winter with her investigation? Well, Qrow showed up instead. They told me I could go and had dinner together. Then, yesterday, I saw them at another diner. Sounded pretty serious. He even called her…" Honey grimaced as she forced the word out, "Snookums."

"I thought they were just searching for Torchwick."

"Me too!" Honey concurred. "But I guess they really hit it off at dinner."

"Wow. Qrow and Winter. Who'd've thought?" Randi paused for a moment, before typing a command into the computer. Qrow's smiling face vanished in an instant. "Guess I'd better remove his profile, then."

Honey nodded her approval. Their job was to help people start a relationship, not ruin an existing one. They'd leave the fake profiles the two were using for their investigation, but sending Qrow on an _actual_ date was out of the question. Weiss would never forgive them if they caused a rift in her sister's new relationship like that. A shame, as he would've made a good match for their current bachelorette.

"I've got an idea, but it's a bit of an odd one." Randi brought up the last profile on the list, where a familiar face cracked a slight smile. He often looked like that, as if he was privy to some hidden joke that no one else got.

"Him?"

"Absolutely," Randi affirmed. "Hey, they need dates, too. Besides, I think he's perfect for her."

"We don't even know that much about her," Honey protested. "What if they don't get along?"

"Come now, Honey. Have you ever seen him _not_ get along with someone?" _Not really,_ Honey silently conceded. "He's pretty laid back, likes to laugh, has travelled all over Remnant…honestly, he checks pretty much all the boxes."

"I guess so." It wasn't that she doubted Randi. It was just…she'd never really considered him the dating type. Now that she thought about it, though, that seemed a little unfair. "Alright, let's do it!"

"That's the spirit!" Randi cheered, quickly confirming the match and typing out messages to both of them. "By the way, how did Blake's date go?"

A loud hiss sounded through their wall, followed by excited barking. Honey winced. "Maybe getting Ruby involved was a mistake."

"Are those two at it again?" Weiss's muffled voice demanded.

"Blake, be nice!"

"I'll get the spray bottle."

"You hear that, mutt? They're gonna sp- Yang!" Blake suddenly shrieked.

"Bad Blake! Bad! Play nice with your boyfriend."

A chorus of thumps and shouts rumbled around their neighbors' room as Randi gave Honey a questioning look. Above all the racket, Blake's voice rang out, "He's not my- gah! Stop spraying me with that! And you!" A happy bark answered her. "We're not together, so stop trying to climb on my bed!"

Honey shrugged as the chaos continued. "Lover's quarrel."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

_Finally. A little piece and quiet._

Weiss sighed happily at the relative silence of the library. Their room was noisy at the best of times, but Blake's recent antics had been too much for her. A few hours reading in the library would be a welcome relief. She also valued the solitude so she could read the book she'd spotted last time.

A quick glance around the room showed the coast was clear. The few inhabitants of the library were far enough away and busy with their own activities. She quietly slipped into the Romance aisle, zeroing in on _Cold Heart / Hot Love_. Her hand shakily reached out for the enticing tome…

Weiss froze as a hated voice rang out from nearby, "I never would've expected that." She bolted away from the book, nearly stumbling into the shelf behind her. _Whitley._ She turned, dreading the smug look that would await her.

No one was there.

"Oh, yes. He even sent her flowers! It was all very romantic."

_Penny?_

Weiss crept to the end of the aisle, peering out in the direction the voices had come from. Her eyes zeroed in on the pair. Her brother sat at a table off to the side with Penny. Surprisingly, he didn't seem too upset at the company. And by that, she meant he wasn't running way, hiding in a closet, or leaping through the nearest window.

Her spying didn't go unnoticed. "Oh, hello Weiss!" Penny cheerfully greeted, waving her over. Doing her best to scold her face back into a friendly expression, Weiss ventured over to their table.

"Sister," Whitley greeted, though not as coldly as she was accustomed to. In fact, he almost sounded pleasant for once.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Whitley and I are discussing some of the latest rumors around Beacon," Penny answered. "It is quite a fun activity."

"Indeed. In fact, Penny was just informing me of my dear sister's new relationship."

_Dang it, Penny!_ She was supposed to distract Whitley from her and Flynt, not fill him in. "You _told_ him?"

Penny looked horrified. "I was not aware it was a secret. I shall have to apologize to Winter when I next encounter her."

"Winter?"

"I too was surprised at the news," Whitley admitted, "But Penny says they've already been on two separate dates and have been spending a substantial amount of time together."

_Winter's dating someone?_ Surely, they were wrong. Winter would've told her if she'd started seeing someone, wouldn't she? _Then again, I haven't really spoken with her recently._ All of her free time had been spent with her _own_ boyfriend. Could she really fault her sister for doing the same?

"So, the two of you are just sitting around gossiping now?"

"Pretty much," Whitley admitted.

Well, this was new. Weiss needed to know more. "Penny, can I speak with you for a moment? Privately?" she added, not wanting Whitley to listen in.

"Certainly!" Penny enthusiastically agreed. Before following Weiss, however, she made sure to address Whitley. "I shall be back in a few minutes, friend. Perhaps we can continue our conversation once I am finished with your sister?"

"I'd like that."

It took Weiss a moment to recover from the oddness of her brother acting like…well, a pleasant person. His words weren't dripping with hidden meaning. There was no secret agenda. Heck, he actually looked to be genuinely enjoying himself.

As soon as the two were out of earshot, Weiss asked, "What happened to Whitley?"

"Oh no, Weiss, is there something wrong?" Penny glanced back in the direction of the youngest Schnee sibling. "He appeared to be in perfect health this morning."

"No, not that. It's just…" Weiss tried to find a nice way to put it before remembering exactly whom she was talking about. "He's not being a jerk. Plus, I thought he was scared of you."

"Not any longer. His initial rejections were likely a result of me moving at too high of a rate of speed." _Someone really needs to teach this girl how to speak normally._ "As such, I have decided to adjust my approach and have successfully infiltrated the friend zone. He seems far more comfortable with our new relationship status, which I believe will make escalation of our interactions much more successful in the future."

"Friends?" Whitley didn't have friends. Like Father, he was friendly with people as long as they were useful to him. Relationships served as nothing more than a distraction and a liability. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, friend Weiss. He appears to genuinely enjoy my company and even sought me out this morning of his own accord."

"Really?" Weird enough that he tolerated Penny's presence, but to hear that he actually _wanted_ to spend time with the strange girl? A Schnee didn't put in that kind of effort for someone beneath them – which, according to Father, was everyone. "And you're okay with this?"

"Absolutely! While I admit that I still intend to pursue a more intimate relationship with your brother," Weiss struggled not to gag at Penny's words, "I am content to start slow. After all, if I am to become his girlfriend, than achieving a status of friend means I am already halfway there!"

_She's not wrong._ While she'd miss watching her snobby little brother cower in fear of a girl, Penny's new approach still kept Whitley busy. Plus, what if she actually managed to turn him into a normal person? Maybe a good woman was all he really needed.

"As long as you're okay with it…"

"I am more than okay with it," Penny assured her. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must return to Whitley. We are to discuss which couples we would put in a boat." Weiss could only shake her head as Penny skipped away, softly humming, "I am just a love machine, and I will not work for anybody but you…"

_It's official. The world is coming to an end._ Whitley acting normal. Winter in a relationship. Blake dating Zwei.

_Truly, the end of days._

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Spoons clinked in mugs. Customers quietly chatted about nothing at all. An expresso machine spat out an extra helping of caffeine. Beyond the windows dividing the café from Vale proper, life rushed by. But here, everything slowed down a little, providing a brief moment of calm bliss to the few who sought refuge from the bustle of city life.

In the midst of it all sat Shanti Conner.

Or rather, the person pretending to be Shanti Conner.

Travelling all the way to Vale had been a real chore. She already had the fake identity – one of many she'd secured over the years – but leaving her base in Mistral on such short notice meant a ton of paperwork. On top of that, she'd been forced to find someone to stand in for her while she was gone. She hadn't even made it to the airship before her replacement called with another asinine question. Then she'd had to deal with Mister Sunshine himself upon arrival.

But such was the life of a revolutionary, Sienna Khan reminded herself as she adjusted the sleeves of the jacket concealing her striped arms. After having to take Adam to task the last few days, she really needed this. She also appreciated that no one seemed to care about the feline ears atop her head. _If more places were like this, I might be able to retire._

After hearing some disturbing reports of Adam's recent actions in Vale, she'd come to set him straight and clean up his mess a bit. She felt like the brooding moron was still hiding something, but since when was that new? She'd jumped at his request to oversee the Vale operations, eager for the opportunity to send him as far away as possible. If she'd known his equally-moody ex was at Beacon, though, she'd have mailed him to the heart of the deepest desert in Vacuo.

_Such things can wait._ She was here to enjoy herself. Being the head of the White Fang afforded her few opportunities for a dating life. Most of the men she encountered were too intimidated being around their boss. The few that weren't tended to be more like Adam – borderline psychopaths. Yet another downside of becoming militant. _Maybe Ghira had it right._ She somewhat envied him for having a simpler life.

And she envied Kali even more for having Ghira.

The Beacons of Love message had spoken of an experienced Huntsman coming to have coffee with her. Sure, he was a little older than her, but that didn't matter too much. Dating someone even five years older would be weird in your teens, but fast forward a decade, and it was normal. Numbers became less meaningful as your own increased.

Either way, his age wasn't the problem. Nor was the distance with him being in Vale and her always busy in Mistral.

No. The real problem was that he was late.

When her date failed to show at the appointed hour, she'd brushed it off as a traffic issue. Fifteen minutes late, she just thought he got turned around or something. Half an hour had her assuming his Huntsman duties kept him a little long.

But as the delay eclipsed the hour mark, she started to lose hope. The coffee and cake were good, but they would've been so much better with company. The minute hand of the nearby clock continued chipping away at her confidence. The waitress, whom Sienna had proudly informed of her date when asking for a table for two, shot her a pitying look as she asked if Sienna wanted another refill.

"N-no, thank you," Sienna answered, sparing a grateful smile to the waitress. "I think I'll go now."

"His loss," the young girl offered, her bunny ears twitching slightly as they towered over her.

The stack of lien Sienna handed over grew a little with that comment. "Keep the change." Part of her did it to support another faunus, but mainly she figured _someone_ should have a good day, even if it wasn't her. She'd really been looking forward to a quiet meal and discussion with someone who _wasn't_ looking to overthrow humanity. Sort of a breath of fresh air, if you will. Instead, she slowly trudged out the door, sparing one finally glance back into the diner as the hectic city awaited her.

The sad reflection looking back at her only lasted a moment. With a deep breath, she steadied herself once more, clinging to the simple comment of her waitress.

It _was_ that guy's loss! Sienna was a catch by any guy's standards, and she knew it. She had the type of passion for her ideals that put others to shame. Ambition that threatened to swallow the whole world if needs be. She'd worked hard to become the woman she was today, and she wouldn't let some _loser_ who couldn't even bother to show up say otherwise.

Dark. Strong. Exotic. Everything a man could want and more!

Head held high, Sienna pushed into the crowd, delighting in how her sheer confidence made others give way before her. She never looked back.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Dark. Strong. Exotic. Everything a man could want and more," Ozpin sighed into his fresh mug of coffee. The warm liquid teased his lips open once more before lovingly caressing his throat as he emptied yet another large mug.

He'd been a little apprehensive about letting his students arrange a date for him at first. Only once they'd assured him it wouldn't be some student – what a scandal that would be – did he agree. They'd promised him a relaxing afternoon with a wonderful companion.

The truth proved far better than he could've ever imagined.

"S-sir, are you finished?" the waitress asked for at least the tenth time. Convincing her to leave an entire pitcher of the delicious beverage had been difficult, but being Headmaster of Beacon came with privilege. Plus, the shiny Beacon business card tended to clear up concerns just as quickly. The foolish girl made the mistake of assuming his silence affirmation as she reached for his nearly empty pitcher.

"No!" Ozpin snapped, snatching the beloved drink from her. "It is mine, I tell you." Eyes wide, the waitress slowly backed away, leaving him alone once more with his darling drink. His hand gently caressed the hot metal, savoring the warmth that it imparted to him. "My own. My love. My _precious_."

* * *

**One beverage to rule them all.**

**Before anyone jumps into the comments to remind me, yes, I do know that canon Ozpin drinks hot cocoa. But I will always know him as fanfic Ozpin, with an unhealthy coffee obsession. You know, back before we got answers and had to guess at everything. Such fun times.**

**As usual, time for a breakdown of the new name. Shanti Conner. Since Sienna Khan is an obvious reference to The Jungle Book, I stuck with that. Shanti is the name of the girl at the end of the Disney version (named in the sequel, which I regret ever watching). Conner is just a cheap reference to Khan (spelling it Khanner would've been weird and too obvious). As much as I wanted to include someone yelling "Khan!" at some point, I resisted the urge and gave her a fake name. This one was easier than usual, luckily.**

**Meanwhile, we've got trouble in paradise for Blake and Zwei, Whitley and Penny looking like an actual couple, and rumors of Winter's new boyfriend swirling around Vale. I think Weiss might have it right. The end is near! Repent!**

**Also, as another side note, _Cold Heart / Hot Love_ is the book in RWBY Chibi that Qrow snags before Winter can read it. Figured that would fit better than _Another Pun, Yums and Nums_, or _How to Arm Yourself_.**

**Lastly, if anyone's interested, I've started being rather active on the Amino App page for RWBY. Would love to see a few of you there. Same profile name to make it easy to find me.**


	13. Crappiest Date Ever

**Back again with some more ridiculousness, though the first half of this chapter is a little more serious. Necessary evil of dealing with Neptune's storyline. Hoping the second half makes up for the lack of comedy at the start. We'll be back to normal next week. Unfortunately, the week after that will be the end.**

**Also, thank you to both bookwyrm321 and Cchang3 for catching my typo near the middle of the chapter. Grateful to have such diligent readers who can catch the mistakes that make it through editing. Rest assured, no one is pining after Mercury in this chapter. Only Neptune. Doh!**

* * *

"You sure about this, man?" Sun asked as the hour drew near. "I mean, what if she doesn't show?"

"She'll be here," Neptune dutifully replied, nervously adjusting his tie. The cafeteria was pretty busy, but they'd gotten there early to claim a table in the corner. Now, all they had to do was wait for Olive's arrival.

_Or for her to stand him up again._ Scarlet and Sage had proven quite the detectives, leaving Sun to wonder if they should get more mustaches. All their digging had failed to turn up the mysterious girl. No one seemed to know of Olive Luri, either. Sun had a feeling today's lunch wouldn't go as planned.

"If you say so." Part of him wanted to share their findings with Neptune, but his buddy had shown an amazing ability to resist even the most obvious facts. Rather than see the light, Neptune seemed to only become _more_ stubborn in the face of Sun's proof. At this point, his only hope of discrediting Olive was to let her do it herself.

While Neptune used his scroll's camera to make tiny adjustments to his hair and outfit, Sun's eyes drifted across the room. Sage and Scarlet waited patiently a good distance away, both as eager as he to finally end this farce. As painful as it would be for Neptune, the sooner he accepted this Olive chick wasn't real, the sooner he could get over her. He'd have to see about arranging some type of team activity tonight to cheer Neptune up. They were overdue for a movie night, anyways, though he'd forego the shark movie this time. The terror might distract Neptune, but that felt a little mean at the moment.

Neptune needed his support right now. His happiness was worth more than Sun's vindication.

Neptune awkwardly looked to Sun. "It's almost time. Maybe you should–"

"Yeah, yeah. I can take a hint," Sun laughed as he rose from his seat. "You sure you two won't need a chaperone?"

"Nobody likes a tricycle, Sun." _Unicycles are worse,_ Sun silently retorted. He also didn't bother pointing out how Neptune had been the third wheel for his date with Blake. He'd been pretty bummed to hear she'd signed up for Beacons of Love. He wasn't so naïve to think a single date meant they were together or anything, but she could've at least mentioned she wanted to see other people. Instead, he'd found out from someone else.

Not that he'd given up. Sun planned to work the friendship angle and see if he could worm his way into another date. He'd considered signing up for the dating site himself and seeing if Randi and Honey would do him a favor, but that felt wrong. He wanted Blake to choose him for him, not be tricked into something.

His own love life could wait until after Neptune's disappointment. "Alright. I'll go grab some lunch with the guys. Good luck, man."

With that, Sun beat a hasty retreat to rejoin the rest of his team. "How's he holdin' up?" Sage asked as Scarlet slid a tray of food in front of Sun.

"Still thinks she's comin'."

"You can't be serious," Scarlet lamented. "What are we gonna do?"

"Nothing." Sun's instruction caught both boys by surprise. "When she doesn't show – which she won't – maybe he'll finally realize he's been played."

"How unfortunate." Sage glanced toward their lonely teammate.

Scarlet shook his head slowly. "Hope he doesn't take it too hard." Despite their efforts to discredit Olive, none of them wanted to hurt Neptune. They just wanted to stop this madness before it could hurt him more.

"That's why we're having a guy's night tonight," Sun informed them. "Sage, I need you on snack duty. Scarlet, find us a movie."

"Action?"

"Comedy. The dumber, the better." Scarlet nodded once before pulling out his scroll to do some research. "We're in full recovery mode here, people. Our man's about to go down in flame, and it's our job to pull him out of the wreckage."

Plan set in motion, all the trio could do was wait for the inevitable letdown. With baited breath, they watched as the minutes ticked past, each one further dooming their friend as he sat alone, waiting on a girl that would never come.

Five minutes.

Ten.

Fifteen.

Slowly, reality began to break through Neptune's steadfast denial. His smile faltered. His shoulders began to droop. Sun watched it all painfully unfold, knowing he had to let his friend be crushed if he ever hoped to get over this nonexistent girl. Sun nodded to his team, indicating the moment had finally come for them to swoop in.

"Wait." Sun froze, already halfway out of his seat. His eyes followed Scarlet's finger to see a girl approach Neptune.

She didn't exactly look like the pictures he'd seen, but there were some similarities. _Is it really her?_ He'd never expected anyone to show, but whoever this girl was headed straight for Neptune, who seemed to perk up as she spoke. Sun couldn't make out what they were saying from so far away, but her somewhat embarrassed smile sure looked promising. Sun fell back onto his seat as the girl sat down.

"So…we cancelling the movie?"

"Nope," Sun answered. "It's a party now, I guess." He owed his friend an apology, after all. He also owed Olive about a thousand. Tonight would be the perfect opportunity for Neptune to rub his triumph in their faces.

Despite all the oddities surrounding the girl, Sun could admit to being happy he'd been wrong. Neptune's stubborn defense had won out, it seemed. _He's gonna be over the moon._ Sun doubted they'd see much of him for the next few days, now that Olive had finally chosen to reveal herself.

Which made his somber arrival a little surprising.

"Got room for one more?" Neptune asked as he plopped down beside them. Sun could easily see through the faint smile Neptune tried to put on.

"What happened?" Sun blurted out before he could stop himself. "What about Olive?"

"You were right. She didn't show."

"But what about her?" Sun asked bewilderedly, pointing to the girl in question before noticing the two girls sitting with her.

"They asked if they could sit with me," Neptune admitted. "Told them they could have the seats."

"Oh." There wasn't much else Sun could say to that. For the briefest moment, they'd all dared to hope. That only made the disappointment worse.

"You guys up to anything this afternoon?" Neptune asked, clearly looking for a distraction. Sun nodded to the other two, grateful they'd already prepared for this eventuality.

"I found this hilarious movie," Scarlet replied, winking when Neptune wasn't looking. "You guys wanna watch it?"

"I'm game." Sun caught on immediately. No reason to let Neptune know they'd planned for his failure. "Sage. You in?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Then it's settled," Sun cheered. "Team Sun is havin' a movie night!"

"That sounds great," Neptune halfheartedly agreed. Sun knew it wouldn't be easy for his friend, but the best they could do right now was to be there for him. As goofy as they were, Team SSSN had each other's backs when it mattered most. If all went well, Olive Luri would soon be a distant memory.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Despite the horde of students crowded in the cafeteria for lunch, a young faunus sat alone, feeling like her world had just come crashing down around her. She watched mournfully as Neptune rejoined his team, a part of her yearning to call out to him before being squashed once more. _Why am I so terrified of talking to him?_

Sophie Olive Suluri – Olive, to her friends – trembled slightly as she fought back tears. Enrolling at Haven last year was meant to be her chance at a fresh start. No one there would know the shy girl from Vacuo. She'd remake herself into the confident Huntress she'd always dreamed of becoming.

Problem was, dreaming of being confident and actually _being_ confident weren't the same.

"Whatcha doin' over here?"

"Fiona!" Olive gasped at the sudden arrival of her leader. Fiona was her opposite in almost every way. Tall. Outgoing. Strong. Plenty of guys at Haven had eyes for the gorgeous girl. The same could be said about their other two girls on their team – India and Harley. That didn't leave a lot of room for Olive to stand out, and she'd soon found herself hiding behind her flamboyant team.

"Don't tell me you chickened out again, girl." The lack of Neptune beside her answered before she could stammer a denial. "I thought you'd finally decided to talk to him."

"We talk."

"In person," Fiona corrected, claiming the seat beside her with an eye roll. "He's still here. Why don't I go introduce you?"

"No!" Olive blurted out, snagging her teammate's sleeve before she could go embarrass them both. "No. I…I don't want that." How pathetic would it be to have her leader be the one to introduce her. Fiona meant well, but Olive couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing.

"Then what _do_ you want?" Fiona questioned. "Because last I checked, it was some first-year named Neptune. You already know he likes you, so what's holding you back?"

Olive watched Team SSSN get up to leave, her eyes zeroing in on the tail swishing beside Neptune. "His leader," Olive admitted. "H-he…he's always lurking nearby. It's hard enough for me to approach Neptune alone..."

"You want me and the girls to go rough him up for ya?" Fiona jokingly asked, easily getting a rise out of Olive. "Just kidding. Maybe we can distract him for you, though. Monkey boy's kinda hot."

"You have a boyfriend!"

"Had," Fiona countered. "Broke up last night." Olive wasn't even surprised. Fiona had gone through several guys already that year. She'd give anyone a chance, but no one really lasted that long.

"S-still, I don't need your help." She did, but that wasn't the point. If she wanted a chance with Neptune, she needed to do it herself. If she let someone else handle it for her, she'd be as good as resigning herself to never coming out of her shell. "I have to do this on my own."

"Whatever you say, Olive." Fiona obviously didn't agree, but Olive knew she'd honor the request. "Might wanna hurry, though. Once the Tournament ends, we're all heading home."

"We go to the same school, dummy," Olive chuckled as she shoved her leader.

"That's better." Leave it to Fiona to find a way to make her laugh. Olive was really grateful for her team, even if they could be a bit much at times. "He's already hooked. You just gotta reel him in."

Olive cringed at the stupid joke, the fins on her arms bristling slightly in agitation. "I've still got over two years," Olive reassured herself, cringing slightly at how pathetic it sounded. Still, even the small progress she'd made was a big deal for her. Maybe she could corner him back in Haven. Sun couldn't be in the way _all_ the time. Once things settled down, she was sure she'd find a chance to approach him.

She just hoped he'd still be interested at that point.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Cinder's foot tapped impatiently as she sipped her cocoa once more, enjoying the warm, chocolatey beverage. Her waitress smiled pleasantly as she passed, depositing a basket of breadsticks before silently slipping away. _The service is good here,_ she idly noted, enjoying the atmosphere of the restaurant as she waited for whatever pathetic sap she'd been matched with.

Mercury's suggestion of signing up for Beacons of Love had initially seemed foolish, but after some consideration, Cinder had decided to humor it. Staying cooped up in their room seemed like a good plan at first – the easier to control her underlings and avoid awkward situations – but their lack of involvement with the student body could've proved their undoing.

Goodwitch had come by their room a few days ago to check on them. Apparently, someone had become concerned for their team after not seeing them in a few days. She'd planned to be long gone by now, but with the delay of the Tournament, her team needed to blend in better. Mercury had assured her that most of the school had signed up for this foolish app. It provided an easy out. Plus, she wouldn't be opposed to a free dinner.

"Sorry I'm late," a young man – _no, a boy_ – apologized as he took the seat across from her before freezing as he gaped at her. He looked nice enough, but clearly recognized just how absurdly out of his league she was. Cinder confidently smirked as she tossed her head back a little, jostling her hair as she enjoyed the attention.

"It's not a problem," she hummed. She had to remind herself that she was playing the part of an insignificant student. Most of these children would be awkward messes on a first date. Others would be overly kind and generous. She chose to go for the latter. "I only arrived a few minutes ago."

Her easy demeanor seemed to help him relax as he claimed his seat. "So…Cinder, right?" _How delightfully pathetic._ If he couldn't even bother to have confidence in her name, she doubted he'd hold up well to her presence. She'd enjoy watching him squirm, if nothing else. "You're from Haven?"

"Yes. My team is here for the Tournament. Which school are you from?"

"Vale's home for me," her date answered. "We're not in the Tournament, though."

"How disappointing." _For you._ "Well, I guess we can't all make it." Her sweet smile was more at her own amusement of his failure to make the cut.

"Yeah, maybe next time," he shrugged, apparently missing the subtle insult. "But, hey, congrats on getting picked! Is your team any good?"

Any good? They were in the Tournament, despite holding back. She'd handpicked her minions for their skill and abilities. The thought that some snot-nosed Huntsman student could overcome them was laughable. "They are adequate."

"Oh, server's here," he needlessly pointed out as their waitress returned, ready to take their order. "Let's see…I think I'll go with the filet mignon. Medium rare. Fries and a baked potato. And a sweet tea. Thanks."

Cinder felt a small spike of aggravation at his rush to order food. She'd assumed he would place a drink order and peruse the menu a bit. Now, she had to hurry up and decide on what she wanted. While coming prepared was admirable, he should've at least checked if she was ready first. She'd make him pay for the mistake, quickly ordering the most expensive item on the menu. He didn't seem too upset at the turnabout, making her wonder if he was simply oblivious to the coming bill or had too much of mommy and daddy's money to care.

Their waitress hurried away with both their order and their menus, leaving the two of them to enjoy each other's company once more. So far, she wasn't really enjoying it.

"So, tell me about your team," he said between mouthfuls of bread. Cinder was forced to take a deep breath at his utter lack of manners, but did her best to remain calm on the outside.

"They are quite skilled. I am the leader, but Mercury and Emerald are quite strong." Even without the rest of the maiden power, she easily outclassed them both, but part of the plan was for them to appear stronger so she could sit out the later rounds.

"You think you guys'll win?"

"Without a doubt." Though it wasn't the Tournament she had her eyes on. No one would be crowned victor of that.

"Maybe I can cheer for you," he offered. Another might consider the offer cute, but she was not so easily impressed. "What about the other one?"

Cinder's teeth ground together as she thought of the missing member of her team. She still needed to track down that idiot Torchwick and ensure his little bodyguard played her part, even if he'd already blown his own. They'd be dealt with afterwards, but for now, Neo had a role to play. "She's…competent. Not the strongest fighter, but she serves her purpose. I– ah!"

Cinder shot back from the table as their waitress tripped, spilling her date's tea on her. Mortified, the girl yanked out a towel and began trying to dry her off. Cinder smacked her hand away, fighting for air as the thick, wet rag finally left her face. Bad enough she'd been spilled on, but there was no telling where that nasty rag had been.

"You okay?" her date asked, doing a rather poor job of concealing his chuckle. Cinder took a moment to memorize his face, vowing that he would pay when her moment of triumph came.

"I'm fine," Cinder growled, chasing their waitress away with a fierce glower. All eyes had turned to them, angering Cinder further. She was meant to be blending in with the students, not becoming a spectacle for the gaping masses of worthless morons inhabiting this soon-to-be crater of a city. She'd have to ask Watts if he could program a Paladin to demolish this infernal place when the time came. Still, she needed to calm things down. "Accidents happen."

"Guess so," he shrugged, using his napkin to dry off his part of the table rather than offer it to his sopping date. Cinder took a deep breath and sat down.

"Gah!" She missed the chair by an inch. Her butt plummeted to the hard ground beneath, even as her back smacked the edge of the chair. She felt the urge to turn her powers loose for a moment, if only to chase the muffled laughter away with the fiery glare her powers came with. Instead, she shot back up, reclaiming her seat with a grimace as the soft cushion squished under her, resoaking her backside. Anger boiled in her stomach as she desperately tried to reclaim what little dignity she could.

"That must've hurt," her future murder victim commented. The relaxing evening was shot. Instead, she'd somehow become the main event of a horrible circus. The clown across from her just made things worse.

"I will be okay," Cinder managed through clenched teeth. Her fingers began angrily drumming against the table, small wisps of steam popping up as she felt the urge to burn the place down. She reined in her mounting rage, reminding herself again that she'd have the last laugh. All she wanted was to eat her meal and then never see this buffoon again.

Speaking of the idiot. "You got a light, Cindy?"

_You have no idea._ She tucked her hand beneath the table as she snuffed out the tiny flames sprouting from her fingers. "I don't believe you can smoke in here," she pointed out as he produced a cigar.

A very _expensive_ cigar.

One she'd come to loathe thanks to a certain thief…

Her eyes narrowed at the young man across from her. She didn't recognize him, but certain details began to stick out. The way his hair fell, somewhat obscuring one eye. The cocky smirk. The lighter Emerald had once stolen out of spite.

"You!" Cinder nearly lost control of the fire raging within her as she realized who her _date_ was.

"Me!" the idiot echoed, ignoring the obvious danger he was in. "Was wondering how long you'd take. I think you're losing your edge, babe."

"Why are you here?"

"We're on a date, remember?" Roman cockily answered. "Or do you mean why am I not somewhere else? Turns out, Ironwood's not a very good host. One star. Would not stay there again."

"That wasn't up to you."

"Yeah, well, we didn't have a choice," Roman insisted. "Our cover got blown and we had to book it outta there."

"Why didn't you report in?" She could figure out a way around this new setback, but only if she knew what she was working with. Going dark helped no one.

"Sorry, Cindy, but I was kinda busy being chased by every idiot with a gun. Didn't have time to drop a postcard."

Cinder could feel her anger boiling over, rising up her chest and throat before threatening to explode on the insubordinate imbecile. She forced down the rest of her cocoa, but even the delicious drink failed to calm her down. "Whatever. You still work for me. Tell Neo she needs to report in at Beacon. We can only keep up the charade so long with three people. In the meantime, I can arrange a safehouse for you to hide at."

Or, more accurately, to monitor him. Part of the reason she'd put Roman on that battleship was to keep Neo in line. As long as she had Roman under control, Neo would bend the knee.

"No need to worry about that. I've got my own place."

"That wasn't a suggestion," Cinder growled. Coincidentally, so did her stomach, easily matching her own anger.

"Look, I don't know how to tell you this, but I think we should see other people." Roman sat back far too confidently given the inferno building across the table. "It's not you, it's…well, actually, it _is_ you."

"How far do you think you'll get without me?" Cinder demanded. "You won't even make it out of the city before I–"

Cinder cut short as the anger building inside her suddenly turned against her. Her stomach let out a final warning cry as she seized up, trying to halt the sudden southward rush that threatened to spill forth.

"I think you'll be a little busy," Roman smirked. "I can make a lot of tracks in two hours."

"Two hours?" Cinder gripped the edge of the table, the wood cracking as she tried to maintain control of the situation.

"Or three. However long you're on your _throne_. You never can tell with these things."

Cinder glared at him one final time. She briefly considered roasting him then and there, but feared releasing her control of the maiden power might unleash something far more devastating. Hunched over in pain, she promised, "You'll pay for this, Roman," before hastily waddling away to the bathrooms, bouncing off their waitress along the way.

"Actually, I think you'll be the one paying tonight, sweetheart," Roman laughed as his waitress approached, handing him a wallet as she deposited a pair of meals. "I think I'll take these to go." Mismatched eyes seemed to smile as he pulled out a stack of lien and offered it to her. "Dinner's on her, tonight. In fact, why don't you grab a few bottles of their priciest wine for me. And don't forget dessert."

By the time Cinder clawed her way back to the dining room, Roman was long gone. She collapsed into her chair, ignoring the moisture that met her once more. _That little rat will pay for this. No one says no to Cinder Fall. No one!_

Her food had vanished, leaving her nothing but a bill on the table. A quick glance at the rather lengthy receipt only intensified her hatred of the man. She couldn't afford to be causing any sort of crime right now, even something as simple as a dine and dash. Begrudgingly, she reached for her wallet…

At least things couldn't get much worse.

"Happy happy birthday, from all of us to you…"

_I'll kill him!_

* * *

**No way I would pass up a chance to send Cinder on a date. Debated about who to send her with before realizing the obvious choice here. She probably shouldn't have ordered the cocoa, though. Her silent waitress probably had a little too much fun serving her that evening.**

**Of course, leave it to me to sucker punch you in a comedy. You should all feel ashamed for hating on Olive all this time. You monsters! Just kidding. Neptune was originally gonna get catfished, but then my wife and I came up with the idea of a different type of catfish. A catfish faunus! Suluri comes from the scientific name for catfish. Olive refers to one of the common colorations of such fish. Sophie was just so I could make her initials SOS, since she clearly needs help. I really need to spend less time on these ridiculous names.**

**Again, sorry for having to do a bit of a serious chunk here, but the storyline demanded it. Was gonna do it last week, but figured I couldn't have two dates get stood up in the same chapter. I also definitely didn't spend the last several weeks making you all question Olive just so I could enjoy the inevitable turnaround later. I'd have to be pretty messed up to enjoy making my readers suffer like that.**

**If nothing else, we've learned a valuable lesson. Never trust me. Ever. That being said, we've got another date lined up for next week, along with the conclusion of another "important" storyline.**


	14. Temple of Doom

**Worst. Week. Ever. Got to ride in an ambulance for the first time Tuesday morning. Turns out, my sister gave me food poisoning this past weekend (2-5 day incubation period, so didn't hit me until Monday night). Slowly getting better, but the last few days have been agonizing. Wasn't sure I'd even get to write a chapter this week, as I've been doing almost nothing but laying around and writhing in pain the last few days. Really hoping it finishes running its course soon, as I'd love to get back to normal food and not feeling like death every evening.**

**Things might be a little quicker as a result, but I'm just grateful I had time to write at all. Still got all the major points I wanted, just a little less fluff is all.**

* * *

"Give us another chance."

"No."

"Just one more–"

"No."

"But you don't even know who–"

"I said no!" Blake spat, cutting off Honey's latest plea. "First, Adam. Then Yang, and even her mutt." Blake shivered at the memory. "You've had three tries already. According to baseball, you're out."

"But I promise this time will be different."

"That's what you said last time," Blake quickly countered. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

"Who do we blame the third time?" Randi asked.

"Yang." A muffled protest rang out from the next room. "It doesn't matter. I think I'll handle my own dates from now on."

"Because that was going so well," Randi quietly commented. The only date Blake had been on before they came along was going to the dance with Sun. A date she had to be dragged into by Yang.

"I promise this'll be the last time!" Blake paused at Honey's newest attempt. "One last date, then we'll never bother you again." When that failed to immediately persuade her, Honey upped the ante. "We'll even let you set up a date for someone else. Maybe Yang?"

Blake's eyes lit up for the briefest moment, but her smile died as she noticed Randi's tail wagging a little too excitedly. "Fine," she relented, "but only so you'll stop bothering me." Blake's eyes narrowed at Randi. "I have a feeling the other part of your offer would end poorly for me, somehow."

Randi's toothy grin was far from convincing.

"Great!" Honey cheered.

Blake held up a finger to silence her jubilation. "Instead, I have some requirements." Neither Honey nor Randi spoke, so Blake continued. "No fancy restaurants. No teammates." Yang squawked from next door. "No animals." Zwei barked in protest. "No former or current criminals." Blake waited, half-expecting a masculine voice to join in the chorus. "No classmates. In fact, I don't want it to be anyone you know personally."

"Done," Randi agreed, far quicker than Blake had anticipated. "Anything else?"

Blake seemed unsure of how to respond, quietly analyzing everything she'd required to check for any loopholes. Hesitantly, Blake eyed the eager pair of matchmakers. "I guess not…"

"It's settled, then. Your date's tonight at seven."

Blake's ears threatened to shoot out the top of her bow. "T-tonight?" Randi nodded. "You two already had something planned?"

"Of course, silly," Honey confirmed with a laugh. "You think I would've pushed so hard if we _didn't_ already have someone lined up?"

"We're professionals, Blake."

"Maybe this was a bad idea…"

"Too late!" Honey cheerfully announced. "But don't worry. It'll be fine. In fact, it's a video date!"

"A video date?"

"Yeah! Just a friendly video chat. No pressure whatsoever." Blake still didn't seem to trust them. "It can be as short or as long as you want. Just hang up when you're done."

"We even explained how busy life at Beacon can be, so they understand if you can't talk for long." Randi's reassurance seemed to help a little. "Just talk to them for a bit. See if it works. If not, tell them you have to go train for the Tournament and you can leave. Simple as that."

"What's the catch?" Blake asked suspiciously. Being an ex-terrorist had made her a little paranoid. Dealing with Randi in the past made her far more so.

"No catch," Honey assured her. "A short video chat. That's all."

Blake waited for the other shoe to drop, but nothing came. Worse, she'd already agreed, something the pair seemed unlikely to forget. "Fine, but I go alone. I'll try your video call out, but that's it. After this, I want my Beacons of Love account deleted. _Permanently_."

"Absolutely," Randi agreed. "In fact, it'll be gone within the hour. Just go to the CCT at seven and ask for terminal nine. Tell them Randi sent you and they'll take care of the rest."

Blake eyed the duo carefully before slowly retreating from the room. She hesitated at the door, giving herself a final chance to question the arrangement, before finally giving up and slipping away. Only once the door clicked shut did Honey and Randi finally relax.

"Thank goodness," Honey sighed. "For a second there, I thought she might say no."

"What are you two up to?" Lilly asked, having kept quiet during the surprise meeting in their team's room.

"Nothing…"

"Honey, you've really gotta work on your poker face," Lilly advised. "You two've struck out with Blake every time. What makes you think this one will stick?"

"We don't," Randi shrugged, somehow unconcerned with admitting their impending failure.

"What?" Lilly looked to her partner, but Honey seemed only slightly embarrassed. "You're purposefully setting her up on another bad date? Do you hate her or something?"

"No!"

"It's not like that," Randi promised, echoing her fellow matchmaker before inching closer and lowering her voice. "We…we weren't really given a choice on this one."

"Someone _threatened_ you?" The lack of a denial seemed answer enough for Lilly. "You. Miss Spars-with-Nikos. That seems like a lot of effort just to go on a date with Blake. I mean…she's attractive and all, but this seems a little much. Why couldn't you just tell them no?"

"One does not simply deny this client." Randi shuddered as she recalled the conversation with the rather intimidating individual. She'd never felt so thoroughly overwhelmed by a person's mere presence, and on a scroll call, no less! "Don't worry. Nothing bad'll happen." _Unless Blake doesn't show._ In which case, Randi would be signing up for a witness protection program within the hour. She just hoped the police could hide her from the devastation that would undoubtedly follow.

"She'll be fine," Honey added, though Randi didn't miss the added, "maybe."

It was pretty obvious Lilly didn't fully believe them, but there was also no way she'd get involved with Beacons of Love. Randi's only concern was keeping Lilly from warning Blake. Blake would survive. Randi wasn't so sure she'd make it a day if Blake failed to show. "Hey, why don't you and Smit join us for dinner at Clemens Saturday?" Randi asked, hoping to distract her leader before she accidentally doomed half the team. "We haven't really done much as a team recently. Might be nice to spend the evening together."

"You paying?"

"We'll handle everything," Randi promised, winking at Honey, who giggled in response.

"This isn't another one of your plots to force us together, is it?" Lilly demanded, eyes narrowed at the two.

"You're already together," Randi pointed out. "As far as I'm concerned, our work is done." Lilly still didn't look like she was ready to trust the scheming duo. "We'll all go together, okay? I promise there's no tricks. Just a relaxing dinner as a team. That's all."

"Please, Lilly?" Honey begged.

Lilly resisted as best she could, but denying Honey was about as easy as punting a puppy. No decent person stood a chance when Honey turned on the charm. With a deep breath, Lilly finally relented. "Fine, but no funny business, or I swear even Oobleck won't be able to identify your remains."

"Got it, boss," Randi agreed.

Lilly watched them carefully, waiting for any sign of cracking, but finally decided to trust them and went back to her reading. Randi, on the other hand, had a lot to take care of. Setting up their reservation for two days from now would be easy, but she had a feeling the day before could be rather eventful. She fired off a quick message to Coco and Velvet, asking if they could have a team meeting tomorrow evening in CFVY's room. Honey received the message as well, nodding solemnly to Randi.

They both knew what must be done.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

_Join the Atlas military. See Remnant. Change the world._

He'd believed every word of that not long ago. Private Hopkins – _well, not anymore_ – had envisioned an amazing career in the military. He'd taken on every opportunity that came his way, making a name for himself early and quickly finding his place among Ironwood's personal squad. By the time they left for Vale, he'd already been mapping out his path to becoming a Specialist and serving under Winter Schnee. He'd had his whole future planned.

And all it took was a pretty girl to derail his entire life.

"You okay there, champ?" Marv asked, handing him a flimsy bowl full of baked beans. "You look kinda down."

"It's nothing," Hopkins lied, shoveling in a spoonful of beans before hissing loudly as the heat burned the roof of his mouth.

"Careful. It's still hot," Marv advised, too late to do any good.

"I noticed." His new host wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he seemed friendly enough. It was hard to remember that Marv was a hardened criminal sometimes.

It was even harder to remember that _he_ was one, too.

"You wanna talk about it?"

_Not really_. Hopkins had watched his entire life come crashing down around him in a matter of days. First, betrayed by Neo when she broke Torchwick out. Then, arrested as an accomplice for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As if that wasn't bad enough, before he had a chance to defend himself in court, they'd broken him out of jail, making him a fugitive before he even realized what was happening. Now, he was burning his mouth on overcooked beans in some dinky house alongside a wanted criminal. He doubted talking about it would help any.

Then again, it couldn't make things worse, could it?

As the warmth of the bowl pervaded his chilled hands, Hopkins sighed and let it all out. "It's just…I never imagined it being this way, you know? I mean, I had plans. Big plans. I was going places. Then…nothing. One mistake. That's all it took. I slipped up once, and _bam_! My life is ruined."

"I know what you mean," Marv commiserated, making Hopkins perk up just a tiny bit. Maybe talking it out wasn't such a bad idea. Maybe Marv had been a stand-up guy once upon a time, but life had sucker punched him too. Maybe the two of them weren't so different, after all. "I remember the first time I got busted on a job."

And just like that, Hopkins lost his optimism.

"But it'll be okay," Marv promised. "Stuff happens. The way I see it, you can either let it get you down, or you can pick yourself back up and make the best of it."

_Make the best of it?_ That was easy to say when you were already a criminal. Hopkins had two choices at this point. He could embrace the life of crime. Marv and Harry could show him the ropes, teach him to pull off some minor jobs, and turn him into one of them. He wasn't exactly a skilled thief or anything, but he had enough physical and mental training that he could probably get by. Either that, or he'd be caught again and probably face a rather lengthy stay in some cold, dark prison in Atlas.

Or, he could turn himself in. He didn't believe for a second that things would go back to normal, but maybe he could get a shorter sentence for cooperating. Afterwards, he'd figure something out. Civilian life couldn't be that bad, could it? They might even cut him a deal if he turned in a few others. His eyes drifted over to where Marv quietly hummed through mouthfuls of beans.

_No. _It felt silly, but Marv had been the only one to help him out in his darkest hour. He wouldn't have lasted a day out there without Marv. He wouldn't repay that kindness by turning on him, even if the guy _was_ a criminal. Hopkins would go alone. It was the least he could do for the goofy guy.

"Hey, Marv," Hopkins said, setting his bowl down as he stood. "Thanks for everything."

"That's what friends do," Marv shrugged.

_Friends._ How odd to hear that word here. It felt even weirder to agree with it. "You and Harry…you take care of yourselves, okay?"

"You goin' somewhere?"

"I guess so," Hopkins sighed, committing to his plan. The police station was several blocks away, but he knew the route. It would be a lonely walk. The better to collect his thoughts. "I…might not be coming back anytime soon."

"Well, if you ever need a place to crash, just let me know. Door's always open." Literally, given the busted lock.

"Thanks," Hopkins grinned as he crossed the room, each step heavier than the last. Still, he knew what had to be done. He slowly reached for the door and pulled it open…

"The service here has really improved."

"Torchwick?" Hopkins nearly fell backwards as the source of his misery strutted through the door.

"Torchwick!" Marv cheered.

"Me!" Torchwick added. "Now that we've got the introductions out of the way, what's say we get down to business, eh?"

"Business?" Hopkins didn't like the sound of that.

"Glad you agree. Quite the place you've got here…"

"Marv," Marv quickly offered. "Me and Harry found this place a year back. Close to the shops, but far enough away nobody comes lookin'. We're thinkin' about putting in a–"

"I'm sure you have some lovely renovations planned, but I'm on a bit of a tight schedule here, Marv." With that, Torchwick turned to Hopkins. "C'mon, kid. We're blowin' this town."

"Me?"

"You sly dog!" Marv cheered, picking Hopkins off the ground while somehow missing the obvious. "All that mysterious talk. You gettin' back on Torchwick's crew? Why didn't you say so?"

"We like to keep things kinda quiet. Ain't that right, kid?"

"Sure?" Hopkins really didn't know what to say, as his mind was still struggling to catch up.

"Excellent." Torchwick slapped him on the back, nearly sending him back to the floor. "Now, pack your bags. If we aren't out of here by nightfall, the police will be the least of our worries."

"Out of…what are you talking about?"

"You and me, kid. We're goin' places." Torchwick hooked his arm and turned him to the door. "As in, places far away from here. I need to lay low for a while, and I want you to come along. Well, actually, Neo wants you to come along. And you know me. Too much of a softie to ever say no to that sweet, innocent, little girl."

"But I'm not a criminal!" Hopkins protested, tearing his arm free of Torchwick's before the master thief could throw another wrench in his plans.

"Great! You already know your cover story. None of us are criminals. Right, Marv?"

"No criminals here, sir."

Hopkins tried to come up with a better argument, but his mind shattered as Neo seemingly materialized in front of him. Her smile threatened to split her face as she rushed forward, snagging Hopkins in a tight hug. It only lasted a few seconds, but Hopkins felt his defenses melt in that brief moment.

"Ah, Neo! You ready to go?" Neo kicked the side of a small cooler. "Fine. I'll carry the cooler for now, but your boy toy gets it the rest of the trip." Neo nodded happily, snatching Hopkins's hand and gently tugging him forward. "So, lover boy, you comin'?"

Hopkins watched his two choices from earlier fly out the window. A life of crime in Vale didn't sound promising. Rotting in a cell didn't really appeal to him either.

But running away with a cute girl and starting over in some remote village? Now _that_ had potential.

"I'm in."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

"Terminal nine is ready for you, Miss Belladonna," the holographic secretary cheerfully advised.

"Thanks," Blake quietly answered, still a little unsure of this whole setup. _A video date. What could be more informal?_ It was just a glorified scroll call with a stranger. Best of all, no matter what happened here, she would finally be free of Beacons of Love and the untold nightmarish dates that might await her. A short chat. What could possibly go wrong?

Blake had come in her combat outfit, feeling far more confident. Besides, what was the point in getting all gussied up for something like this? As Blake took her seat, she was grateful to see that no one was at a nearby console to overhear. Her screen faced the window, meaning no one would be able to peek from behind, either. She'd also scanned the room for any familiar faces before checking in, just to be safe.

Only when she failed to spot either bright, blonde hair or a pair of wolf ears did she finally relax.

She still had a couple minutes. Carefully, she checked herself in the empty screen's reflection, pushing some hair behind her ear before subtly adjusting her bow. Despite the repeated failures, she still couldn't help the slight nervousness that welled up inside her. A date was still a date, even if she had _zero_ expectations.

The seconds ticked by slowly, inching closer to the appointed time. Honey and Randi had been a little desperate to make this happen, but Yang seemed to think they just wanted to make things right. After all, most of their clients weren't also close friends. To succeed so often with random strangers but fail someone close to you must've been agonizing.

The screen before her suddenly lit up, indicating an incoming call. She hesitated for a moment, her finger hovering just above the Accept button. With a deep breath, she did her best to put on a pleasant smile and answered the call.

Her smile didn't last long.

The man before her looked dumbfounded, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. He rubbed his eyes, just to be certain they weren't playing tricks, then looked again. Blake ducked her head slightly as a smile overtook the man's face.

"Blake?"

"Dad?"

"It's really you?" Ghira Belladonna asked, still doubting the image before him. "It's been so long."

"I know, Dad." Blake hadn't meant for it to be like this. She'd left home, choosing the White Fang over her own family. They'd begged her not to go, but she'd snuck out late at night without a word and caught the first ship to Mistral with Adam. She'd had to change scroll numbers after they practically bombarded her with messages to make sure she was okay. Even now, her father looked ready to take her back in a heartbeat without so much as a scolding. "I'm sorry. I–"

Ghira's smiling face suddenly shot to the side as the large man was unceremoniously launched out of his seat. Replacing him was a far more terrifying individual.

"So good to hear from you, Blake." Blake tensed as the far too friendly smile of her mother, Kali Belladonna, took over her screen. "I was beginning to wonder when you were going to call."

"But you called–" Blake stopped herself midsentence, but it was too late.

"Exactly." Kali's eyes narrowed slightly, conveying just how much trouble she was in. "Birthdays. Mother's Day. Not even so much as a postcard from my _darling_ little kitten." Blake gulped at the emphasis her mother placed on that word.

Forget all the terrible dates she'd been put through. Nothing even came close to the horror that had overtaken Blake at that moment. Desperately, she sought for an escape. Her eyes locked onto the End Call button. "Sorry, Mo…ad connect…try again later…"

"Don't worry. I'll just call back on your scroll. Or your teammates' scrolls. Or your neighbors…"

"Oh. Signal's all better now." _Dang it, Randi!_ There would be no escaping her mother. "Well, I'm sure you two are really busy, so I'll just–"

"We've got plenty of time, dear. Our flight doesn't leave for another hour."

"Flight?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" The absolute smugness of Kali's smile made it clear the omission had been on purpose. "We're coming to Vale to see you. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Y-you're coming here?"

"Absolutely! After all, our daughter's in the Vytal Tournament, from what I hear. We wouldn't want to miss _that_." Blake nearly fell out of her chair at the revelation. "You can introduce your team, show us around campus, explain why you ran away with that bull-headed twerp…"

"Maybe go clothes shopping," Ghira offered, suddenly making Blake very self-conscious about her outfit.

"Yay." Blake's cheer lacked any real enthusiasm.

"But enough about us. Why don't you talk, dear?" Blake knew it wasn't a suggestion.

"There's…not much to say."

"Oh, I'm sure the daughter who ran away from home to join a bunch of radicals, then left them when they turned out to be, _gasp_, radical, only to run away again rather than coming home can think of a few stories to entertain her mother."

Her vows of revenge against Randi rang hollow, as she knew there would be no escaping Hurricane Kali when it made landfall tomorrow. The best she could do was prepare for the calamity to come. _The Kali-mity. Dang it, Yang!_ Then again, that was only if she survived _this_ conversation, which promised to be an agonizing ordeal itself.

* * *

**Just when Blake thought things couldn't get any worse...**

**Yes, I know this isn't how Kali acted in Volume 4, but that was when Blake came home to them, not when Kali had to be the one to seek her out. I'd like to imagine she can be the terrifying, guilt-wielding mother we see her when needed.**

**At least Hopkins gets a happy ending. It's funny. I never planned anything for Hopkins. I only even introduced him to this story because I forgot Torchwick was still imprisoned and I needed him free. Somehow, he kinda took over the story and demanded my attention. Figured I'd finally give him his shot with Neo as thanks for his performance, since it seems like you all enjoyed him more than some of my actual pairings. Such is the life of a writer. You never can tell what's really gonna take off.**

**If all goes according to plan, next Friday will be the final chapter of this story. Kind of weird wrapping it up already, but not every story is a 50-chapter monstrosity like In RWBY's Shadow. Still, it's been fun, and I really appreciate the feedback I've gotten from everyone. No matter what anyone says, I have the best readers on here. After all, you continue to put up with me.**

**Quick explanation of the chapter title. Temple of Doom. My sleep-deprived mind came up with it yesterday, so the rationale is beyond stupid. Who's the focus of this chapter? Kali. How is she related to Blake. Her ma (mom). "Kali Ma!" *_cracks whip_* Dooo doo-doo-doooo, dooo doo-doooo...**


	15. Just Desserts

**Whoops. Posted without Author Notes. How embarrassing, especially on the final chapter. Yes, that's right. Beacons of Love is wrapping up. Tying up some loose ends this week, so the humor is a little lighter. More about finishing my second work in the end notes. For now, enjoy.**

* * *

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here this evening."

"We kinda live here," Coco answered, motioning to the dorm room they were gathered in. Velvet was sat nearby, monitoring data on the Beacons of Love servers, though she paused now that Randi had finally spoken.

"Fine. I'm sure you're wondering why I've invited myself to your room then," Randi corrected.

"Eh, fair enough."

Rather than answer the unspoken question of their purpose tonight, Randi looked around the room a moment and made a request. "Hey, Coco, can you open that window for me?"

"It's pretty cold outside," Honey pointed out.

"I know. Just trust me, okay?" Coco hesitated, but having worked with Randi for a while now, she decided not to bother questioning the girl and threw open the window. The cold night air quickly rushed in, making Honey shiver. "Much better."

"Alright, wolf girl. Quit the stalling and get to the point." Coco tipped her sunglasses down. "You're holding up our Friday game night."

"This won't take long. I promise." Randi stepped closer to Velvet, causing the girl's tall ears to stand up a little straighter. "Velvet. Remember how you sent out that ad to everyone?"

"Yeah. It wasn't too hard." _Except for the part where you sent it to too many people…_ "Why?"

"I need you to send another one. Sort of a formal announcement, I guess."

"Oooo…" Velevet drawled out, suddenly a lot more excited about Randi's plans. "Are we hosting some sort of special event? What is it? A dance? Speed dating? Dinner under the stars?"

"Not quite. We're…well, how do I put this?" Randi's finger drummed lightly against the corner of her mouth as she tried to put the words together. Her ears twitched toward the door suddenly. "Oops. Hold that thought."

"What?"

Coco's question went ignored as the door to CFVY's room slammed open, revealing a rundown looking Blake. Honey wasn't sure what was more surprising – the lack of a bow hiding the girl's cat ears or her thick sweater adorned with an adorable kitten face. Blake didn't walk into the room as much as she stumbled. Randi was by her side in an instant, preventing their friend's face from being introduced to the floor. Blake took a second to catch her breath and managed a weak grin for the assist.

Until she saw who had helped her.

"You!" Blake growled, ears flattening as she bared her teeth and swiped at Randi, who danced back just out of reach.

"Are you okay, Blake?" Honey asked.

"Both of you!" Blake's upper lip twitched into a snarl as her eyes shot between the two, despite the heavy bags weighing them down. The effort seemed to exhaust her, rage surrendering to despair. "How could you? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

"Deserve what?" Honey asked, hoping to drown out whatever unhelpful comment Randi had about Blake's past. "What happened?"

"Mom happened," Blake groaned.

"Your parents are here?" Somehow, that explained everything. Even during their limited interaction with the woman, Kali Belladonna had proven an absolutely terrifying woman. Still, she hadn't mentioned coming to Vale. Just that she wanted to set up a scroll call from Mistral. Honey felt a little sorry for their neighbor, but better Blake than them.

"They got in this morning. I haven't had a moment's peace since." Blake sucked in a deep breath, held it, then tried to breathe out all her pain. By the looks of things, it didn't do much. "My parents are just so unbearable sometimes. Why'd you run away? Who are you dating? Why didn't you call?" Blake's whiny impression wouldn't be winning her any awards. "Maybe because you won't leave me alone. I only managed to get away by claiming I had to use the bathroom. Hopefully, my team can keep them busy for a bit."

"What if they rat you out?"

"They won't, if they know what's best for them," Blake answered, anger returning as she turned to Randi once more. "This…this is all your fault. You and that stupid Beacons of Love crap. They'd never have found me if you weren't plastering my picture all over Remnant."

"Hasn't your team been all over the news this year?" Coco questioned. "The docks, the paladin fight, the Breach…"

"And let's not forget the Tournament," Randi added. "Plus, you didn't even change your name. Did you even _want_ to stay hidden?"

"Still your fault," Blake muttered unconvincingly. "I'll get you back for this, Randi. Mark my words. Even if it takes–"

"_I only managed to get away by claiming I had to use the bathroom._" Blake's mouth clicked shut as her voice played back on Randi's scroll. Blake had forgotten the cardinal rule of dealing with her fellow first-year faunus.

Never underestimate Randi.

"Y-you recorded me?" Randi's scroll answered by repeating some of her complaints back again. All the color drained from Blake's face as she realized just how doomed she was. "Give me that!" Blake pounced for the scroll, but Randi proved faster.

"Not so fast," Randi said, stepping away before Blake could try again. "How about we make a deal?" Blake drew back, fully aware of how dangerous deals with Randi could be, but knowing she didn't have much choice. "Since you didn't appreciate our help, you get yourself a date for tomorrow night, and I won't send this to Kali."

"That's all?"

"Yep. Seven o'clock at Clemens. And it has to be a real date," Randi stressed, levelling a serious look at Blake. "No _just friends_ garbage or some group thing. A romantic, one-on-one evening with someone you actually like. Otherwise, I'll make sure Kali gets this message. Heck, I'll even help her hunt you down afterwards."

"You wouldn't."

"I would." Randi's vicious, toothy grin promised she'd enjoy it, too. "And, hey, if it turns out you're better than us at finding a date, I'll even sweeten the pot a bit."

"How so?"

"I'll shut down Beacons of Love."

"Really?" Blake seemed far more interested all of the sudden.

"Yep. If we're not the best matchmakers in town, then we have no business pretending to be," Randi shrugged, casually offering the end of their booming service for such a simple task. "But I need an answer. Preferably before your mom makes it down the hall."

"What?"

"Ten seconds Blake. Tick tock tick tock. What's it gonna be?"

"I…I don't…"

"Going once. Going twice…"

A knock at the door added to the urgency. Randi slowly turned to answer it.

"Deal!" Blake hurriedly agreed, frantically shaking Randi's hand before she could reach the door. With a panicked look around the room, she took the only reasonable option and dove out the window, only a second before Randi opened the door.

"You guys done yet?" Yatsuhashi asked, hoping to reclaim their lost room.

"Great timing, big guy," Randi laughed, ignoring the loud cursing of her name from a few stories below. "Sorry. We had a little interruption. Give us a few more minutes, and we'll clear out. Thanks again!"

"You're shutting down?" Velvet asked once the door was closed again. "Why? Just because of Blake?"

"Not her," Randi cryptically answered. "Let's just say we flew a little too close to the sun. It's been fun, but all good things must come to an end."

"So all that stuff with Blake…"

"Just wrapping up some loose ends before we close down," Randi assured Coco. "Which reminds me…" Randi quickly typed something into her scroll, then tucked it away. "There. Two Nevermore with one stone. I think that's everyone."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Anyways, I need you to send out an announcement that we're shutting down tomorrow, Velvet. I'll send you the wording later tonight, but I'm no good at that mass messaging stuff. Think you can handle it?"

"I guess," Velvet answered, despite everyone knowing she could. "But why–"

"Great! Now, Coco, take about three steps to your right. Oh, and Velvet, you may want to duck," Randi instructed, stepping beside the door as she did.

Despite the confusing commands, the female half of Team CFVY obeyed, just in time to avoid being pummeled by their servers, which decided to follow Blake's exit out the window without warning. Honey had to assume the yelp from below meant Blake had avoided the attack. She would've peeked out to check herself, but their newest arrival demanded attention.

"Where is Miss Asmer?" A furious Miss Goodwitch demanded. Coco and Velvet wisely chose to abandon any loyalty and pointed out the guilty faunus a few feet away.

"Good evening, Miss Goodwitch. How was your meal?" Randi seemed oddly calm for a girl levitating upside-down.

"When I granted permission for your little dating site, I assumed you would know better than to include me in your clientele."

"But we helped Ozpin and Port," Randi attempted.

"Those men _need_ help," Goodwitch countered, unwilling to give any ground. "I do not."

"Did the date not go well?" Randi asked. "General Ironwood assured me he would be a perfect gentleman when he requested the arrangement."

"James did _what_?"

"He asked me to set it up. Said he wanted to surprise you."

Randi's newfound powers of flight came to an abrupt halt as the girl was unceremoniously dumped face first on the floor. "He did, did he?" The explanation didn't even put a dent in the woman's anger, but it seemed to redirect it at least. "Thank you for that information, Miss Asmer. The general and I will be having words in the morning." Honey didn't envy the man. "As for you…"

"Detention?"

"Absolutely. Two weeks with Professor Port, starting tomorrow. Both of you." Honey had hoped Randi would take the blame alone, but Goodwitch knew of her involvement. "I'd also recommend that I do not run into either of you for the next few days. It would be a shame if something _accidentally_ happened to you."

"Yes, ma'am," Randi agreed from the floor. Goodwitch shot them all a final glare, before muttering something about a stupid man-child and storming out.

"You okay, Randi?" Honey asked as she helped her teammate up.

"Never better," Randi replied, dusting herself off. "Honestly, that went better than expected. I thought she'd throw _us_ out the window."

Coco and Velvet shot each other confused looks, but decided to just leave it alone. Honey thought they should be grateful Randi had them open the window beforehand.

"Anyways, I'll send you the details for the message tonight, Velvet. Thanks again for all your help."

"No problem?" Velvet offered, still recovering from the assault on their room.

"Well, c'mon Honey. I think our work here is done."

/- - - - - - - - - -/

Sun scratched his head as he read an odd message from Randi. They hadn't really spoken much during his visit to Beacon, but he knew the girl's team through Blake. He still couldn't tell if Blake liked or hated Randi half the time, but Blake was all sorts of complicated.

"What's that?" Neptune asked, noticing the confused look on Sun's face. Spending Saturday in a library was probably a recipe for such confusion, but usually the guy would be playing a game or catching a nap when Neptune dragged him along.

"I don't know. Randi just sent me a message."

"Dude, I didn't know you and Randi were dating."

"We're not," Sun assured his friend. "I mean, don't get me wrong. Randi's a bit of a babe." Neptune couldn't help but agree. Pretty much all the Huntresses were gorgeous, but some still managed to stick out. Randi was definitely among the elevens, as some of the guys had started classifying them. "But it's not like I'm just gonna rush after any faunus girl."

"I know." Sun could be a little dense sometimes, but Neptune knew his friend wasn't like that. The guy only had eyes for one girl. Too bad that girl didn't seem as interested. "So, what'd she say?"

"You're welcome," Sun answered, showing Neptune the message.

"Weird. Maybe she sent it to the wrong person?"

"Maybe," Sun shrugged. "We almost done here?"

"I think so." Neptune tucked a book under his arm before carefully replacing another. "I just need to check out and we'll head to lunch."

"Finally," Sun grumbled.

Neptune didn't see what the big deal was. They'd only been there around an hour. Picking out a new book was hard. Neptune wanted to make sure he got a good one. As much as he hated the water, the novel he'd picked out about life on a sealing schooner looked really interesting. Besides, reading about water was a lot safer than being in it.

The librarian recognized him as he approached the desk, sparing a friendly smile and addressing him by name. Having so much free time lately meant he'd had plenty of opportunities to delve into some new stories. Huntsman training didn't leave a lot of time for reading, so he planned to cram as many new tales in as he could before the Tournament. Rumor had it they were aiming for two weeks from now to finally start, meaning he only had a little time left before Sun would demand longer training sessions again.

"Hey, Sun."

"Blake?"

Neptune turned to find his buddy's not-so-secret crush standing behind them. She looked slightly embarrassed as she took a moment to gather her thoughts. Never one to let an awkward silence linger, Sun piped up, "Haven't seen you around lately. What's up?"

"Tonight at seven. You and I are going to Clemens. Wear something nice."

"Really?" _Way to sound desperate._ Sun apparently felt the same "I mean, sure! Should I pick you up at your room?"

"That…that would be nice," Blake agreed, fighting off a blush before speed walking away.

"Woohoo!" Sun cheered as soon as Blake left the library. Neptune felt his brain rattling around as Sun excitedly shook him. "I've got a date with Blake! It's finally happening. Oh man, what should I wear? Do I need to bring something? How fancy is this place?"

"Chill, man." Sun was too excitable sometimes, but that was just part of his charm. "Go grab something to eat, then run into town and get her some flowers or something. You can look up Clemens on your scroll, but I've heard it's a little formal. Nothing _too_ fancy, but you'll probably want a tie. Now get going before you explode."

Sun made it a whole two steps before he stopped, realizing he'd be ditching his friend. "You sure?"

"I can handle lunch on my own," Neptune promised. Besides, that meant he'd have the afternoon free for reading. "Your dream girl just asked you out on a date. I think that takes priority."

"You're the best," Sun grinned, giving Neptune a fist bump before rushing away, still excitedly cheering his sudden stroke of good fortune. Neptune could only shake his head and chuckle at the ridiculous display, but he really was happy for the guy. If only he could be so lucky.

Collecting his book from the friendly girl behind the counter, Neptune slowly made his way towards the exit. With nothing to distract him, he cracked open the large book and began reading as he walked. He had to focus, as the opening pages were a bit of a slog, but the start of a story could be rough at times. He was a little confused why the story started on some sort of ferry, instead of the promised schooner. The main character didn't really strike him as a sailor, either. More of an intellectual. Nothing seemed to fit the description of an exciting journey across the high seas. That just meant there was a big twist lurking somewhere nearby. One he was eager to get to.

So eager, in fact, he failed to look where he was going as he left the library, turning the corner and running straight into someone. He nearly fell over her as he lost hold of his book, but managed to keep on his feet as the girl tumbled backward. His new story landed squarely on her chest, adding to the embarrassing incident.

"I'm so sorry," he hurriedly assured the girl as he helped her up.

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine. I just…eep!" The girl practically jumped away from him the moment she looked up, going from calm to anxious in a split second. "Neptune!"

"Do I…know you?" Neptune's brain furiously raced to place the cute girl's face, feeling like he recognized her but struggling to put a name to her. She tucked some of her blue-gray hair behind her ear nervously as her freckled cheeks reddened adorably. He didn't recall seeing her in class. It wasn't one of Sun's adoring fans, as far as he could tell.

It only took a few seconds for his mind to sound the alarm.

"Olive?" A soft smile crept onto the girl's face. "Olive Luri? Is it really you?"

"Hi, Neptune," Olive managed, unable to make eye contact.

"It _is_ you!" A flood of mixed emotions came crashing down on Neptune. Excitement. Anger. Joy. Sorrow. Hunger. He couldn't tell which was right. He'd always wondered what he'd do if he ever met the person who had toyed with his emotions for so long. Tell her off for being so callous. Yell at her for breaking his heart. But seeing her now, right in front of him, he couldn't help the giddiness threatening to overtake him. "B-but…you're real?"

"Yep," she admitted, hanging her head slightly. "Look, about what happened–"

"You stood me up," Neptune summarized, watching her suspiciously.

"No!" Olive reached for him, then stopped herself. "I…I mean, I didn't _mean_ to. I just…I got so scared."

"Scared? Of me?"

"Yes! You're, like, the coolest guy at Haven. And I'm just some nerdy faunus who never stood a chance." For the first time, Neptune noticed the small fins along her arms. "I thought…if we met, you'd be disappointed."

"How could you disappoint me?" Neptune asked with a goofy grin. "Don't tell anyone," Neptune looked around to make sure the coast was clear, "But I'm kind of a nerd too."

"You?"

"Yep." He preferred Intellectual, but right now, that seemed unimportant. "That's kinda why I liked talking to you. I didn't have to pretend to be super cool. We could talk about books, video games…I could just be myself."

"You liked talking to me?"

"Of course!" Neptune laughed. "Why do you think I wanted to meet so bad? Some cute girl who shared my interests and let me be myself? Sounds great to me."

"Y-you…think I'm…cute?" Olive stuttered, ducking her head as the words washed over her.

"Your picture didn't do you justice," Neptune promised.

Olive let out an adorable giggle as she finally looked up again. Her eyes reminded him of the sea, but not the raging waves that haunted his dreams. No. A calm, glistening pool that shone brightly. _Maybe water isn't so bad after all,_ he thought to himself. He certainly didn't feel afraid of her.

"Oh! Here's your book back," Olive said, though she hesitated as she looked at the cover. "Oh my gosh, that's my favorite story! What do you think of the captain? I always loved when he talked about life and his theological views. I don't agree with his comparison of us being a ferment, but the passion behind his words is just so enthralling, don't you think?"

"Theological views? Ferment?" What sort of book had he gotten himself into? "I actually haven't read it yet. Thought it was supposed to be an action-adventure type story."

"Oh, it is," Olive assured him. "I don't want to spoil it for you, but there's a lot going on. The harsh reality of life on the seas. A captain whose brutal beliefs are acted out on the crew. A protagonist forced to confront the antithesis of his values while fighting for his own survival."

"You really like it, huh?" An idea sprung into Neptune's head. "Maybe you could tell me more over lunch?"

"Lunch?" Olive stiffened, though her voice sounded hopeful. "You mean…you still want to have lunch with me?"

"Absolutely," Neptune insisted, taking a step toward the cafeteria. He was thrilled to see her hurry to come alongside him. "Though, I have to ask. My teammates tried to find you several times, but never could find someone with your name."

"My name's Sophie," she admitted. "Sophie Olive Suluri, but my friends call me Olive."

"Then Olive it is," Neptune smiled.

/- - - - - - - - - -/

For the first time in weeks, Randi didn't really have anything to worry about. Final dates had been arranged prior to their sudden shutdown. The farewell message had been sent. She didn't have to worry about finding matches for anyone. Port had even excused her from detention as thanks for her assistance before. She could finally just relax and enjoy an evening with her team.

"Ah, Miss Asmer!" Morado excitedly exclaimed as she led her team into Clemens. "A pleasure to see you again. I see you brought the whole team tonight."

"Yep. Figured I'd show them the best restaurant in town." It never hurt to butter up the staff, though Randi knew she didn't need to. Aside from the increased business Beacons of Love had generated for Clemens, Randi knew Morado had a bit of a crush on her. She was never one to mix business and pleasure, but since Beacons of Love was no longer operating, maybe she'd give him a chance.

"Your usual table is ready. If you'll all follow me." Morado led them around the outskirts of the dining area to a reserved table just around the corner from the kitchen. In Randi's opinion, it was the best seat in the house. Close to the orchestra, but not _too_ close. Near the kitchen, so the servers were always quick to check on you. Plus, Mister Clemens always liked to swing by when she visited. On top of all that, it gave her a wonderful view of the dining area, where she could watch some of her handiwork play out.

Sure enough, she recognized several couples tonight. Cardin waved from across the room, pointing them out to Velvet. Nora looked to be on cloud nine as Ren pulled out a seat for her. Weiss simply nodded in recognition from two tables away, too focused on the trumpeter on stage to care for much else. Over in the far corner, she could see Penny giggling like a schoolgirl as Whitley told her some story. A young boy from Shade shot Randi a thumbs-up as the food arrived for him and his date.

There was just something so satisfying about knowing how many people she'd helped.

"Good evening, everyone," Jade cheerfully greeted as Morado slipped away. "And how are our two favorite customers doing tonight? I saw your announcement. Is Beacons of Love really done?"

"Sadly, yes," Randi confirmed. Clemens would be fine without them, given their newfound popularity.

"Mister Clemens was sad to hear it. I'll let him know you're here. You know how he likes to see you when you visit." Randi did know. While she knew Mister Clemens loved the extra business, he'd made it clear they were like daughters to him. He'd offered to be their team's official sponsor in the Tournament before Randi told him they didn't really do sponsorships. Still, she knew they could count the staff among their fans. "And who'd you bring with you tonight?"

"Jade, these are our teammates. Lilly Azura, our leader, and Smit Brendis, her boyfriend."

"Randi," Lilly softly growled, not a fan of their relationship being broadcast to strangers.

"Oh, lighten up, Lilly. It's true, isn't it?" Lilly glared at her nonetheless, though she eventually agreed, summoning Smit's goofy smile as she scooted closer to him.

"I thought I recognized you," Jade commented. "Weren't the two of you in that ad?"

"I think I'm ready to order," Lilly cut in, trying to change the topic before Jade and Randi could have their fun. Randi assured them they could order whatever they wanted. Lilly didn't need to be told twice, quickly picking out a rather expensive duck breast and adding practically any upcharge she could find. When Smit chose a small steak, Randi quickly changed his order for him, picking out the biggest rib-eye they had. Smit's half-hearted attempt to fight back went ignored by Jade. Honey and Randi ordered their usual before Jade scurried away.

"You two are like celebrities here," Smit said, a little impressed. "Private meetings with the owner. Plus, the staff practically worship you."

"Well, business has been good," Randi commented, waving at a new pair of arrivals. "Told you it would work, Honey."

The glare Blake shot back from the entrance didn't exactly go with the excitement of the monkey faunus beside her. "Still seemed a little mean," Honey griped, "but I guess all's well that ends well."

"What are you two talking about?" Lilly asked as she spotted the new arrivals. "I thought you promised not to send Blake on any more dates."

"We didn't," Randi promised. "Blake asked Sun out."

"Wow. You guys stunk so badly she finally took matters into her own hands?" Lilly grinned smugly as she rubbed their failure in their faces. "Ha! Guess even you make mistakes, Randi."

"Who said anything about a mistake?" Lilly's smile faded when confronted with Randi's. "What? You thought we were failing on _accident_?"

"Wait, you…" Randi could almost see smoke rising out of Lilly's ears as she pieced everything together. "You gave her bad dates on purpose?"

"Why?" Smit asked, not quite understanding yet. "How does that help her?"

"It took some work," Randi admitted, "but I knew she'd never let me set her up with Sun. Instead, I pushed her into a corner and forced her to ask someone herself. And who do you think she ran to?"

"Sun," Lilly answered. "That's…well, diabolical, but genius."

"Even when she fails, she succeeds," Smit joked, unsubtly stretching to put his arm around Lilly, who was fully aware of what he was doing but didn't do anything to stop it. As much as she protested, Randi knew she could add Smilly to the list of successful relationships.

The food was delicious, as always. Smit practically tore through his meal, humming in pleasure with each bite of the tender, juicy steak. Lilly proved more refined, eating at a much slower pace with manners that even Weiss would approve of. The mixture of Flynt's jazzy melodies – thankfully without the extra _umph_ he was capable of – with the pleasant hum of conversation made for a fantastic atmosphere. Randi finished her meal just before they were joined by a familiar man.

"Randi! Honey! How are my two favorite girls?"

"Mister Clemens!" Honey cheered as she rose to give the older man a hug.

"Jade told me you had brought friends tonight. I just _had_ to come meet them. After all, any friends of my girls are welcome at Clemens."

"I'm Lilly." Apparently, Lilly didn't want to let Randi handle the introductions anymore. "And this is Smit."

"Ah, so I finally get to meet the rest of the team, eh?" Mister Clemens smiled as he looked at the two. "Another happy couple from Beacons of Love."

"Actually, they got together before we started the service," Randi corrected.

"My mistake," Mister Clemens shrugged. "We get so many in here thanks to my little matchmakers, that I just assume everyone comes from them. It's usually a safe bet."

"I'm glad you're here, actually," Randi interrupted before Mister Clemens could get going. They'd be there all night if she wasn't careful. "I'm afraid we're going to have to terminate our business arrangement. Beacons of Love has been shut down."

"Nonsense!" Mister Clemens enthusiastically dismissed her concern. "As far as I'm concerned, you two have more than earned your discount. In fact, all four of you are welcome here anytime. My treat."

"Really?" Smit perked up. Randi would have to have a word with him later to ensure he didn't abuse the privilege, though Lilly looked like she would beat her to it.

"That's awfully generous of you, sir," Lilly said, striving for politeness.

"These two have made my place _the_ romantic spot in Vale. It's the least I can do. And don't worry about the check tonight, either."

"Glad we could help," Randi said, knowing better than to argue with the man. "And thank you."

"Certainly, my dear. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go poke fun at Miss Schnee before Flynt finishes his set." With that, Mister Clemens darted away, swiping the extra seat beside Weiss, who greeted him warmly.

"Your treat, huh?" Lilly said. "How generous of you."

"Hey, free is free," Randi defended, nodding past them all to Jade, who disappeared into the kitchen with a smile.

"Wait a second…" Lilly pondered for a moment. "Is _this_ why you started Beacons of Love?"

"Why, whatever do you mean, dear leader?"

"This!" Lilly exclaimed, pointing to her food. "I _knew_ something was up! Meddling with your teammates made sense. Even getting involved with Pyrrha and Jaune. But setting up strangers for free? I knew there had to be some sort of catch."

"What catch?" Smit asked.

"Free food! They did all of this just to eat for free. That's…that's…"

"Genius?" Smit offered.

"Messed up!" Lilly corrected. "They played cupid for nothing more than dinner. You weren't being generous. You were just using people so you could eat for free. Randi, I understand. But you, Honey? Is this all it takes to buy your loyalty? I never–" Lilly cut off as a brownie smacked her in the face. "What was _that_ for?"

"It's your…just desserts," Randi answered.

"Dang it, Randi!"

* * *

**The end is...well, it's here, actually. What an odd experience this was. In RWBY's Shadow had over 100 pages of detailed outline. This had 15 bulletpoints listing each pairing and nothing more. Winged it every week. Definitely prefer having a detailed plan, but it was kinda fun. Random stuff happened in the moment that I think fit a comedy better. There were some bumps along the way, but overall, I'm happy with my work. The ending was somewhat planned in advance, in that I knew Goodwitch would be the conclusion thanks to a date with Ironwood.**

**I've gone soft in my old age. Even Neptune and Olive get a happy ending. Bonus points to anyone who can name the story Olive described. It's actually my favorite book. Famous author, though two of his other works are far more well-known than this one. I have a collection of his works that I've read through. Even the short stories, which are better than I'd expected.**

**The final chapter title is a reference to a friend of mine in high school and college. May have mentioned it in a note for In RWBY's Shadow at some point, but can't remember. Basically, he walked into my room and chucked a brownie wrapped in a napkin at me. On the napkin, it read "It's your just desserts." We were big fans of FilmCow back then (Charlie the Unicorn, Llamas with Hats, etc.) and one of their videos had that joke. He baked an entire tray of brownies just so he could pull off the joke. It was glorious.**

* * *

**So, on to other matters. I will be taking another break, though I don't know for how long. I have an idea for my next fic, but will need time to plan it out in detail. In RWBY's Shadow took around four months to plan before the first chapter dropped, but I'm not sure how comparable this session will be, as I had a lot more free time back then. Now, for the reveal of what I'm planning.**

**No OC story this time. Instead the focus will be...Adam Taurus. That's right. I'm going for another hated story type. You all braved an OC story, so I'm hoping you'll give an Adam backstory a chance. I plan to delve back into his childhood and growing up. I want to explore early Adam. The one Blake fell in love with. More importantly, I can't wait to delve into his descent into madness. The slow spiral from normal faunus kid to murderous leader of the White Fang with an unhealthy Blake obsession. Obviously, I'll be making up a lot of details, but it will likely carry through to Volume 6 and include some familiar scenes. It's gonna be a rel challenge, but that's what I enjoy. Not aiming to make people like or excuse Adam, but I want to show how a rational person can lose their grip and become a monster. It doesn't happen overnight, and neither will this story.**

**I already have an idea or two for future stories as well, so y'all aren't getting rid of me anytime soon. If you're interested in knowing when the next story drops, feel free to follow me on here. I also post about my work on Twitter ( TGoose2012) and RWBY Amino Apps (lots of random thoughts, polls, and other content on there). As always, I really appreciate the support from my awesome readers and hope it won't be _too_ long before I'm bringing you more content.**


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